So... Ganna make my first story here on FIMfiction.net...

It's not the first time I've ever written a story. I've written a few on fanfiction.net and have earned some valuable experience from it.

I shall not, and never, use the emoticons on the right side of my text box.

Anyways, with that out of the way, I'll tell you about my amazing (hint hint sarcasm) idea which I may or may not write (favoring the may as of now). I'll just post the main idea here so I can hear some feedback.

So. A small Dominion fleet ambushes a small garrison of the Great Protoss Fleet patrolling the border of Protoss space where they fight each other. The Terrans use a strategy to lure the (cocky) Protoss near to a black hole where they box them in, but then both fleets get sucked in.

See where I'm going with this?

Yup. The two small fleets are now (,still) battling over the planet of Equis. Que plot line and rainbow barf onto my computer screen.

Feedback is appreciated. I will read all the comments and answer questions. And yes, I'll try to make it canon.

-Powers

For some reason, every time I press Post Thread, it tells me... things. (Error messages with social media references...)

Interesting and Amusing, both intriguing and funny on the puke rainbow part

"Amusing..." :Aldaris:

My question is in the Dominion and Protoss Sides
I am assuming that is SC2: WoL. Dominion (Arcturus) and the Golden Armada of the Protoss Protectorate. dominons are the only humans, however, most of the them are resocialized crimilars, it's easy to see them as antagonists (again)

The Protoss see the younger races primitives and inferior, I think it's easy to see the protoss thinkin lowy on the ponies, the executor (or captain/admiral (don't know protoss ranks)) might just ignore them but if they interfer, I feel sorry for equestria.

the question is how the ponies (and possibly the mayority of the races in Equis) can intervene in a species war that lasted only 4 or 5 years? I can assume that if you add the zerg, they might join forces to destroy them... much to the ponies delight of course

As a writer and semi-casual reviewer, I say go for it. Writing is always worthwhile. One thing I'd hope to helpfully suggest is that you bear in mind that the key focus here is always the ponies, at least in the meta-sense of this site. It essentially means that there has to be a capacity for the SC stuff and the Pony stuff to interact in some capacity. This could be technological goodies raining down in the debris, maybe rescue parties and the resultant squabbles of survivors on the ground, if they have the ability to do so, observing or possibly even intervening in some fashion in the conflict above.

As a reviewer the most default and repeated crossover style I see is to start the chapter with the other 'verse content, introduce the action/dynamic/whatever there and, at the very end of the first chapter drop in the connection to Equestria. I actually advise against this, because most readers won't be familiar with the intricaies of the non-pony content, and getting a lot of this at once doesn't captivate. It also requires one to draft up several OC's on the spot (typically) and this is a hurdle that is best left to versed and experienced writers, who usually avoid doing this anyway Rather, my recommendation would be to start with (and mostly stay with) the recognizeable and the known (aka ponies) and present the situation from their perspective. For them, the story starts when there's fires in the sky.

I'd be happy to discuss further musings

You have my support

Very interersting, I like it. Also I've read the Dark templar saga and the protoss can bring back the original memories of the marines and such(hence why in the book a marine goes rampage).

Do it. I'll gladly help you with any of the technicalities of science involved (E.G. Explaining the way technology/magic/physics/science/rainbow barf/whatever you fancy in your head works in a way that is not true in the slightest, but makes sense to the reader).

1953821

I might place this all happening during and maybe after BW, but before WoL, so you'll see lots of the old technology, but a peek at what of the newer stuffs that are added in WoL.

This will easily be a 3 sided free-for-all (Terrans, Protoss, and Ponies)and maybe the Zerg The Terrans are stubborn as the suits they wear and the Protoss... are also stubborn. You'll feel plenty of hate for everybody :D

Anyways, the Terrans and Protoss will still be at each others throats, even on an unknown, primative planet. The ponies will try to protect themselves from the aliens, so they'll mainly be on the defensive, the Terrans will be more aggresive, and the Protoss will be like an older sibling and harass both of them with their adages and superior technology.

1953836

I'll try to make my chapters long (5,000 words? 10,000?) and will type up a few before posting the first one. Updates may be slow, but as this is the only project I have, there will be few "distractions" (from school or something). I will make the first chapter as dramatic as possible. I will keep in mind that the ponies is the reason why I will post on this site, but the first chapter will have alot of SC conflict and stuff. Plus, italics make everything more emphasised

The crews will all be OCs, and there will be death. Lots of it. However, the ponies will be canon (maybe a few OCs as well), but just because they are canon doesn't mean they are automatically impervious to death, now...

Squabbles from the survivors on the ground will be more than squabbles. Again, lots of death, plus Terrans are still hostile to Protoss.

1954711

Yay!

1954817

Good idea... Might use...

1958080

Great! Would you like to be a prereader?

[pretend there's a pagebreak here]

Thank you all for your support! I guess I'll start writing then...

I might need some prereaders... so just ask if you're interested.

-Powers

1953821 Actually, there's several human factions in the Korpulu sector. Besides the Confederacy (which became the Dominion) there is also the Umojan Protectorate, Kel-Morian Combine, and several others such as single planets which maintain self-determination.

The Golden Armada is something I'm less informed on. Far as I can tell, it's more or less all the remaining ships the Protoss have, that survived the fall of Aiur and the Brood War, anything they can scramble from their various colonies, anything they can slap together like the void-rays (not even the 'toss are all that sure how they work), Reactivating long-idle museum pieces (motherships) plus anything the Shakuras bros can bring to the party, all flying under the unified banner of the Protoss.

1960257 I'd be happy to preread.

1960357

The Gold Armada and the Great Fleet are different. The Golden Armada was the Protoss fleet after BW and the fall of Aiur, while the Great Fleet was pre - Terrans and Zerg. The Great Fleet was made to protect the Protoss worlds.

-Powers

1953821>>1953836>>1954711>>1954817>>1958080

Alright... here's a small excerpt of the first chapter...

[br]

Private Gary Sanders decided that he was happy to be in the militia. Drills were few and far between, but still happened. That was how he came to be in a corridor, humid from the sweat of his fellow soldiers and the rhythmic clunk with every step. Although the soldiers were slightly bored, the sergeant was really serious about his job.
He marched through the hallway of a standard Behemoth-class Battle Cruiser in his old CMC-400 suit wielding a slightly worn holograph-interacting C-14 rifle with a platoon of similarly clad marines.
“Hurry up, ya brutes! I want this drill to be finished by yesterday!” yelled the sergeant in a rather loud voice.
’m so glad I volunteered, thought Gary sarcastically.
“Come on! This isn’t the ****ing cadet academy! The Captain will be watching!”
It’s not like the old prune is going to do anything even if we screw up. Gary thought. That happens when you’re in the Dominion militia of nowhere. The thumps of the armored boots meeting the ground became more frequent.
“Turn!” the sergeant yelled again. The company abided.
The sergeant went to the nearby computer and typed a few commands on the console. A light blue hologram with the words “Exercise 318 Loading…” appearing in the air. Similarly, the female voice of the ship’s adjutant read it aloud. The captain was wearing casual wear, sitting on an uncomfortable looking metal sofa next to the computer.
A blue light projected from the wall shined on what seemed to be air, before materializing as a zerg hydralisk. More blue lights shined making more zerg projections.
“Alright! You all know what to do (,you bastards).”
The marines took formation as they aimed down their sights, shooting blue holographic bullets at the zerg. A red light beeped on one of Gary’s squad mates, deactivating his gun. The sergeant gave him a disapproving glare as he hurriedly got into a “dead” position. The squad’s medic came to “treat” him a.k.a. move him out of the practice range.
Gary took pot shots at a holographic hydralisk's face. It flashed red before the projector projecting it turned off, signalling that it was dead. A zergling charge was starting, so Gary pulled out his flak pistol and fired at the lead zergling. The hologram flashed and also disappeared.
Suddenly, a voice shouted out the intercom in a slightly panicked voice of an inexperience officer that Gary knew as his childhood buddy, Ensign (help me think of a name?), “Protoss warships sighted! They are in Dominion space. Should we intervene?”
What? The Protoss aren’t that stupid as to wander so deep into Dominion space while a large militia army was so close by. There must be something going on…
The sergeant, a bit more than slightly maddened that his (custom) exercise was interrupted, started muttering curses and other unpleasant things under his breath, as he felt it would be ill advised to do so aloud with the captain so close.
The captain was a good man. He followed orders, but knew how to relax. As he was the highest ranking officer and also the captain of the ship, and since checkups somewhat infrequent, he was free to do whatever he wanted as long as it didn’t break too many rules. In the old days, he used to fight in the guild wars. Now, in his late 50s, he had decided to take it easy in the militia of the small world of Roxara, a small colonist world. The atmosphere in the ship was relaxed because of his frequent quirks of buying random soldiers a drink to know them better or telling off an angry crewmate.
What a nice guy.
Anyways, there are some random Protoss warships here. Wonder what they want.

[br]

So... Tell me what you think. I did a bit of researching and stuff so yeah.

-Powers.

EDIT: Just realized that I haven't put any ponies in yet... I'll work on that. The scenario will be slightly changed and stuff... so yeah.

1991734 It almost seems kind of abrupt to me. Probably just me, but when I write a story like this, I try to write it with people who have NEVER heard of StarCraft in mind. Details on the way things look, feel, and sound. Maybe don't start it off with "This guy was happy to be in the marines", but instead go through the entire drill section and THEN introduce Gary. Describe the way the marines act, or how the armor rests on their bodies, the way it glints in the light as they run their drill. Just my thoughts.

1992620

I'd agree with this and take it even further. Take your character and stick the fuck to him. A lot of these stories become very narrative and exposition heavy, which really saps any semblance of excitement or vitality from the story. Rather, use the character to tell the story's background indirectly, because the story is what is immediately happening, not just the setting.

For example, if during the drill the marines have some smart-ass backtalk to their seargent, we get an impression of the roughness that's typical to them. If they often as not go drinking in the bar after drills, again we're shown the rougneck spacebilly sort of military normal to the Terrans, without having to be told.

All in all though, this isn't half bad. Keep at it

1991734

If it isn't followed up with a big space battle then I'm disappointed. Otherwise sounds interesting

1992620

Yes, I know. It's a bit abrupt. However, I do like writing as if the reader knows Starcraft. It's how I roll.

...

The colonial militia of this tiny colony world is supposed to be the most relaxed. It's full of nice guys. Don't know if that message came through or not, but I'll try to make it more refined, I usually go through 4 or 5 drafts before something is published (this is my first try for this). I will probably change it so that the drill section will be first, before introducing Gary (can someone PLEASE help me think of some good names? I suck at this.)

1992943

Although I may disagree with your language, I will try and follow one character at a time. One from each POV, maybe? Telling a story indirectly... I may have to read a bit into that. Again, the militia for this colony is more laidback since checkups are rare and few people are actually veterens. The higher-ups may be the only people who are serious.

2007324

Thanks! You won't be disappointed :)

[PRETEND THIS IS A BREAK]

Thanks for your support. I'll make some changes and the likes. Also, again I'd like to thank those who continue following this thread. It means alot to me. Expect the next draft to be posted here, too.