Here's the video's transcript provided by TheSonicFan697:
Mickey: That fucker is back!
Mickey's lawyer: Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too.
Mickey: It's been ninety-seven years!
Mickey's lawyer: You still pissed he came out before you?
Mickey: Uh, fuck you!
Mickey's lawyer: Just saying.

Mickey: Things have changed a lot since he left Disney.
Mickey's lawyer: That's for sure.
Mickey: I got to send a message of who's really in charge of things now. (Mickey's lawyer chuckles)

Mickey: Welcome home I'm gonna make you wish
That you'd stayed gone
Say hello
To a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand-new dawn Turn the TV on!

Director: Camera, speeds. Rolling in 3, 2...

(Minnie: Welcome to the show)

Mickey: Top of the hour and we're discussing a certain has-been
Who has been spotted cavorting around town (Minnie: Welcome to the show)
After a ninety-seven year absence
Did anybody miss him? (Minnie: Welcome to the show)
Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program!

So, the Lucky Rabbit is back in town
Why's he hangin' around?
What does that mean for your family?

Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, a fossil
And, I don't mean to sound hostile
But the rabbit is a coward!

You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible!
I'm modern, he's barely classical

Stop giving him the time of day
Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay
But he should've stayed away!

While he hid in cellulos
We pivoted to video
Now his medium is getting bloody rare!

Toonstown's been better since he split
Where's he been?
Who gives a shit!

Oswald: Salutations! Good to be back on the air
Yes, I know it's been a while since someone with style treated
Toontown to a broadcast
Toons rejoice! (Mickey: What a dated voice!)
Instead of a clout-chasing overblown corporate mascot (Mickey: Come on!)
Is Mick insecure, pursuing allure?
Flitting between this fad and that
Is nothing working? (Mickey: Ignore his chirping!)

Every day, he's got a new format

Mickey: You're looking at the future!
He's the shit that comes before that!

Oswald: Is Mickey as strong as he purports?
Or is it based on his support?
He'd be powerless without the big D!

Mickey: Oh, please!

Oswald: And here's the sugar on the cream
He asked me to rejoin Disney (Mickey: Hold on!)
I said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!

Mickey: You old-timey prick
I'll show you suffering!
Oswald: Uh oh, the mouse is buffering!
Mickey: I'll destroy you, you little lucky—!

Oswald: I'm afraid you've lost your signal
Let's begin...
I'm gonna make you wish
That I'd stayed gone
Tune on in

When I'm done
Your status quo
Will know its race is run
Oh, this will be fun! (laughs)

Mickey: Fuuuuuck!