This, my friends, is the completely original story of three close friends trapped inside a walled city as they fight for survival against an enemy, that they both know, and don't know. A harrowing tale of our protagonist's strong desire to see life outside the walls, even if it means risking her life... wait. Her? I thought we were talking about Attack on Titan!

Review: The Hunger
Note: This fanfic only had one chapter at the time of this review.

Okay, in all seriousness, I'm sure the author didn't mean for that to happen, but it was pretty funny, at least to me, although there was mention of being 'corralled like cattle', a popular quote from the anime... Wait. What were we talking about? Oh yes! Anyway, The Hunger. Well, I have quite a lot to say about it as a first chapter, and the story it's shaping. You already kind of know what this story is about from my earlier spiel, but that's not all there is to this story, and trust me, there's a lot to talk about, almost too much, which, coincidentally, leads me to my first topic, the plot.

In terms of plot, the story takes on a somewhat familiar 'humanity struggling against a powerful enemy' scene, but with anthropomorphized ponies. The story starts out with Twilight Sparkle, her friend Truci, whom we get very little description of other than her coat colour, and Pinkie Pie discussing Twilight's plan to escape the walls, not that anybody reading the fic would know there are walls without reading the description, or that there are evil shadow monsters bearing down on the city full force. To me, this is a serious problem, there's no introduction, the author is much too eager to begin this exciting journey, without taking the time to set up the plot or establish a scene and characters, it's all pushed aside for the sake of action. Another thing that surprised me was how, well, surprised Pinkie and Truci were by the state of the city, and how it stood against the shadow thingies. Is Twilight the only one who reads the newspaper? Do they have newspapers? Does she still have close connections to the Royal Sisters?.... I dunno, and I read the chapter three times. All I know is Twilight really wants to escape, Pinkie has absolutely no opinion on the matter, and Truci wants to stay because it's dangerous and then because of her brother, but then she agrees anyway because PLOT! I really do wish the story went at a much slower pace. It probably would've been quite enjoyable to read if the first chapter focused more on setting this new scene. Where are we in Equestria? What are the shadows? How long have things been like this? The story could've taken the time to sort those details out, instead of running headfirst into action without proper motivation, but we'll talk about motivation when we talk about the characters. For now, let's continue with the plot. Twilight's genius plan to escape the walls so she can run headfirst into the jaws of death is to try and convince the guard of the city, Helios, to just open the gate and let her frolic out into danger. And if that doesn't work, knock him out. Also, the magic is different in this world, how does it work? Uh. Well, my best guess would be that the stronger you are, the more powerful your arcane circles and stuff? Yeah? I don't know. This chapter was kind of vague, but it wasn't like that for the sake of mystery, once again, just rushing. So anyway, Twilight sets up an elaborate plan to temporarily disable Helios' magic, and everypony (everyone?) escapes, where? I guess I'll find out in the next chapter.

Now then, let's talk about the characters, and how... interesting they are. Because I totally got to know the characters over this first chapter. Not really though, considering how rushed everything felt. Allow me to elaborate the characters to you in four words each:

Twilight: I want to escape!
Truci: NO! Please don't escape!
Pinkie: I didn't say anything!

So now that you know everything I know about the characters, let's talk about how they interact, their emotional journey, and when we expect Pinkie to utter her first word... Hopefully, in the next chapter, we'll learn all of that stuff, because I certainly didn't learn any of it in this one. Twilight doesn't seem to care that she's leaving everything she knows behind, Truci essentially just reluctantly agrees, and Pinkie, I'm not even 100% sure she knows what's going on. There's very little emotional investment, which is something I love to see in stories.

That's not to say the story is all bad, I'm not saying that in any way. The concept is good, even if it feels... familiar, and the writing's pretty decent, no grammatical or spelling errors that I could notice, plus, I have a good feeling about this story, not really sure why, but, my hunches are right like 10% of the time so obviously this story is going to be a hit. If the writer takes some time to slow down and examine the story for its full worth, I think it could be excellent material.

 but, my hunches are right like 10% of the time so obviously this story is going to be a hit.

5985148
First chapters tend to be like this, when you are having an idea but haven't developed it yet.