This is not the official rulebook, these are to be referred to only as an example of what not to do

1. Just because an invention makes sense that does not mean it will necessarily work during tests.

2. a pigmy goat is not an adequate ergonomics baseline when building a locomotive for a railroad operated predominantly by ponies
2a. although a griffon model causes fewer problems than a pigmy goat model, crews complain too often from not being able to reach the controls

3. It is bad form to forget to specify the loading gauge during the design process
3a. We would also like to remind engineers to get representatives to cough up loading gauges before signing off on an order

4. Do not under any circumstances allow anyone related to Trixie Lulamoon into the Canterlot design room. Ever.

5. whilst not prohibited, rebuilding a locomotive for reasons of resentment towards the previous CME and then screwing up the design is considered bad form.
5a. It is also a waste of company funds

6. we would like to request the engine crews refrain from using their coal shovels to cook lunch. You have been provided a secondary shovel for a reason.

7. Pin ups in the cabs of locomotives is in very poor taste, please stop
7a. Male pin-ups are equally abhorrent

8. You will now earn demerits if you release steam with the intent of covering someone who you do not like with steam

9. We would like to ask that primates and minotaurs employed by the ENR refrain from making jokes pertaining to "buffers with grease spots"

10. Correctional inks are now prohibited within 3 meters of calendars.

11. Do not autograph your drafted drawings, especially on top of the drawing itself

12. Coffee is now prohibited in the drafting offices. Anyone wishing to intake on caffeine will be directed to the nearest canteen, which serves freshly brewed tea.

13. while testing of auditory signalling equipment is within company policy, doing so INSIDE the office is grounds for being sacked.

14. "whistle tests" in order to play a practical joke on the yard manager is not funny.

15. Impromptu whistling contests are not permitted, the heavy freight engines will win every time
15a. Furthermore, bragging about 'the biggest whistle' is best left for the missus

16. fitting a compressed air canister to a pump-cart and pretending you are a shunting locomotive is frowned upon.
16a. It is also frowned upon to rig up an automated system that gives the "emergency stop immediately" signal to any trains that pass by.
16b. as is rigging up an automated system that waves a red cloth in front of passing trains

17. 'Coltroy Was Here' is permitted on unpainted metal only.
17a. Painting anything other than the company logo is not permitted.
17b. The inside of the firebox is not an appropriate place to paint the company logo.

18. Company funds allocated to "physical testing" does not include buying tennis balls to bounce off the front of passing locomotives to demonstrate the conservation of energy

19. Using the blower to suck someone's sandwich into the firebox is prohibited.
19a. by extension-using the blower to eject burned and destroyed food or objects is prohibited. (Last time, wedding guests complained when a crew used the blower to eject overcooked food while passing through a station).

20. playing shunter chicken is not permitted, not to mention extremely dangerous.
20a. As is coupling and uncoupling wagons whilst in motion.

21. Riding in open wagons to get from one of the yard to the other is prohibited, as is sleeping in open wagons or any other wagons.

22. Using any tool to play fetch with the diamond dogs in the yards is prohibited.

23. Designing the “Eiffel tower but bigger” is a waste of company resources.

24. If you are operating a coal funnel and feel drowsy, you will earn fewer demerits if you shut off the funnel and notify your shift supervisor than if you attempt to continue your shift and fall asleep with the funnel active.

25. It is infeasible to completely fill a room with model trains. The office is not an appropriate place to test this theory.

26. 'ad nauseum' does not mean "make the footplate more unstable"

27. “Ice-Cooled Boilers” are counter to the purpose of a boiler.
27a. Experiments have proven that they make huge messes. Another experiment is not necessary

28. all rails are to be inspected for graphite coating before being installed in the permanent way

29. "9F" does not stand for "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

30. If harassment of gryphon staff continues, egg sandwiches will be removed from the menu

42. All persons more than a mile high must leave the court. Also, no one shall speak to the Man at the Helm, and the Man at the Helm shall speak to no one.

31. Crews must get permission from the division leader before attempting to break the speed record.
31a. It is also recommended to have someone there to officially keep track of the speed for said record.