Did I get you? I hope so. No r63 here. Just a Sins Fest post.

As we look in on Hell today, we see femikol pacing rapidly back and forth in front of Satan's front desk. femikol had just explained to Satan that he needed some help with his SinsFest review.

"I could easily help." Satan commented. Our lord of the underworld was sporting the attire he had word when they first met, except today, he wanted to wear some black gloves to go with his suit.
"Thank you," femikol replied. "That would be wonderful, though we're gonna have to rush it, since I completely spaced this until just now."
"Well, let's get to it!" Satan remarked, springing up from his desk. "Now coming to you live from Hell's News Network, this is..."

Now starring Satan!

Our story begins with a carnival in the world of Skylands

Ah... sweet sweet Skylanders, where did you go wrong? Also, 'Our story begins'? Really nothing better?
I

Smolderdash held a teddy cyclops under her shoulder

...
You're... holding that monocle awfully close to the screen, aren't you?
I fear I might have misread something. Is Smoulderdash, the Skylander comprised completely of fire, holding a teddy bear?
I guess.
II

"Man, evenings to unwind just don't come often enough."

"Yeah. Unfortunately that's just part of the job of bein' a Skylander I suppose." Wash Buckler remarked.

That is where you're mistaken. Unwinding is not in the Skylanders' job description. It's to defend Skylands and come from a game that is actually fun, and not goddamn Trap Team.
III

"Yeah. It's almost like back home." Star Strike said. "Only..."

Hey, remember the days when most Skylanders said next to nothing? Though I like Star Strike a lot (Star Strike was the best thing to happen in Swap Force, because 1.) Space 2.) That goddamn reflector.)
IV

But look! You forgot something!
Did I?
Yes, right here, on this sheet!
That's... Long as f*ck.
It's my list of terrible dialogue to attempt to start angst, but fall flat on its face half way.
I see... Move aside your hand. I can't really see it...
Number three-thousand-four-hundred-ninety-five 'Just like my never explained homeland'
...
Yup.
V

"What's your home like, anyway, Star?" Trigger Happy asked.

Because I'm sure you're DYING to know!
VI

The gun-slinging gremlin simply shrugged. Wash Buckler glanced around, and saw a shooting gallery hosted by a Mabu. "Hey, Trigs, I bet all my doubloons you can't get a perfect score on that." he said.

Greetings, humans! My name is Satan, and I will be your host for the remainder of the evening. Today we are looking at writing excuses! Now as you see here, we have the writer making an attempt to write out the two characters of little to no relevance to the story. They thought they were sly, but they were not. Now you too can catch these sad attempts to take out
characters. See femikol's Ruby Wing: Dawn of A Deity for an example!
Oh, that cancelled thing? Please don't remind me of it. Actually, that deserves to be sinned. Someone, plea-!
VII

Context: Trigger Happy shoots his guns at a target game.

But one of them decked Star Strike right in the head, knocking her over and knocking her hood off

And thusly, the story unraveles.
VIII

"I-I'm fine, perfectly fine!" Star said, sounding panicked. Worried about what her friends have seen, she actually began floating away from them. "I'm perfectly normal, yes, bye!" she said as she suddenly ran off.

*Sigh.*
*Sigh*
IX

"Star Strike?" Wash Buckler called out. "Star, where ya going?"

"I'll go get her." Smolderdash offered.

The floor is yours.
Why thank you. Let me grab a top hat, a monocle, and a fake mustache. Thank you, now let me warm up my voice. An Englishaccent is no easy task. So Me Ri La So La Ti Do!
If one were to replace 'Star Strike' and 'Star' with 'money' and 'her' with 'some', you'd get the basic formula for Activision's next Skylanders game.
X

Smolderdash gave the teddy cyclops to Wash Buckler and left, using her Smolder Dash to go after her.

*claps dramatically* I must give props to the author for detail, but how is that teddy bear not in ashes by now?
XI

Smolderdash gave the teddy cyclops to Wash Buckler and left, using her Smolder Dash to go after her. Star had fled to out of the carnival's bounds, with Smolderdash still looking for her. She eventually found her near a shallow pond. It appeared she was looking down at it, and also had her hood down. "Star Strike?" Smolderdash called out, which she gasped once more at hearing and covered her face once more before turning to her.

Uh-huh. What the author didn't say was that they wanted this music to go over this little 'finding Star Strike Scene'.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoR7Zrcmxmw
XII

"Uh... Smolderdash, what're you doing here?" she nervously asked.

*Cha-Ching!*

"I'm looking for you." she replied. "Why'd you run off? Are you hurt?"

*Cha-Ching!*
...

"N-no, I'm fine, as I said." Star quickly responded. "Everything is fine, nobody saw anything, the fair is still-"

*Cha-Ching!*
What are you doing?
Oh, this? This, my mortal friend, is a cliché receipt. Only the créme de la créme need marks. See for yourself.
Uh-huh. Fancy mustache. Give.
Let's see... Pretending to be a clueless asshole, stating something they both know, a painfully obvious lie. Sounds right.
XIII

"Because you only act like this when something's wrong." she said. She began reaching for her hood. "What, did he give you a black eye or something?"

You see this? This is a middle finger. What, I can't bash a story for pretending I have never read a story in my life?
XIV

Suddenly, Star Strike batted her warm hands away. "NO!" she exclaimed, surprising the both of them. "I-I'm sorry, it's just that... Never mind, it's not important."

Dunno about you guys, but I always thought Star Strike to be a complete ass-kicker. Seriously. She beat Kaos in her bio. Who is this person going by Star Strike?!
XV

And... I don't look normal. That's why I wear the hood."

No, you look Emo. Which, mind you, is PERFECTLY NORMAL.
...
To a certain extent. I dunno. There's no Emo culture up here in Fairbanks. Is Emo normal down south?
Well, don't ask me.
Fine. Anyone?
XVI

Star Strike closed her eyes and slowly lowered her hood. Smolderdash's eyes widened in surprise at what she saw. Underneath the hood, her face looked very human. She had short-cut blue hair, and purple markings underneath her eyes. She was beautiful. But Star Strike opened her eyes, with a look of sadness on her face upon seeing her friend's expression.

Greetings once again! Please don't Mind my cane. We'd like to thank this author for ruining the air of mystery Star Strike had.
XVII

Star Strike fully turned around and faced her. "To my people, there's everything to be ashamed of. I'm an outcast in my own home. I-"

Oh, were you expecting an actual backstory to this? Hahaha! What are you, f*cking NUTS?! Ahahaha!
XVIII

Here. Let me add on five more sins because I don't want to read the last three paragraphs. This is a ship fic, mind you.
UR JUST A HOMOPHOBE!!!
... Excuse me?
U JUZ DON LIEK DA YURIS AND YAOIS CAUSE UR A FUKIN HOMOPHOBE AND U STOPPED JUST BEFORE THE SHIPPINGS!!1!!1!11! MOM!!! I JUST EXPOSED MY FIRST GUY!! ARE U PROUD MOM?!?!!!?!11!!
*calmly points to TwiDash folder.* More like 'I don't ship Skylanders in general'. I personally fins Zelda X Samus to be quite a charming pair. Not my go to. Not by far, but still enjoyable. And Henry and Ricken from Fire Emblem: Awakening is quite the adorable couple in my eyes. So think again.
XXIII

Total Sin Talley: Twenty-Three.
Sentence: Getting Shot In The Head! By Trigger Happy's Coins!

"Well, that was rushed and unfunny." femikol commented, surveying the final draft.
"Uh-huh." Satan deadpanned. Please, refresh my memory. Who waited until the last minute again? femikol put up his hands.
"Alright, you got me there. I just hope this doesn't bomb too badly." Clicking 'post' femikol breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that's done now. I'm gonna head back to my room now."
"All right, then." Satan replied, turning back to his laptop. "I have my own crap to do. Catch you later!" femikol nodded silently, and headed back to his room.
"See ya!"