Seeing as how this isn't on this fandom, I'll drop the link here.

mgunh1

Okay, this is critical as hell, but what the f*ck is this username?
I

"Normal speach"

-Telepathy-

Thoughts

I'm sure we as the audience could have figured this out for ourselves.
II

I stood there, amazed.

Ah, this writer suffers from the same problem as me. How the hell do you start the opening sentence?!
III

The other pokemon, a now beaten and quite unconscious Dragonite, was returned to the league champion's pokeball.

This narrator seems to take too much joy in the description of the Dragonite. Look, buddy. I get it that beating up champs is your fetish, but please tone down the descriptions, please. This is Pokémon, not Mortal f*cking Combat.
IV

The other pokemon, a now beaten and quite unconscious Dragonite, was returned to the league champion's pokeball. In my overwhelming sense of victory and joy, I ran up to him and embraced him

Him? As in him the champion? This is Lance, right?
V

He embraced me too.

This is escalating faster than my stairs, which is basically a ladder.
VI

Then he did something I had not expected. He kissed me. It was fleeting, for when he realised what he had done he pulled away. We both blushed and moved out of the embrace, neither sure what to do now. The league champion broke the strange, not-quite-so-uncomfortable atmosphere.

Oh. So this is the Gardevoir's point of view... Hoo boy.
VII

"You have really trained your Gardevoir well," he said, oblivious to what had happened,

Trained? Eh, intimate love is power after all.
VIII

"She really beat me. I've never seen such power

And you know this Gardevoir's a female how? For all I know, you haven't had a Gardevoir ever, and I shiny hunted for one, and trust me, there is no visible difference between a male and female right off the bat, and I'd assume you weren't watching the Gardevoir the whole fight to check for any particular signs of its gender, so stop jumping the gun. You'll get laid later.
IX

you defeated me with only one pokemon! All six of mine… Just wow. They say that the power of a Gardevoir is equal to how much they care for their trainer,

I have footage of what they've been up to! If you could just see this, Lan-!
X

You don't know the half of it, I thought. I sighed and wondered if he felt the same. Probably not, I've never heard of such a thing…

Which inevitably means said thing is going to transpire by the end of this story.
XI

I walked a little bit away and sat on one of the benches reserved for friends and family of the participating trainer.

Yes, yes you go mope now.
XII

Sometimes I could see the future like this, other times it was just fantasies. Or were those fantasies unrealised futures?

Yeah, yeah. We get it, you wanna f*ck him. Just ask!
XIII

At least not one I knew of. I might have had one before that time… I could still remember it now, how could I forget? I cannot remember what happened when I found them, but I remember what he did. He saved me. He saved me from me. He told me what happened, how, as a darker version of what I am now, a so-called shadow Gardevoir, I had attacked his father's shop. They had apparently tried to stop me but I was far too powerful, and my natural power had been enhanced by some sort of armour. However, he knew what to do. I had a purple crystal on my head that stopped me from acting by myself, from fighting what I was programmed to do. It worked by taking my soul and my mind and locking it deep within the crystal. However, before I could hurt anyone too badly, he threw that rock. He threw it and it hit the crystal. The crystal shattered and I was free. My released soul fought back for control, and the backlash reverted me back to my Ralts stage. I woke up some days latter and there he was. My saviour.

Bullsh*t I don't care about. This seriously feels like the writer pulled it out of their ass and thought "This'll get me my extra 200 words. Perfect!".
XIV

-I'm fine- I thought-spoke to him

Thought speaking.
XV

Also, really? We really need telepathy in here? I get it, psychic types can talk via telepathy, but if they really can't say anything other than "Fletchling", or "Mime" then what can allow them to talk normally via telepathy? Hell, why did the creators of Pokémon decide to only let the Pokémon say one word? It seriously makes no goddamn sense!
XVI

"May I ask you a question?" Nurse Joy queried. I waited for Jake to respond, but after a second I realised she was talking to me. I nodded. "Are you, perchance, a shiny? I'm sorry, it's not my place, but your red hair and blue eyes just made me want to ask." I smiled.

I honestly didn't read anything up until this, so I skipped over five paragraphs, so let me just throw in some sins just in case I missed any.
XVII
XVIII

"May I ask you a question?" Nurse Joy queried. I waited for Jake to respond, but after a second I realised she was talking to me. I nodded. "Are you, perchance, a shiny? I'm sorry, it's not my place, but your red hair and blue eyes just made me want to ask." I smiled.

No, we are NOT going there! For those of you who don't know, this is the "Not A Shiny Pokémon But Still Has A Unique Coloration That Differs From Standard Colorization" cliché, worthy of five sins. But here's something a bit more simple.

The image above is of a normal Gardevoir.

This is its shiny variant.
XIX
XX
XXI
XXII
XXIII

-That's ok. To tell the truth, I don't think I am. Shiny Gardevoirs tend to be blue all over. I just have red hair. Although, I've never seen another Gardevoir like me before, so… I don't know, maybe I am…

A f*cking tool used by the author? Yeah, I think so too.
XXIV

That's a nice Gardevoir you have there," she said, I turned away and smiled, thinking it a genuine compliment until, "How would like to trade it for my Magmortar?" Jake just looked at her

There were too long paragraph things before this, but since I have a strict policy of avoiding brick walls, I skipped to here.
XXV

That's a nice Gardevoir you have there," she said, I turned away and smiled, thinking it a genuine compliment until, "How would like to trade it for my Magmortar?" Jake just looked at her

"Jake just looked at her"
XXVI

Y'know... This story is long, and I got next to no sleep last night. Then had to drag my ass out of bed for my first day of tenth grade. And getting put into a biology class instructed by a lady who feels like a drill sergeant is kind of draining. I signed up for Hutchison, not boot camp! So if this sins review felt like it was lacking, that's my excuse.

Total Sin Talley: Twenty-Six.
Sentence: A Part Two. (Coming soon!)