We "authors" don't just "write" stories...

(I'm about to make a joke here...)

WE CONJURE THESE INTREPID FANTASYSCAPES WITH TEARS BLED FROM THE WISDOM-WEARY EYES OF FIFTY THOUSAND IMAGINARY MAGICIANS. WE PULL HEAVY DRAGS FROM THE BRUMES OF INSPIRATION WITH ENCHANTED BELLOWS, MARAUDED FROM A GUILD OF CHURLISH MYTHICAL DWARVES. VAST BULBOUS RIDDLESPIDERS PUSH THE SILKEN STRANDS OF PURE WHIMSY THROUGH HIDEOUS ABDOMINAL SPINNERETS, AND IT IS THAT WITH WHICH WE WEAVE THIS AUDACIOUS COCOON OF EXQUISITE LIES. AND WHEN IT HATCHES, A GREAT MOTH OF TITILLATION WILL AWAKEN AND ROAR, AND BEAT ITS WINGS, AND THE POWDER SETTLING DOWN WILL ARREST THE HUMORS OF AN ENORMOUS TERRIBLE OLD BEGGAR, RELAXING THE VULTUROUS LEATHERY VICEGRIP HE'S FIXED AROUND THY CAPTIVE MIND.

AND EVEN AS WE DO, WE SLIP FURTHER INTO THE FABLED BLACKDEATH TRANCE OF THE ELDER WOEGOTHICS THAT ARE THE VERY WORLDS WE HOLD WITHIN OUR MINDS, QUAKING ALL THE WHILE IN THE BLOODELDRITCH THROES OF THE BROODFESTER TONGUES. SO WE ASK THEE, THE FAITHFUL READERS, TO NOT BE ALARMED, AS THE UNFOLDING OF THESE EVENTS ARE UNERRINGLY CHRONICLED IN TOMES BOUND IN THE TANNED, WRITHING FLESH OF UNTOLD LEGIONS OF TORTURED HELLSCHOLARS, WHOSE VERY RUNES ARE STROKED IN THE SHADOWY BLACK TEARS BLED FROM THE CORRUPTION-WEARY EYES OF FIFTY THOUSAND IMAGINARY OCCULTISTS.

FOR WITH EVERY CHAPTER WE PROCURE, AND EVERY PAGE THOU HAST READ, OUR VERY SELVES ARE LAID BARE UNTO THEE. FOR THESE TALES ARE OUR COLLECTIVE HISTORIES, SCREAMING ALOUD,THOUGH WE COMPREHEND THAT THOU SHALT USE AND ABUSE THEM AS THOU PREFER. THOU SHALL FIND SOLACE WITHIN OUR WORKS, AND SHALL YET RIDUCULE THEM AS WELL, FOR THAT IS THEIR VERY PURPOSE.

Yeah, I'm done here.

(If you get the reference, well...)

The main lesson? Don't wear socks with sandals.

Wait, no, that wasn't it...

5117525 gotta stop ripping your shirt off man.

Why would I rip my shirts off? They're good shirts!

5117525 I'm guessing it's Major Armstrong.

Noooooo.... (Though he and others may or may not be making an appearance at some point...)

Try a different fandom, one with a plotline so convoluted it makes a Gordian Knot look like a normal tied shoelace.

To be fair.... I've never read that comic so I wouldn't have known

5122236 yeah, well, you should try it. It's a good story. Lotsa wierd time shit. I'm surprised Prince_staghorn hasn't seen this... He's kinda a fan of Homestuck.

5122917 I've been reading Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures(DMFA) as of late. It's also an interesting little story to say the least of it.