It's a sad fact that good One Piece stories are hard to come by. Most fanfics are discontinued after just a few chapters and looking at the rest of them it's hard to tell the really decent ones from the mediocre (at best). That's even more the case with OP-exclusive stories than it is with the MLP crossovers on this site.

So I'd like to share something here. A story that I believe to be the greatest One Piece fanfic there is... not because I've read so many of them (because I haven't), but rather because I simply can't imagine another fanmade story anywhere as amazing as this one. And having looked over at least the other "top" One Piece stories on Fanfiction.net, none of them come close to being even half as good as this masterpiece in my opinion. That's why I want to share this, because for both your sake and that of the authors I think that there should always be more people reading and sharing a truly excellent story like this. Not to mention that it's a whopping 1.2 million words and still going strong (World) at the moment of this post.

So all this said, I present to you This Bites!

Where to start... first off, it's a Self-Insert fic. Don't let that keep you away, because I swear that the protagonist Jeremiah Cross and his partner Soundbite are two of the greatest OCs I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of OCs.
Cross' origin story (for lack of a better word) of how he came to the world of One Piece is what the first chapter starts with, and it's as short as it is... okay, let's be honest, it's a crackfic. The self-insert is literally dumped in the East Blue by a B.R.O.B. (Bastard Random Omnipotent Being) because of a careless comment in a chat. But it's a crackfic played straight, and only more seriously as the story goes on. He is not magically proficient at something, he is not suddenly a badass, he doesn't even have his own devil fruit powers. On the contrary, his "real world" constitution makes him unnaturally fragile at the start of his journey. All he has is his knowledge of One Piece, a transponder snail and a mouth big enough to give Sengoku himself a migraine.

And it's absolutely glorious.

He doesn't try to hide behind his crewmates; he does what he can to do right by the crew, to pull his own weight and to stand up for not just his own beliefs but for those of his nakama as well. He doesn't have some unbelievable luck that lets him miraculously get out of dangerous situations unscathed; over the course of the story he takes more punishment than an Impel Down prisoner who made a careless remark about Sadi-chan. He doesn't try to take over the story and steal the spotlight... and if he does, it's as much for the sake of others as it is for himself.
And through all of that he manages to become a complete badass just by having the balls to stand up for his beliefs, say what needs to be said and antagonize people who could grind him into a fine paste.

But that's just the main protagonist, and there's more to the story than just him.
There's the fact that the authors have a way with words that at times exceeds the capabilities of even the anime in terms of descriptions, all while keeping it the tribute to Oda that it's meant to be.
There's the worldbuilding and characterizations, not just for original characters or the main cast, but also for side characters and places from the original, feeling like they are from the mind of Oda himself and he just hasn't revealed them yet in the manga. They made Foxy of all people into a (comparatively) deep character who actually has a clear goal and long-term plan.
There's the humor, both in the spirit of the manga and beyond that. From anime physics like actual sweatdrops forming to the mental scarring that comes from seeing Nami holding a candlelight dinner with a storeroom full of gold.
And beyond all that, there's the catharsis that comes from seeing the world and everything bad in it burn in whole new ways, with live commentary from a pair of raging jackasses that just. won't. stop. talking.

So yeah. If any of you have already found the story on your own and are following it as well, feel free to shoot me a PM to geek out about it. And if you haven't yet, shoot me a PM anyway to geek out about it because I really want to watch you discover it chapter by chapter.

And if anyone here is still not convinced, let me give you one more reason to read this story:
That arc.
They've reached it, they've finished it, and it's even greater and more incredible than the original if that was ever possible.

And just in case you're not sure what I mean with That arc...

I grinned pleasantly as I sucked in a slight breath. "Hello there, my name is Jeremiah Cross. I am the third mate, tactician, and public relations officer of the Straw Hat Pirates, as well as one of the two co-communications officers and spoilers. Maybe you've heard of me?" I took a lot of pleasure in the way the soldiers tensed up. "With me are Soundbite, my co-officer and co-host—"

"HOLLA!" the snail in question sang.

"Our sniper, Usopp—"

The long-nose swallowed audibly.

"And a small host various friends and allies who shall remain anonymous. As for our business, it's a matter of theft." I widened my smile slightly. "See, you—that is to say, the World Government—stole our archaeologist, Nico Robin from us. As such, we are here to retrieve her. In pursuit of this goal, we intend to invade the Judicial Island of Enies Lobby, defeat the Cipher Pol No. 9 Agents garrisoned within the Tower of Justice, including the famed soldier of Dark Justice Rob Lucci, raze the island to the ground in a hail of hellfire, and then be on our merry way."

I kept my smile in place as I paused, soaking in the awkward silence as everyone present gaped at me in both awe and horror.

"Ah!" I suddenly snapped my finger up. "But before all of that, I'm going to zap… you!" I jabbed my finger at the soldier on the left. "With lightning," I finished in a calm and utterly honest tone of voice.

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Only read the first chapter so far, out of sheer curiosity.

I can already tell I'm going to really enjoy Soundbite.

Thank you for introducing me to this, and I'm rather glad to see that it's also been uploaded to Archive of Our Own.

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Yays! I hope to hear more of you as you read through the story.

Soundbite has an interesting character development, likely due to literally being a baby snail (less than one year old at the start of the story). Basically it means that he starts out communicating mostly through pop culture references before slowly making more and more of his own dialogue. So if the constant references start to get on your nerves at some point, don't worry, it'll get better. And if they don't, don't worry... he's not going to stop making them, he'll just be running his mouth even more on the side.

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Did you ever catch up on the story?