What's Popping

Whaddup? What's crack-a-lacking? What's shakin' bacon? Okay, I'll stop with the cheesy intro lines and get serious.

I haven't written anything in a while. I've been in a slump when it comes to my stories, both old and new. The only story I've been working on is Ponyville Local News, and even then, I've been struggling with new ideas.

So okay, fine. I have writer's block. Not a big deal. Every author experiences it at least a few times, and I'm no different. The problem isn't that I do have new ideas, but that I don't know how to write them. In some cases, I'm scared to write them.

I think it's pretty clear that I'm not the most experienced writer on the site. My stories are filled with spelling errors, butchered sentences, and repetitive sentences. Now on a site like Fimfiction, it's completely fine to have subpar writing skills, because most people aren't exactly reading a fic expecting the next Moby Dick. I'm also not looking to become an author as a viable career choice. So on paper, I shouldn't be as nervous as I am.

However, I am trying to get into a creatively driven job, and while I wouldn't be writing books, I would be telling stories. Hell, I'm in college right now to learn about it (oh yeah, another reason I guess for my slump). So I have set a bar for myself that I try to cross. I don't just write because it's fun (even though it can be extremely fun depending on the story), but because I want to get better at storytelling.

I don't expect myself to be one of the best to ever do it. I just want to be "good." And there's the problem.

I don't think my stories are good.

I'll try to go back and read some of my stuff, and I'll cringe. I know most people generally can't stand their own work, but I legit just don't want to write another story. I always feel like I have something pretty great, but by the end of the writing process, I'll feel like I ruined it. It's not a lack of ideas that is preventing me from writing. Hell, I still have a bunch of ideas that I think would turn out great if given the right author. DM or something, and I'll speak at great lengths about all the potential stories I have bouncing around in my brain. No, it's the lack of confidence that I have in myself that's preventing me from writing.

Most solutions to the dilemna of "I don't want to put out garbage," is the often repeated response of "You shouldn't care about what others think. Write for yourself." But, I mean, it's pretty hard to ignore your own criticisms, amirite? Almost every new idea I have I either abandon or I refrain from writing altogether. Nothing's good enough for me nowadays, and I don't exactly know if I can lower my expectations so easily.

I'm sorry if this whole blog comes off as me just wallowing in self-despair. For what it's worth, I am trying to dig myself out of the hole I dug for myself. I'm constantly making notes on my own stories to see what I could do better. I'm watching videos and taking classes on how to properly create a story. I'm reading now more than I ever have before.

I'm not saying I won't write again. in fact, I can guarantee that I will eventually publish new stuff. This isn't me admitting defeat, just me explaining my situation. With college stuff coming up, I honestly have no idea how that will affect my writing. That being said, the school obviously takes priority over the next Book of Appledash chapter. I just hope that when I do write something, it could be something I'm personally proud of.

That's it for now. See ya when I see ya.