I'm too slow · 1:54am May 18th, 2022
I used to work nights on 12 hour swing shifts. I wrote Plum Jam and Bat Story during my time there, and most of the car rides home and days off were spent talking with my friend Ever Cast about Song of Seven. The work itself wasn't that bad, but the way it ate at my time was horrible. I'd blink and two weeks would go by, and I'd have very little work done to show for it. Plum Jam and Bat Story were entries for contests and were finished very close to the wire.
I came to this website to write Song of Seven. That's been my primary goal. I've since changed jobs, and I have so much free time now I'm spoiled for choice, and now I don't have the excuse of long hours when I can't get any writing done. A workweek will just go by and I'll lie in bed Friday and realize I've done nothing. I haven't written, I haven't read things I said I would read (my apologies), and my weeks are really just wasted.
The next chapter is coming along, it's about 30% done, I am finishing reading things for people, this isn't meant to be gloom and doom, but I'm just kind of tired of myself right now. I want to work faster, but I'm not meeting my goals.
No resolution, no closing thoughts, just venting. Had to get my thoughts out.
I know the feeling. I recently started doing school from home, a sort of "do it at your own pace" kind of deal, and my efficiency doing the work has tremendously increased. So much so that I typically get all my work done in a day. This would in theory mean I would be outputting stories and chapters like a madman, right?
Wrong.
I find myself sitting at my computer or Xbox all day, watching whatever interesting video happens to come up or just playing some video game. Typically one that involves trains or cars. Though sometimes I'll find myself on the game "Team Fortress 2".
And just like you, a week will go by, and I will have outputted nothing. Most of the stuff I put out, while it may seem like it took me a week or two to make, was really only done a few hours. The few hours I had motivation.
IN FACT I will often find myself flipping through different ideas trying to focus on one, which makes me quickly lose interest in writing altogether. UUUUUGH it sucks. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate everything. UGH!
TLDR; ADHD and therefore Procrastination is a b
tch.
5658220
I can attest to the Xbox. “Oh I’ll get some work done after an hour of play, I have plenty time left after that.”
Nope.
Game finished, dopamine acquired, will to write gone.
It is all procrastination, nobodies fault but my own.
I Just wanna finish the premiere before Make your Mark