Why does this always happen to me?

I want to open up to someone. I'm thinking of giving My Little Pony Gen 4 another chance. I want to try Gen 5 and Pony Life. But I feel like if I do I will never live it down. I am currently transitioning to an adult and it's not easy. I'm in a therapeutic outpatient program and I was able to open up to the other patients but it felt empty. Not to mention I have acrimonious verbal skills. You never read that last sentence. I just feel so sick sometimes.