Temporarily not reading Fimfic, am watching other show
Voidwalker: Twilight Sparkle isn’t answering their phone
Princess Celestia: I’ll call
Voidwalker: Rainbow dash and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Twilight Sparkle: Hello?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Voidwalker: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Twilight Sparkle: 'Prettiest Smile'
Princess Celestia: 'Nicest Personality'
Rainbow dash: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Applejack: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
Voidwalker, trying to convince Applejack to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Twilight Sparkle: And loud!
Princess Celestia: And grumpy!
Rainbow dash: And oblivious to reality!
Applejack:
Voidwalker: Good morning.
Twilight Sparkle: Good morning.
Princess Celestia: Good morning.
Rainbow dash: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Applejack: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
Voidwalker: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Twilight Sparkle: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Princess Celestia: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Rainbow dash: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Applejack: My moral code, is that you?
Voidwalker:
Voidwalker: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Voidwalker: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Twilight Sparkle: ... Your what?
Voidwalker: My friends.
Princess Celestia: Are they saying “friends”?
Rainbow dash: I think they're being sarcastic.
Applejack: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Voidwalker! All of your friends are in this room.
Voidwalker: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
*The squad right before Voidwalker's wedding*
Twilight Sparkle: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.
Princess Celestia: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!
Rainbow dash: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well
Applejack: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND
Rarity, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE
Voidwalker: Hewwo.
Twilight Sparkle: Hihiiiiii!
Princess Celestia: Greetings, Humans.
Applejack: Three kinds of people.
Rainbow dash: I want pudding.
Voidwalker: Four kinds of people.
Pinkie Pie: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS?
Applejack: Five kinds of people.
Voidwalker: Rules are made to be broken.
Twilight Sparkle: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Princess Celestia: Uh, piñatas.
Rainbow dash: Glow sticks.
Applejack: Karate boards.
Pinkie Pie: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Voidwalker: Rules.
Twilight Sparkle:
Voidwalker: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Twilight Sparkle: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Princess Celestia: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Twilight Sparkle, learn to listen.
Rainbow dash: What if it bites itself and I die?
Applejack: That’s voodoo.
Pinkie Pie: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Twilight Sparkle: That’s correlation, not causation.
Rainbow dash: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Applejack: That’s kinky.
Voidwalker: Oh my God.
Voidwalker, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey.
Applejack: Hi.
Rainbow Dash: Hello.
Fluttershy: Hey!
Voidwalker: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Spike: We were out of Doritos.
Voidwalker: We need to distract these guys
Twilight Sparkle: Leave it to me
Twilight Sparkle: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy: *Immediately begin arguing*
Spike, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Voidwalker: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Twilight Sparkle: ...I did. I broke it.
Voidwalker: No. No you didn't. Applejack?
Applejack: Don't look at me. Look at Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: What?! I didn't break it.
Applejack: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Rainbow Dash: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Applejack: Suspicious.
Rainbow Dash: No, it's not!
Fluttershy: If it matters, probably not, but Spike was the last one to use it.
Spike: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Fluttershy: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Spike: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Fluttershy!
Twilight Sparkle: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Voidwalker.
Voidwalker: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Fluttershy: Voidwalker... Applejack's been awfully quiet.
Applejack: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Voidwalker, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Voidwalker: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Voidwalker:
Voidwalker: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
*The squad is over at Voidwalker's house*
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Voidwalker: ... N-No...
Voidwalker, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Twilight Sparkle, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Applejack: I see a-
Voidwalker, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well I-
Voidwalker: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Voidwalker, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Rainbow Dash: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Fluttershy: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Voidwalker: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Voidwalker: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Voidwalker, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Voidwalker: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Spike, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Voidwalker:
Twilight Sparkle: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Voidwalker:
Voidwalker, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
MLP:FiM S1E1 (Minus OC) in a nutshell
Voidwalker: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Applejack: More or less, I guess...
Rainbow Dash: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Fluttershy: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Spike: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
Voidwalker: Thanks fam!
Twilight Sparkle: oh no
Applejack: *cries* I love you too
Rainbow Dash: Sounds fake but okay
Fluttershy: *A flustered mess*
Spike: can i get a refund
Voidwalker: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, but what is updog?
Applejack: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Rainbow Dash: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Fluttershy: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Spike: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Voidwalker: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Rainbow Dash: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Applejack: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Twilight Sparkle: What’s a henway??
Voidwalker: Oh, about five pounds.
Voidwalker: I CAN'T DO IT!
Twilight Sparkle, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Voidwalker: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Applejack: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Voidwalker:
Voidwalker: I appreciate it,
Voidwalker: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Rainbow Dash: Voidwalker-
Voidwalker: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Fluttershy: Voidwalker we gotta-
Voidwalker: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Voidwalker: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Voidwalker, motioning to Spike: NOT FUCKING THIS
Voidwalker: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Twilight Sparkle: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Voidwalker: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Applejack: Actually I did the math, Twilight Sparkle would have $225, not $0.15.
Twilight Sparkle: Fam I’m right here....
Rainbow Dash: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Voidwalker: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Rainbow Dash: Sorry I only have a dollar
Voidwalker: :(
Applejack: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Twilight Sparkle would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Rainbow Dash: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Applejack: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Fluttershy: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Applejack: Apply juice to what
Spike: Directly to the forehead
Twilight Sparkle: Great chat everyone
Voidwalker: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Twilight Sparkle: Wednesay
Voidwalker: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible
Voidwalker: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Twilight Sparkle: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Voidwalker: but what’s the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Twilight Sparkle: Voidwalker, they...they weren’t always orphans.
Voidwalker:
My OC's demeanor
Voidwalker: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Twilight Sparkle: Twelve, actually.
Voidwalker: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Twilight Sparkle: Yours!
Voidwalker: That's right: no one's.
Voidwalker: I made tea.
Twilight Sparkle: I don’t want tea.
Voidwalker: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Twilight Sparkle: Then why are you telling me?
Voidwalker: It is a conversation starter.
Twilight Sparkle: That’s a lousy conversation starter.
Voidwalker: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
Voidwalker, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle: How did you do that without turning around?
Voidwalker: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you
Voidwalker: What is your biggest weakness?
Twilight Sparkle: I can be uncooperative.
Voidwalker: Okay, can you give me an example?
Twilight Sparkle: No.
Voidwalker: How many kids do you have?
Twilight Sparkle: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Voidwalker: Change is inedible.
Twilight Sparkle: Don't you mean inevitable?
Voidwalker, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
Voidwalker: Do you take constructive criticism?
Twilight Sparkle: I only take cash or credit.
Voidwalker: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Twilight Sparkle: I do have a sense of humor you know
Voidwalker: I’ve never heard you laugh before
Twilight Sparkle: I’ve never heard you say anything funny
Voidwalker: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Twilight Sparkle: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Voidwalker: No! Four to five seconds!
Twilight Sparkle: Too late!!!
Voidwalker: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Twilight Sparkle: Voidwalker, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.
Voidwalker: Okay, truth or dare?
Twilight Sparkle: Truth
Voidwalker: How many hours have you slept this week?
Twilight Sparkle:
Twilight Sparkle: ...Dare
Voidwalker: Go to bed.
Twilight Sparkle: I don’t like this game.
Voidwalker: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Twilight Sparkle, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Voidwalker:
Voidwalker: fsh
Voidwalker: So that’s my plan.
Twilight Sparkle: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Voidwalker: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Twilight Sparkle: It fucking sucks.
Voidwalker: That’s not constructive criticism.
Voidwalker: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Twilight Sparkle: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
My OC's powers
Voidwalker: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Twilight Sparkle: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Voidwalker: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
My OC's Crush
Voidwalker, pointing: May I sit there?
Twilight Sparkle: That's my lap
Voidwalker: That doesn't answer my question, Twilight Sparkle.
Voidwalker: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Twilight Sparkle, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Voidwalker: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Voidwalker: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Voidwalker: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Voidwalker: i became more evil if you’re curious
Twilight Sparkle: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Voidwalker: i’m going to get worse on purpose
Voidwalker: I prevented a murder today.
Twilight Sparkle: Really? How’d you do that?
Voidwalker: self control.
Voidwalker: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Twilight Sparkle: Thank you
Voidwalker: I didn't say that was a good thing
Twilight Sparkle: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny
Twilight Sparkle, going over Voidwalker's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.
Voidwalker: Yes
Twilight Sparkle: Okay... may I know what you create?
Voidwalker: Problems.
Voidwalker: What are your goals?
Fluttershy: To pet all the dogs.
Voidwalker: No, fitness goals.
Fluttershy: To be able to fly fast enough to pet all the dogs.
Voidwalker: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Twilight Sparkle: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Voidwalker: Absolutely not.
Voidwalker: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Twilight Sparkle: What did you do?
Voidwalker: Nobody died.
Twilight Sparkle: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Voidwalker: I’m gonna need a pony skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Twilight Sparkle: Only if you also don't ask why
Twilight Sparkle: *Pulls out 7 pristine pony skulls* Take your pick.
Voidwalker:
Twilight Sparkle:
Voidwalker: This one is fine
Voidwalker: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Twilight Sparkle: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.
Twilight Sparkle: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Voidwalker: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Twilight Sparkle: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?
Voidwalker: So what do you do?
Twilight Sparkle: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers.
Voidwalker: Wow, impressive.
Twilight Sparkle: Then I'll move on to Leos.
Voidwalker: Twilight Sparkle... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Twilight Sparkle: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Voidwalker:
Voidwalker: I wrote sanitize, Twilight Sparkle.