A small story for the heck of it. · 2:40am Nov 30th, 2012
So, I haven't written in a while. This is mainly due to slight writer's bloc.
I can't seem to get anything out, and chapter 13 is sitting in a half done Google doc, crying for my attention.
So, I whipped up this quicky just to see if I can still write well enough. Tell me what you guys think.
This story is relevant to a fact that I just realized: I'm totally surrounded by cloppers, yet I don't clop myself.
So, hear we have "Jayhawk and the mysteries of the Hoofbeaters"
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Jay clicked for a new tab on his internet browser to open his personal Ponyhoof page. The statuses he noticed upon his newfeed seemed rather peculiar.
"Hoofbeat 2 is out!"
"Found a link to Hoofbeat 2. My penis waits for no one"
"Gimme dat link!"
"Everyone's talking about Hoofbeat 2, and I'm just sitting here waiting to masturbate to it"
Alright, fine. Jay confined, a hint of curiosity to his thoughts Let's find out what this "Hoofbeat" is...
Jay moved his cursor over to open another tab, and typed "Hoofbeat" into the google search bar at the top of the page. Google instantly responded by revealing various links related to Jay's search. He chose the second option, titled "Hoof Beat - WikiFur, the furry encyclopedia". Jay quickly noticed the picture associated with the article, and began reading along it until he found out exactly what "Hoofbeat" was.
"Oh...OOOOHHH...." Jay said to himself, scratching the back of his head "...well then. That's a bit awkward..."
Suddenly, a voice in the back of Jay's head opposed his thoughts Search it up. Must be good stuff
Nope. Not gonna happen Jay quickly snapped back, confident in his decision.
Do it.
NO! I've worked with those ponies!
DO IT FAGGOT!
I refuse!
Both of us know you wanna do it!
SHUSH, DAMMIT!
GIVE...
NOPE
...INTO THE NIGHT!!
GODDAMMIT IRA, NO!
POWER BEYOND CONTAINING!
SHUT IT!
ARE YOU GONNA REMAIN A SLAVE?
IRA, I....wait what?
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! GIVE INTO THE NIIIIIGHT!
...is that Disturbed?
Yeah...
I wanna listen to that song now.
Damn straight
Jay clicked the Itunes icon at the bottom of his screen, quickly scrolled down to "The Night" by Disturbed, and tapped the Enter key. The familiar guitar opening to the song quickly followed. Jay sat back and enjoyed his music for a few minutes before a knocking on his door stirred him.
"Come on in!" Jay yelled, attempting to overthrow his music. He quickly tapped his spacebar to pause the song.
After the music stopped, Jay's door opened to reveal DI standing in the doorway.
"Heya. You seen what's going on around the fandom recently?" DJ asked beckoning towards Jay's laptop.
"What do you mean, 'the fandom'?" Jay inquired, albiet certain of what DJ meant.
"come on, you know what i mean" DJ replied, walking over to Jay's bed and plopping down onto it before continuing "The bronies. I know you're part of them. I am too, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You actually traveled inter dimensionally to Equestria; I know you at least watched SOME of the show"
"Well...yeah, I watched a few episodes..." Jay admitted, sure eh couldn't lie about it to DJ forever "So, what is it that's going on, exactly?"
"Well...as most fandom, the bronies have their share of people who partake in 'Rule 34' related to the show" DJ spoke slowly, as if unsure of Jay's reaction to his words "They're called "cloppers". Fitting name. There's a newly released comic series of 'clop', as they call it" DJ stopped and stared at Jay, who blankly stared bac before realizing Dj's point.
"oh....oh, yeah, I heard of it..." Jay quietly responded, scratching the back of his head awkwardly "...'Hoofbeat 2' it's called, right?"
"...Jaaay....how did you know thaaat?" DJ stretched his words in a punishing tone as if he were revealing a secret of Jay's
"Ponyho-..I mean, Facebook. Some of my friends on there are, um...'cloppers', as you call them" Jay stammered in response, careful of his words "I searched it up, on Wikipedia, I mean. Kinda weird, if you ask me" Jay looked towards DJ, who was staring directly back at him.
"Jayhawk..." DJ spoke in a stern tone "Are you or are you not...a clopper?"
Jay's burning face easily showed his embarrassment at DJ's question "W-what?1 God, NO!" I've worked alongside those ponies, for fucks sake!" Jay shouted back, crossing his arms in anger "What about you, huh? You're still younger and more hormone prone than I am!"
"Well, yeah, I'm a clopper" DJ confidently replied in a casual tone "I just thought it'd be funny to find out if the great Gaurdian of Harmony has a little pony fetish. Mark's a brony, and a clopper, as well"
Jay was struck with yet another awkward feeling. Mark and DJ were the two people Jay knew best. He could hardly imagine what was even attractive about the ponies. He had admitted to them being cute before, but never in a way that caused amusement.
"Oiy, this is great. I'm surrounded by pony fappers..." Jay concluded, blowing a tuft of his hair up.
"Jay, don't be like that. It's of no real concern to you anyhow" DJ repleid in a softer tone "I'm still good ol' David Jay, and Matt is still Doctor Mathew Harvey. What we do on our free time doesn't define us"
"All I truly ask,Dj..." Jay said, bending out one arm towards DJ "...is that you and Matt don't bug me about it. even if you talk amongst yourselves about it, don't include me"
"Gotcha" DJ confirmed, hopping up off Jay's bed and heading towards his door "Now then. Time to tell the world that the mighty Guardian...watches My Little Pony!"
Jay stared at DJ with a disapproving face before speaking "Pssh, go ahead" Jay said in a mocking tone "It'll probably gain me more respect than disrespect"
"Ha! 'Tis the point Jay! 'Tis exactly the point!" DJ exclaimed before waltzing out of Jay's room and closing the door behind him. Jay turned back around and hovered his hand over his spacebar as the same voice came back to him.
Jay...I don't want to here about how weird I am...EVER AGAIN!
Haha...oh Ira. You're not weird. You're just fucking insane. Mainly cause you don't like ponies...
You're goddamn right I am. Fucking pony bastards make me sick...
My jimmies remain un-rustled, Ira.
Whatever...
The End
Well, there you all go. Hopefully I can get back into the groove of things, and spit out chapter 13 soon.
well then...that was different