Rewriting the First Season of FIM

Greetings everypony! It’s certainly been a while since I’ve been active on this site, but this is something I’ve been thinking about recently. I believe that very few things in fiction are completely flawless, and as with any big project, (i.e starting a cartoon TV show) there are bound to be a few bumps along the road to success. In this post, I’ll be discussing my brief thoughts on the first season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (primarily the season premiere and finale) and how I believe it should have been written. Now, I have nothing against this season at all and, though I would not call it my favorite of all time, it still has its gems; I am merely giving my two cents on how it could have been handled slightly differently.

Disclaimer: As of the posting of this blog, I’ve only seen about 2/3 of Season 1, but I believe I have seen enough episodes to get my thoughts across. As mentioned above, this post will primarily focus on rewriting the premiere and finale.

Friendship is Magic, Parts 1 and 2
As far as the episodes themselves go, I do not think there are many things wrong with overall direction the writers took with the story and concept. There are, however, two general issues I found upon rewatching them:

Pacing: Personally, I think that this premiere felt a bit too rushed in the telling of the story itself despite the fact that it was a two-parter. The resolution of certain elements, such as Twilight’s rushed “discovery” of friendship and the introduction and redemption of Nightmare Moon, seemed a bit to sudden to feel like a natural progression of the story. Although you could make the claim that it seemed rushed because the writers needed to establish several things about the show and universe within the first episode, but I believe this notion is where the problem lies. These episodes tried to establish and resolve too many elements and subplots at once and could have benefited from some separation into multiple episodes. (which I will explain later)

Nightmare Moon: Stemming off of the pacing issues, this premiere did not give the audience much time to understand and see Nightmare Moon as a viable threat. Don’t get me wrong, I think Nightmare Moon as a villain is really compelling given her origins and history with Celestia. I just think that it was a bit awkward for the writers to try and set up, introduce, and subsequently redeem said villain all within the pilot episode of the show. They tried to give her initial transformation and demeanor more attention in later seasons, but I think the season premiere could have benefited from including these elements directly.

The Best Night Ever
Same with the premiere, I do not have many complaints with the story concept or even the execution. My main issue with the episode boils down to this statement: it does not feel like a season finale. I know there were a couple of episodes that attempted to set up the Grand Galloping Gala’s reveal, but these were few and far between, with little more attention or reference given to the event outside of these specific episodes. As such, while it does mark the achievement of the Mane 6 eventually attending, the episode itself feels more run-of-the-mill than what I believe is befitting of a season finale. If The Best Night Ever was slated as a regular episode (or even the last episode before the finale) and something else took the place of actual season finale, I would not have any issues with the episode whatsoever!

How I Would Have Done It
Based on the points I’ve made above you might be asking: how would you rewrite these episodes? Well, now I’ll attempt to incorporate all of the same elements and plotlines from these episodes while making them feel a bit more natural in my version of the first season of FIM. First up, the premiere....

Friendship is Magic 2.0: My version of part one of the season premiere sees Twilight narrating the same book from the first episode, but while she does so, the viewer is treated to the scene from the Season 4 premiere of Celestia battling Nightmare Moon and subsequently trapping her in the moon. Twilight grows anxious about the monster and reports to Celestia, who brushes off her claims and sends her on a scouting mission to find an appropriate location for this year’s Summer Sun Celebration. After checking out a few other locations, Twilight and Spike eventually arrive in Ponyville, where they are treated to the wacky hijinks of the Mane 5 trying too hard to impress Twilight and have her pick Ponyville for the celebration. Overwhelmed by the friendliness, Twilight storms off and threatens to discredit their efforts by not picking Ponyville as the ideal celebration location.

The second part sees the Mane 5 apologizing for coming on too strong and beg Twilight for a second chance to see just what Ponyville has to offer. Twilight agrees and proceeds to be taken around town properly, where she sees the “magic of friendship” at work firsthand. Maybe to up the stakes a bit, Twilight gets into a sticky situation and cannot get out of it on her own, yet the Mane 5 do not hesitate to jump in and help her out of trouble. Upon experiencing how unique and fulfilling the citizens of Ponyville are, Twilight returns to Celestia with her final decision to choose Ponyville as this year’s location for the celebration. Upon hearing her student’s colorful description of the ponies she met, Celestia recommends that Twilight return to the town and learn more about friendship, which she happily accepts. As her faithful student departs to begin her new life in Ponyville, Celestia remarks on her sister Luna’s former self and, in the background, the viewer can see some of Nightmare Moon’s magical influence as she prepares for her eventual return.

Season 1: With the events of this premiere taking place, the various “standard” episodes of the season can choose from several different plotlines to develop. You could focus on Twilight’s adjustment to her new life in Ponyville and her developing friendships with the rest of the Mane 6. You could focus on the town’s preparations for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration and the hijinks that ensue as a result. You could also have episodes where the magical interference from Nightmare Moon can be the cause of conflict, leaving Twilight and her new friends to resolve it one way or another. You could even keep the episodes about the Grand Galloping Gala interspersed throughout the season, though considering how many other elements are at play, I would probably move those episodes to the next season and have The Best Night Ever be the last episode before the Season 2 finale.

The Nightmare Awakens: Now we’re on to the season finale, which will focus entirely on Nightmare Moon’s return and eventual reformation. In part 1, as Ponyville finishes its final preparations for Celestia’s arrival, Twilight grows anxious over the Mare in the Moon’s potential return while her new friends reassure her that everything will be alright. The eve of the celebration comes to fruition, but just as Celestia is about to reign in the new day, Nightmare Moon appears in glorious fashion and, after a brief verbal stand-off with Celestia, the two vanish into the night, leaving everypony to panic. Twilight decides to go looking for Nightmare Moon and Celestia herself, but at the pleading of the Mane 5, eventually agrees to let them accompany her on her journey.

Part 2 sees the Mane 6 venture into the Everfree Forest to find Nightmare Moon and rescue their fallen princess. They could go through similar trials set up by Nightmare Moon throughout the night before eventually reaching the derelict castle. They sneak in and release Celestia from capture just as Nightmare Moon appears and challenges Celestia’s rule, which sparks a fierce battle between them. Realizing that the two alicorns used to be loving sisters, she tries to reason with the dueling ponies as the Elements of Harmony materialize around the Mane 6. Just as their battle comes to a crux, the Elements react through the Mane 6 and dispel the nightmare, leaving a pitied and disheveled Princess Luna in their wake. The two alicorns reunite, Twilight realizes the true importance and “magic” of the friendships she made with the Mane 5, and peace is restored to all of Equestria. (at least until Discord returns in Season 2)

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading through my thoughts; now, I’d like to leave you with a question myself: what would you have done differently? Please feel free to agree or disagree with me on anything I’ve stated here; like I said before, these are just my thoughts on how things could have been different.