Canon's Reception

Wow... Just, wow. Canon has had the third best reception of all of the fics I've published, ever. (First being Pinkie Pie and I, second being Iron Baker)

For example, it had ten favorites in five minutes, and hasn't received a downvote yet. And the greatest part was this amazing review by CarpiniWorks:

"Quoted from my deviantART journal:

As a brony, I can validate the fact that some MLP fans can be a bit creepy. Sometimes an amusing creepy, others... "John Malkovich" tier creepy. Sometimes a "John Malkovich trying on the dresses and lipstick of your now-dead mother" kind of creepy. But then I've been told I'm pessimistic. Maybe it took a story to teach me that there's some logic behind brony creepiness. Or maybe it will? I don't know, this story's not finished yet. Not even close. But I have faith it will!

Canon is a light at the end of a dark tunnel full of purple pros and writing cliques. It's basically the perfect brony story. And I said "BRONY" story, readers. You won't be getting much MLP content out of this story... yet.

Yes, it's a "slice of life" tale featuring a brony. One who isn't weird. Albeit a douchebag, but one who isn't weird. It's too soon to call, but I think this story's gonna go places. The writing is quality and the character is the first literature brony I've read who hasn't been made into a self-insert. It's rather expertly done, and that... well, it's surprising. I haven't read many ponyfics, mind you, but Hell, I'm happy!

Whatever the plot is, I haven't the slightest clue. The first chapter doesn't do much to carry on the initial story, but what the hay, I'm game. We begin with an unnamed brony, pissed that he now has to carry home the books of a girl, now made out to be his adversary. As he carries her books to her house in apology for bumping into her and catching sight of some compromising lady places, he starts drawing some connections and similarities together, and soon realizes that she has an uncanny resemblance to a character from My Little Pony.

And... that's about it. I suppose that's what I get for reviewing a fic that only has one chapter, but whoever cares, it sure isn't me. This story needs a professional review on the morrow. And I'm just the man to give it.

Yay! Impeccable grammar. Of all places to start, I simply must comment on the amazing grammar. There was a grand total of one spacing mistake, and maybe two spelling errors in all. So far (haven't read many ponyfics), that's the best grammar I've seen in a ponyfic, yet.

Moving on from simple things, I'm brought to the description pros, which is no less than marvelous. It's not perfect, as there were a few scenes that went unpainted, but what it does describe, it does so in ways that I could discern without trouble. I never found myself confused by unnecessary sentences, and that does well to help me keep reading, without any bursts of frustration.

And then we get to dialogue, which is both believable, funny, and well-written. The "pony" character's dialogue stays true to her archetype, and the unnamed brony's is interesting and fun to read. There were a select few times when I though the "pony's" was a little over dramatized, but I'm more than willing to get around it with ease, as long as it isn't done too often.

And the story carries quite a fair bit of potential. I haven't the slightest idea where it plans to go, but wherever, it might be interesting. The central protagonist could be crazy, as the description suggests, or perhaps the universe of My Little Pony has genuinely found a way into our realm. Let's hope that it doesn't get too serious, as that could be its falter, but I can see that it definitely has me caught.

As well as that, I really like the humanization of the "pony" character. Her style is logical and intensely amusing, and even before the ending of the chapter confirms it, her description easily hints to us just who she is, without being too exceptionally obvious. Well, it was, but frankly I've seen much more obvious hints towards character appearance, so kudos on that.

But then we get to these super small nitpicks. For one thing, the main character is a Mary Sue of sorts. He's witty, smart, perceptive, treated badly, can pick a lock, etc. Mainly all the traits of the "perfect character". This IS only the first chapter, so it's more than likely that we will discover some more negative traits. But until then, a warning never hurts.

I'm also a little displeased with the "pony" character's (it's Rarity, in case you haven't gotten it by now) bitchiness. Rarity isn't a bitch. She's a "bitcher". There's a difference. She maybe just became unpleasant in this particular chapter because of the central protagonist's "indecency", but again, until the story is continued, I can't know for sure.

And let's hope that Rarity has only made this particular dress poorly as the story says, because Rarity is anything but a poor dressmaker.

I will reiterate, the story is not yet done. It's barely even started. But I'm loving it to bits, so far. I can't yet wait to see it continued, and hopefully that might be very soon, so I can start giving it a more "fair" review.

My Final Verdict = 4 out of 5 stars with a B+"

My response to this was (And yes, you'll want to read it. It has some information for you guys):

"... Wow. Most detailed review I've ever gotten... And the nicest. That's amazing. Thanks. While I admit her bitchiness was quite a bit over-exaggerated, note that this is through the eyes of a perceptive cynic able to find fault in anyone. I do agree that I overdid her bitchiness, which will probably be fixed upon the next chapter (Which, sadly, studies have kept me from writing yet... I have no idea when it'll be done.)

Also, the "MLP Universe" isn't leeching into ours. It's much more complicated than that. In fact (This technically is a spoiler, but I said it in the description), all universes are. It's a seemingly inexplicable, complex matter, and every single character in the story is from another work of fiction, quite possibly making this the most crossover-heavy story ever. Locke Holman, the main character, isn't based off of a "Mary Sue"... Whoever that is. He's based off of a very well known character; some may describe him as the cornerstone protagonist of his genre. But enough of that; I've given you too many hints already.

As for Rarity's poorness... Well, I mean... This universe isn't perfectly parallel with the others; in fact, there are multiple differences. For example, Locke's character would have had no possible way of knowing what a television is, much less have been able to watch My Little Pony on it. Also, Rarity's fake reality creates heavier comic relief - in my opinion - if she's near destitute and feigning wealthy. But that's just my opinion.

Anyway, the grammar in this fic is the result of having written it after six college essays; I might not be able to replicate it in the next chapter. But I'll try. As for the dialogue, I personally find it mediocre. Also, I've been reading The Silmarillion lately, and that's helped with the grammar and such. On a final note, this story will include many well known characters as well as some fairly obscure one. For example, they character introduced in chapter two will be quite well known for some, but very hard to figure out who it is. On the subject of figuring out character identities, this whole story will be a large guessing game; I want people to guess which characters are which throughout the story."

So... yeah. In summation, CarpiniWorks is awesome and you should go watch his profile. Also, you guys are tasked with guessing which characters are which throughout Canon. That's all for now.

PS: Emily says hi.