To my Chinese mother, thank you.... · 8:23pm Mar 7th, 2019

Hi all, it's the month of March. But not a very good month for me since this is the month my 妈妈 (mother) passed away. The 21st marks the day of her death and it's been 4 years since I was last at her funeral in South San Francisco. So, I just wanted to wish her well in heaven.

Mom, if you're seeing this blog up in the sky. I hope you'll always be proud of me no matter how many mistakes I make in life and that God is already with you.

Growing up, I'll tell you that I wasn't a well-behaved child. I beat up my other classmates in preschool, that explains why I said so many times to people I knew irl that I was violent at a young age. (No one I talked to was convinced.) But my mother still loved me no matter how misbehaved I was. She understood that I was kind on the inside and that I needed to let that side of me out. My mom may have been upset at times when she had to put up with a mentally disabled kid like me, but she always cared for me nonetheless.

In my eyes, my mother was a warrior by heart. Just like I am now, I'm glad to have her spirit.

My mother and I barely argued, but to me, she was a really wonderful role model. And still is now. She taught me to love myself, be strong mentally, not to jump to conclusions (though I have a hard time with that), embrace my talents such as singing.

IRL, my mother had a melodic singing voice. 我爸爸她说过唱歌好好听。

~CL~

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Phoenix Heart 27

Phoenix Heart 27 #1 · Mar 7th, 2019 · 1 · ·

I am sorry this month is a hard one for you. My sad month is September. A friend who I loved like an older brother was viciously taken from this world in mid September 2012. To commemorate his memory as well as a little healing mechanism for myself, I record, edit and upload a video of myself singing a...generally (completely in my feels) song online. It helps a lot though...sometimes when I'm alone, I think of him and I do cry. I cry for my friend who only lived 17 years (to my at that time almost 15).

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