hi. it's been awhile. · 5:19am Mar 5th, 2018
hey guys, look at that, i really didn't think i'd be coming back. even earlier today i thought i'd just make a new account or just hang in the shadows and not make a new account at all. i really didn't realize how much i missed being here, however....
a few things i should establish:
1) my first story, the one about the cutie-mark crusaders, will be deleted shortly. honestly? it was really, really bad. and the fact that i just left it unedited and unreadable just goes to show that it really should be dealt with. i may in the future write a similar story, but i doubt it as the cutie mark crusaders got their cutie marks already, so there isn't really much of a point. please dont be sad about it, because honestly that edgy, dramatic load of teenage hormones realllyyy isnt worth it. i will save it for myself, so it wont really be gone, at least for me. it's a learning experience, and i know that shunning my old work completely won't help me improve.
2) i left the fandom, and the show, for a while. honestly? i don't think i'm past the 4th season even, or maybe it was the 5th season. i honestly don't remember. i left for multiple reasons. i just grew out of it, some more... distasteful parts of the fandom were really showing their heads and i didn't want anything to do with it, and i just got insanely busy, and also just incredibly sad along with that. i may have been just an edgy teen then, but after doing some growing up, sometimes the rain clouds just don't go away. and i know that's a cheesy way of putting it, but i don't really feel like going into depth right now.
3) what brought me back? i don't really know. i just wanted to re-watch the series, finding out that it had a few more seasons and it would just feel sort of nostalgic. that's all. but as i started watching, i really remembered why i liked it in the first place. it may be just a kids show, but its so charming and, honestly just makes me happy watching it. i could use more happy things right now anyways... but anyhow, i just began debating in my head, going back to it all. and while i cringed inwardly at myself, i still made the choice to view some fanwork and watch the first season all over again. i took a look at this old account and just... smiled. i feel so much older, but it's only been a year since i last logged on, and only two since i've posted anything! that may seem like such a long time, and it is, but sometimes i feel so much older, in a tired, thousand years old sort of way.
4) i'd like to give special thanks to those who've stuck around, those who still care, those who made me smile back then when my head was less clear and when i was a sad little grumpy troll back two years ago. i wont change my user for now, so regrouping can be possible, but its in plan, because heh... the name doesn't suit me anymore. don't know what it will be, but i'll post a blog before actually changing it. i'd like to also thank the better parts of this fandom, the ones who just like a show and don't start wars over it. thank you for being the part to bring me back instead of the part that chases me away.
5) last point, i swear. i just wanted to thank an account specifically. i don't know them, and i don't believe i've ever seen them before, but they helped. as i was searching my account (not logged in, of course) just going through it, to see if there were things i needed to address, i found their comment on one of my more recent stories:
Oh my God, I didn't check before I started reading and now I'm so sad. Please please please don't tell me this story is dead, it is way too good to not finish
this comment was made by Natedogg2006, and while not significant at all, it just made me want to come back to this account specifically, to continue the stories i'm still semi-proud of. while there's probably other comments in places i haven't searched, this was the one that really hit me, and i thank you for helping me get through my awkward bubble that i wasn't sure if i wanted to pop, heheh.
well, it's good to be back, and while i can't promise a regular appearance, i'm 100% sure that this won't be the last blog. i love you all, and i hope you can forgive me for disappearing so suddenly. i'll make it up to you guys, i promise :)
Welcom back!
*smiles*