Hi guys

I have always liked peoples opinions about any thing about my stories

Comments

[morrisonmatt32]

hi my name is matt and can you help me out in my story the name is Pokemon and Ponies here is Ch one so can you help me please.

Pokemon and Ponies Ch1. The begin of the story

{Lee is a pokemon trainer with no mom and no dad in

his live is sad one but night Luna came to him in a dream

and give a chosen his world or Equestria what will he

chosen? This is where the story begins}

One day Luna was doing some research on other

dimensions wind one get to her this world had one

human that got to her he had on a brown shorts on with

a white t-shirt on with two blue gloves on and two red and

blue shoes on with his pokemon team on him. Lee had

enter a pokemon tournament where the price was about

5,0000 pokedolls to the winner of the tournament his team

is a Swampert Staraptor Espeon Aggron Krookodile and a

legendary dragon pokemon Kyurem he was now as the

one hit guy in the pokemon world. Back in Equestria

Luna had see the human was not happy and what to know

why he was not happy but she had to what into he was a

sleep at night so she watch him in the pokemon

tournament. Lee was in the last round of the tournament

it was a full 6 on 6 pokemon match lee had out his

legendary dragon out Lee said Kyurem use dragon claw

and end this match now and it did the other pokemon was

a Flygon and Lee win the pokemon tournament and he

told his pokemon thankyou for battle real hard for me

ok. Later that night after the pokemon tournament Lee

had wind home to his treehome in Equestria Luna had see

his home it had one thing in it was a sleep bag in it and he
cry because he was sad and along. Luna see this and

she had seen and she what to know about this one

and then she wind into the dream world and she said hi

are you Lee and why are you sad? Wind Lee heard this

and said what are and what are you and where are you

then she said my name is Princess Luna i am Alicorn

pony and i am in Equestria i am talking to you in your

dreams Lee and what i see why are you sad? Lee said

i don,t know my mom and dad because they left me in the

hospital wind i was born and that is the story that is why i

am sad and alone in my life Luna. Luna said Lee i give

give you a chosen your world or Equestria Lee then Lee

said how do i know you are not lining to me Luna then

Luna use she magic in the dream world then Lee said

i chosen this Equestria you are talking about but how do

i get there Luna? Luna said i will use a magic spell and i

came to you Lee in the morning ok Lee and what pony

do what to love here Lee they or earth ponies a unicorn

ponies or a pegasus ponies but not Alicorn ponies ok.

{wright notes if you like this please tell me more to come

in Pokemon and Ponies}

[Godric The Radical]

456152
I just have to say a couple things be careful with grammar and how you form you sentices. You have to be careful with how you word your sentence. but you need a professional help so try an ediot.

[morrisonmatt32]

456247 I know that my Grammar is bad that ya i asking of help here so you saying i need to ediot it but how?

[Godric The Radical]

456269
I am say that you should talk to some one a little more expericed than me

[morrisonmatt32]

456356 like who?

[Godric The Radical]

If you join ether one of these groups
Proofreaders and People willing to proof-read
Looking for Editors
when you have joined ether one you go to there list in the inscrutions and PM them
They might help you it depend on how crowed everything is

[morrisonmatt32]

457482 ok look and thank you for your time