READING -'The Shippers Cometh' by Jay David (ft. Cherry)

So I went to Cherry's house today and we decided we'd do our first reading! We didn't want to spend too long reading so I just picked a short story with a high rating, I'd never read it before and it looked funny so we went for it. Personally I thought it was great, Jay David is a great writer so his stories do have a tendency to be completely and totally awesome. If you haven't read this story yet, I recommend you do before reading this post to avoid spoilers.

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--The story begins--

It was a scene worthy of a postcard, the kind of moment you just knew was about to have something come along and interrupt it.

Ha, me.

Apple Bloom tore across the grass of her home, followed swiftly by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Wait, who's coming?
I- I don't know...
Oh, okay.

Eventually, they made it to the doors, with Apple Bloom opening it quickly. She and the others darted inside, before closing the door behind them.

The doors of what?
Her home.
What home?
SHE DOESN'T, SHE'S NOT AN ORPHAN- LIKE WITHOUT A HOME, SHE'S NOT HOMELESS!
Oh, oh wait, she has a house. Oh wait, Applebloom?
Yes!
Yeah she has a house, I thought it might be the barn... do they have a barn? They have a barn.
She doesn't live in the barn...
She could do! I'd like to...

"Do...do you think...?" Sweetie Belle started.

The race has begun, we must run fast...

"Oh..." Apple Bloom began.

"...We're just..." Scootaloo continued.

"...Chilling?" Sweetie Belle ended.

Wait, did they do that as a threesome?
No, they all did different bits.
So they didn't do it as a threesome?
Do you want me to-
NO NO NO, LIKE THEY DID IT AS A THREESOME LIKE ONE, TWO THREE?
Yeah? I mean they're not doing it as a threesome...
No, not like doing it as a threesome.
The "oh" was AB, the "we're just" was S and then "chilling" was SB.
Yeah, I know, I was asking if they were doing it as threesome, which they are.
Okay then...?
Yeah. Threesome.

youthful troublemaking

I thought you said 'urethra'.

--The time on the recording was 4:20--
Whaaayyy, it's 420. Sorry.

"Well, looks like ah'm gettin mah answers this way then!"

That seems dangerous, like "Oh, oh girls, what's coming? Why have you been running? No? Okay, well I'll just fucking walk out then, have a nice fucking time in the- the monster streets."

On the other side was a pony, a stallion, smartly dressed in a business suit, and bearing a very serious expression.

Is it student loans?

--Random dialogue--

I'm going to burp again... the deed is done.
It's all being recorded.
It's okay, I'm in charge, this is my- you're the leader.
I'm the leader. I'M THE LEADER!
I'm the hero! (in a horrible impression of America from Hetalia's voice)
I'm the hero! (in a worse impression of America from Hetalia's voice)
I'm the hero! I'm Rob De Niro!
I'm Dad. "Hi Hero, I'm Dad", ha ha! Go on.

Applejack's head snapped in her sister's direction

What?! What did you say?!
"Applejack's head snapped in her sister's direction"
Oh, oh my god! I thought you said: 'Applejack's head snapped at her sister's erection

"Ah...ah'm sorry sis! Ah just...it just happened!"

You are very good at voice acting.

Raising her hoof, Applejack rubbed her temples a little.

Thought she was gonna just raise her hoof to just punch her in the fucking face!
Bitch, get slapped!
Sorry.
It's time to get slapped!

Now that this has happened, Miss Apple Bloom, and the colt...

Is a colt a male... baby?

clearing his throat and getting the attention of everypony else

*coughs loudly*

As Ember struggled, breathing fire in every direction, Spike just looked over to his new audience, before shrugging his shoulders.

He's like: 'Well... she's hot?'
She is hot.
So hot.
You haven't seen Ember yet have you?
Yeah, I fucking have! She stuck it to her Dad!
Yeah, okay.
She's my fucking role model, bitch knows how it goes!
...okay...
I like dragons.

Here, Applejack softened her expression, trotting over and placing a warm hoof around her sister, bringing her close.

"Bitch, I'm a lesbian."

--After dialogue--

Who does AppleDash, cos they did that running in the leaves?
Huh?
AppleDash.
What about AppleDash?
Cos they did that running in the leaves. Um, Appley. Applety? Apple tea!
Oh, RariJack.
Apple tea! I drink apple tea. Um, RariJack, because they had the rain time in Twilight's house.
Yep.
Um, Ap- TwiJack?
TwiJack.
Applelight?
It's TwiJack.
TwiJack... they don't work. Um, PinkJack... ApplePie? Apple pie! Um, I mean she's more like a mother to her, I think... Have you got eyebrows?
Have I got eyebrows?
Yeah, lift your hair up... I don't think you do... oh yeah, MOVE AWAY FROM ME!

AppleFly? FlutterJack?
I think it's FlutterJack.
FlutterJack... I don't know why they're shipped.

I am now going to review the story I just listened to...
"The Shippers Cometh".
"The Shippers Cometh". All-in-all... it was full of adventure. She- there was hardship, and there was a nice sibling moment which warmed the hearts of thousands. How many people have read this?
...2,672...
That warmed the hearts of 2,672. Applebloom was voiced very well, Scootaloo too, Applejack was voiced very well. I wish, this isn't a criticism on the writer because it's a good thing they didn't do this, but I wish there'd been more swearing because if I was told these things I would have been saying 'Fuck', y'know? I liked Ember, she doesn't deserve to be with that sleazy little wimp boy. Other than that it was a great story, I think. I felt like I knew what was going on the whole time, which was nice - not common. I hope the writer makes more.
They've made 300 stories.
Well... okay. The last thing I have to say, out of all the ships, AppleDash is the better one.

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Sorry this was so long, I really didn't think it would end up this long for such a short story. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed our first ever reading and I hope you stick around for more!