MLP: A Race Against Time - Nostalgia Critic Stardust, Part 1

[Insert “Nostalgia Critic” opening theme]

Stardust Balance is inside of his bedroom, sitting in a desk chair, and wearing his usual attire (cloak and fedora), along with his old pair of glasses.

“Hello, I’m the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it, so you don’t have to… (sighs) I knew this day would come eventually, especially since I found myself binge-watching the show on Netflix… and I hate myself for making that stupid poll in the first place!

“However... I’m not going to disappoint my fellow viewers, so without further ado, let’s take a look at a movie that makes the live-action Jem and the Holograms movie look like a f****in’ masterpiece… this is Equestria Girls, otherwise known as one of Hasbro’s biggest mis-”

His phone suddenly starts ringing, so NC Stardust picks it up.

“Hello? Yeah, I’m doing the review for the Equestria Girls movie… huh? Really? No, seriously, you’re not bulls***ing me or anything like that, right?”

Some angelic “Hallelujah”-type music plays in the background as a relieved Stardust hears the response.

“Thank you so much for calling me! Phew, I must have saved myself from having to watch something that makes Son of the Mask look like a piece of art… alright, I got it… thanks.”

He takes the Equestria Girls disc out of the DVD player, places it in front of him, and proceeds with using a hammer to smash it into several pieces.

“Okay, now, where was I? Ah, right… let’s take a look at My Little Pony: A Race Against Time.”

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My Little Pony: A Race Against Time

Chapter 1: Prologue and Tanked

Author's Note - "My Little Pony" is owned by DHX Media and Hasbro.

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“We open up to a cloaked and hooded pony - our villain of the movie - that’s standing in front of a fireplace as he discusses what seems to be an evil plan with his reluctant servant, a kind-hearted Earth Pony named Casey.”

You may think that 'friendship is magic', Twilight Sparkle," laughed the pony. "But you've never encountered my magic!"

Then, he began to let out an evil laugh.

"Ha-ha-ha... ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

NC Stardust frowns, and turns his head to the side.

“Uh, just to be clear, this is still about the world of talking ponies that was created for kids, right?”

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NC Stardust - “So after the usual logo seen in every season 7 episode thus far, we see the Mane 6 and others currently on a train that’s heading to the Crystal Empire.”

With the doors now closed, the Friendship Express began its journey from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire.

"Are you alright, Starlight?" Twilight asked, looking at the unicorn sitting next to her.

NC Stardust - “For those who don’t follow the show, the beautiful purple alicorn is Twilight Sparkle, who is also the Princess of Friendship, and voiced by Tara Strong… you know, the also-very-beautiful voice actress that’s pretty much been in every freakin’ show you watched as a kid growing up in the 90s, such as stuff like Rugrats, Fairly Odd Parents, Hello Kitty… hell, she was even in stuff like Ted, Drawn Together, and the last season of Samurai Jack!

Cuts to Ashi’s final scene in the series finale of Samurai Jack

“Damn you, Genndy, for making the show end on a bittersweet note, and pulling a Gurren Lagann on us!”

Goes back to a shot of Twilight talking to Starlight in the train.

“The unicorn sitting next to her is Starlight Glimmer, voiced by Kelly Sheridan, whose known for her voice-role as Barbie in those direct-to-DVD movies that you always saw commercials of as a kid either on television or during the previews of a DVD.”

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"Yeah, but I'm just... feeling a little nervous of seeing Sunburst," admitted Starlight, who was referring to her long-time childhood friend that had knowledgeable skills in magic "I haven't seen him since we first met Thorax there."

NC Stardust is eating from a candy bag of Starburst as he says, “As much as I ship her with Sunburst, I can never seem to remember what their actual ship name is… eh, maybe it’ll come to me one of these days.”

Before Starlight could reply, however, a certain blue Pegasus was starting to chuckle. "I don't think she's feeling nervous at all, Twilight."

"Well, what else would it be, then?" asked the Princess of Friendship.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Twilight? I thought you knew everything!"

While Twilight appeared confused, Starlight began to blush. "Don't be silly, Rainbow, I don't-"

"Ooh, ooh, I know, I know!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, an Earth Pony that should never be questioned.

As he takes out a shot-glass and a bottle of flavored whiskey, NC Stardust says, “This is Pinkie Pie, who is pretty much the kid-friendly pony version of Deadpool, and voiced by Andrea Libman, another lovely voice actress that’s been in shows like Madeline, DragonTales, Maya the Bee, the Pac-Man show on Disney XD…

“Oh, and the reason for bringing this [the shot glass and whiskey bottle] out is because I’ll be taking a shot everytime Pinkie does something that only a pink pony like her can do.”

She took a deep breath, and said, "Starlight is starting to discover feelings for Sunburst, so she isn't feeling nervousness in her stomach, it's butterflies because she likes him!”

NC Stardust pours himself a shot, and takes it.

"Plus, I'm sure that she knows that he knows what we didn't know until we actually did know about her and Discord and Thorax and Trixie saving us from that evil queen and all of the Changelings becoming good-"

NC Stardust takes a second shot.

“But she's also worried about what will happen when he finds out that she had us all under her mind-control, or that your castle almost became a water-animal park, or even when she tried creating a spell that would erase Hearth's Warming Eve forrreeevverrr!"

NC Stardust takes a third shot, and groans as he says, “You’re killin’ me here, Pinkie!”

"But, um... haven't you known him since you were a filly?" asked Fluttershy, a shy and yellow-ish Pegasus that represented the Element of Kindness.

The song “Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore” starts to play, but Stardust begins shaking his head. “No, that joke’s staying in Bronies React, you understand?”

"Besides," said Applejack, suddenly showing a sly grin. "You're just like the way Twilight was when she bumped into that one guard at Canterlot."

NC Stardust sighs, and cocks his gun before saying, “Just making some necessary preparations, folks.”

"I told you I don't know anything about him," said Twilight, who was starting to blush, as well. “He was just-

A pony that reminded you of a person you met in the other world that Sunset Shimmer stays at now," interrupted Pinkie Pie. "And that danced with you at the Fall Formal, as well as hugging you after you won the Battle of the Bands to beat the Sirens-”

NC Stardust take a fourth shot.

"But then he met the other you that's not really interested in him, so after talking to Sunset, he decided to accept the fact that you're probably never ever going to come back, unless the crack in the portal that's releasing energy beams does make you come back!"

NC Stardust takes a fifth shot, and says, “Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t going to be the last one I take?”