Unsure

I never know if i am doing the right things in life. I make decisions to think that they will make my life a little easier and happier. I guess it pretty much started when I was twenty five years old when I came downstairs and found my father spiritual gone. He was still alive but holding on for dare life. When the Paramedics came in they somewhat treated me like a kid, I'm not sure if it was because I'm short and I looked like one at the time. I know they were doing their job quickly and professionally just made me wonder if that's how all people saw me. After the Paramedics took my father away to the hospital, I had to call my Mother and tell her what happened. She left her job to go to the Hospital where he was pronounced Deceased.
Today I still have to work around my depression, Anxiety, and Post Traumatic Syndrome Disease. They are no fun to have, No matter how things are going something in your head switches and you can't control that switch. I daydream a lot about what could of been instead of what should be. I've always helped people when they need help and now I feel alone even though I am not. I'm not sure if i was expecting something in return for helping them, always assumed something good was going to come my way.
At the end of July I moved from where I was living because I felt like somewhat of a prisoner, I was helping a good friend out with his brother who had Cerebral palsy with some brain damage. It came down to not having some what of a life. I wasn't allowed to have friends over. I had a curfew and if I didn't come back before that time I was locked out. It made me feel like if i wanted to go somewhere I had to bring a over night bag. I moved in with some friends. I don't know if I made the right choice, Yes I feel free but I always feel like I am letting people down. Its a struggle because I always care about what people say and think. I am not sure why.
I'm Great full that My friend Michael and his wife have let me move in, I don't know how I could ever repay them. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal. Sometimes it doesn't feel like anyone is rooting in my corner. i'm just hoping I didn't make another mistake and I have to figure out another place to go. I hate the feeling of uncertainty. I doubt anyone know a way to ease that feeling away? If you do please let me know. Sincerely AENDI