Starting Fresh

So, as many of you know, I was on here before desperately trying to cling to a fake life that I had created for myself. I honestly despised living and hated waking up in the morning knowing I was too cowardly to say anything about it. So I withdrew myself from all of that and left the site in hopes of learning to love and accept myself again. It hasn't been an easy journey but it's been one that I've needed.

I joined a group on skype called "The ColtCuddlers" and met a bunch of amazing people. Now, these individuals accepted me as one of their own and openly gave me a place among them even though I originally did not belong. I was a newcomer, fresh meat as you will, and yet they made me feel welcome and as though I had a place to call a 'safe zone' again. It was in this chat group that I found the man that I'm with now, Badger. He has been my rock, my best friend, my honest to god saviour with all of this. I'm not the easiest person to date, I'm rude, I am usually terrified of talking one on one, I'm severely depressed and I'm just a bitch, honestly. But yet he sees through that and he chose to love me. To let me into his life and share it with him. You know that feeling of home that people talk about in romance movies and novels? The one where the person just honest to god knows that they've found a little piece of home in someone? That's what I feel talking to him and I know that it'll grow stronger when I see him in person.

I'm still a suicidal, depressed, misunderstood brat. But I'm getting better, slowly. Nothing happens all at once like a miracle. It takes time and it takes patience and understanding and honest to god hard work.

But with him beside me and my friends behind me, I know I'll be okay.