Story idea (Belle: Zero) edited 2-6-2017 · 12:28pm Jan 27th, 2017
A/N: Another fanfiction story idea loosely inspired by and in the same vain as Project DarkFox's There's Something About Tails and Anime Adventure: Ranma's New Life by Tutcat (et al). Ranma Saotome, an aluriphobic martial artist of the whirlwind dragon school of martial arts (or similar) finds himself in a world of magical talking ponies... with some inspiration from Cogsworth Wingthrop
Belle: Zero
By Everglue Horace
It had to have been something Akane had fed him. Some kind of late acting poison. He wouldn't have been surprised if this place he was a cold circle of hell considering all the monsters he had encountered of late. If this truly was hell, it was definitely warmer and brighter than he had imagined. After all, Ranma Saotome had seen some scary looking monsters throughout his career as a wandering martial artist.
He had fought many dragons, giant monotremes, demonic pandas, fawns, witches, imps, ogres, trolls, bird winged deity’s and the like, but nothing had prepared him for a world filled with magical talking ponies... except that one battle with Shussemaru, but that ugly ass mule had it coming. And, then there was the time Ranma was kicked in the head by Sentaro's horse before he decided it was a good idea to learn the craft of Martial Arts Tea Ceremony... and perhaps there was even that time he cracked his head open on a rock when he slipped into the Tendo's koi pond.
In all fairness, durring the most recent unlikely incident to prepare him for this moment, he had amnesia for a short time. While on the mend (after his fall into the koi pond, naturally) Ranma thought he was a girl named Meagan. A girl who believed her magical pony friends used their double rainbow bridge to bring teddy bears and chocolates for everyone. Anyway, the point is, at the moment Ranma was quite lucid. And, for all the sanity it provided, being a wandering martial artist was slightly more believable than being a tween aged girl obsessed with Starla and the jewel riders. Not to mention this place was definitely not the Tendo Dojo.
Taking stock of his surroundings, he was clearly in the room of someone who liked purple. There was a lamp, a clock, a dresser, a bed, a window. Ranma didn't particularly care much about anything else in the room the moment he noticed the window opposite a door. He really didn't care much about window treatments, stuffed ponies, pictures of technicolor ponies on the walls, bed skirts, wallpaper, or anything else that wasn't an obstacle to his escape on this moonlit night. Granted, the open book and bloody sigils drawn over the bed's headboard would probably be something of interest to contemplate if he wasn't already light headed and nursing a nose bleed after pawing himself in the snoot.
'dafuq did I just eat?” Ranma asked as he tired to sit up awkwardly in the western styled four poster bed. Awkward, because Ranma could honestly say he did not expect his elbows and feet to bend quite the wrong way he found them maneuvering as he tried to get up on his feet... all four of them. Although hooves would be more appropriate. “DAMNIT AKANE! I knew there was something fishy about that curried rice.” Konnyaku indeed! She probably used rattlesnake eggs again, that horse. On second thought Ranma wondered if it was the cabbage soup, unlikely as it was he knew it probably wasn't the imported sake from Lampwick.
Ranma toppled onto the floor and landed on his head. “OW!” Yep, the pain throbbing through the horn shaped knot on his head confirmed it once again. Definitely not the alcohol. Besides, his cast iron stomach was reinforced by amazon magic, he could handle more than a little fire water. Not to mention, one of the added benefits of ingesting the phoenix pill was the increased tolerance to pain.
“AUGH! Why does it hurt so bad!?”Ranma whined, as he tried to grab onto the horn shaped knot on his head, the rest of his body now tangled in purple bedsheets. Directing his ki to the site of the injury, even unconsciously, shouldn't have hurt him this badly. Hell, he'd fallen on head head dozens of times and it never hurt this badly. “Oh gods make it stop.” the paw, hoof, mitten like things that had replaced his hands grabbed onto the knot poking out of his head while Ranma attempted to stem the flow of ki that had welled up at the site of his injury to repair the damage.
One thing was certain, he definitely didn't want to touch the tip. Ranma had already learned that lesson the hard way, when he injured the frog of his hoof paw-thingies. The wisdom of trepanation be damned, if Ranma had a hacksaw he'd have cut the damn thing off. Yup, A knotisectomy was what he needed at the moment and for some reason he broke into a fit of hysterical giggles at the thought of naughty-sex-tummy's.
On second thought he probably wouldn't cut the knot in his head off seeing as he'd still need fingers even if he could figure out a way to magnetize the plating of the horse shoes he was wearing. Well, At least he had figured out how to resolve another one of his immediate problems. While horrified to learn he was missing his fingers, along with much of the rest of his natural body, Ranma at least knew how to restore his humanity with eggplants.
Yes, eggplants... the solution to his problem was so obvious. Even some pony as dense and ignorant about of the modern world as he was, could come to a reasonable conclusion about eggplants, sensibly enough. Assuming the old japanese legend of the crafty witch and the nobleman's son held true. . . and he'd turned into a horse for being a glutton instead of a cow for being lazy, oh god he was glad he hadn't turned into a cow his relationship with Taro was awkward enough.
Ranma continued to laugh hysterically as his eyes glazed over with mana. While the iris and pupils of his eyes faded into oblivion with a luminescence of bone white, the knot on his head had started to glow with a faded electric green radiance of its own. The giggling pony started twisting on the ground in convulsions and fits of pain while pitched giggles filled the room with squeals of morbid laughter.
“Sweetie Belle!?” came an alarmed- well it wasn't a shout. It was something along the lines of panic Ranma couldn't really place the emotion, maybe concern mixed with panic... fear? Was that what it was. Is that what fear sounds like, Ranma had never felt it in sympathy with another creature before.
“ah-uh momma, you have to sing the sleep song before we go to sleep.” a sick smile waxed across Ranma's face, although it was more of a cheshire grin if Ranma were to be honest as his neck twisted with a pop. What the buck was he saying? At this point Ranma had stopped laughing hysterically, fit to be tied, as his neck continued to twist 180 degrees (or more) with owl like precision in order to look at the horrified mare in the bedroom door. Ranma started laughing again as his limp body started to levitate like a rag doll.
The pink unicorn who was Sweetie Belle's mother face palmed in shame. “Sweetie Belle! Have you been playing with dark magic again?” Cookie Crumbles loved her daughter pieces but this was probably too much for her to handle at the moment. The possessed entity known as Sweetie Belle was floating before her in a hastily made papoose that draped off her body like a curtain.
“MAAAAAAYBe.” the floating pretzel of a possessed pony singsonged three feet in the air as it unwound itself from the purple sheets that Ranma had caught them up in before untwisting the rest of her body like a ragdoll that had been bundled into a knot.
Cookie Crumbles sighed, she knew this would probably happen the moment Starlight Glimmer gave her daughter a copy of the Mabinoggin for hearth's warming. “And I suppose you no longer have a soul?”
“Don't be stupid momma,” Sweetie Belle huffed, “I'm autistic not retarded. I summoned a water spirit.” It was then that everything became painfully clear to Ranma, he wasn't just in hell. His body was now the plaything of an autistic unicorn.
“No no no no no no no!” Ranma Panicked “Not again, not again, I can't deal with this again.” Because the only thing worse than being an autistic pony, in a land of talking ponies, was reliving the same nightmare night horsepucky over and over and over again because of a bucking time loop.
MLP needs more Ranma fics.