Unintelligible Midnight Rants on Shipping

Nopony wants to hear me rant. But I'll do it anyways.

So, some weird pony comes up to me going: "Yo, ship this thing."

And I ponder.

For an extremely long time.

Some ships work. And some ships? They burn to the ground. But not everyone can agree on one ship. (Duh)

So, I shall discuss on the common ones, perhaps despicable, perhaps not.

PURPLE: OTP
GREEN: Like
YELLOW: Neutral
RED: Dislike
FIRE: BURN!

Let's start with Applejack (BESTPONY):

Carajack: DARK RED. It is one of the most cliche ships I've ever found. The concepts used are repetitive, and I've found them to be relentlessly mediocre. Only a few have stood out and actually made me feel something. Which reminds me. You will never see me write a Carajack story/chapter on this site. Blech. Most of the authors that have written this story often refers to flashbacks. (Which I admit, I do kind of hate. It breaks my immersion towards the story.) And it always has to be that one. The annoying, clumsy, I-dropped-the-seeds-by-dang-accident one. Okay, cool. It gives him character. But if someone is that dedicated, then why the hay hasn't any pony brought up the time when he told off AJ for not making enough cider? Besides, doesn't he have Sassaflash or something? That being said, I've read every Carajack story in existence (On this site), under the desperation of AJ and shipping. Oh, and pacing in this ship is often horrendous.

Soarinjack: PURPLE. OMG! THEY ARE SO PERFLIKEAGGGHHHSOADORABLESHIPSHIPSOHARD! The main reason would most likely be due to the billions of well-written Soarinjack stories present. The interactions between the hotshot celebrity and the best farmer in Equestria are on-point with characterisation and I often find them intriguing. Yes, it gets a little annoying when they bring 'the pie at the Gala' up, but, thankfully, it doesn't become the focus of the whole story. If I were to list my favourite fic of this ship, there would be way too much to name 'em. You'll most likely see me writing a Soarinjack story.

AppleCord: PURPLE. Believe it or not. But it seems I have jumped into this crack ship bandwagon. It is ridiculously sweet to see two species with completely opposite personalities in a relationship. They have a 'love-hate' thing going on that it just makes you squeal. I'd gladly give credit to ALL the authors who writes AppleCord well, because, damn, as little as there are, they are worth reading. That being said, don't expect an AppleCord on my page. It's too hard to write.

Flimjack: YELLOW-RED. It's a cringe-worthy ship. However, if done right, it can hit the green button. See, Flim and Flam is a con pony. What I've seen most Flimjack authors suffer from are: Characterisation and Pacing. Like Carajack, ideas become repetitive and perturbing. And, ugh, the duration of time for them to forgive, forget and fall in love is way too short and unrealistic that it rustles up my jimmies. So far, one or two has set the bar high. Honestly, I do like Flimjack. They have the potential to be in one of those 'love-hate' relationships as well, where both parties attempt to deny their feelings (Not sappy, but spiteful). I just love seeing them snapping at each other. There is a chance I might make a story based on them, but it is unlikely.

AppleSpike: YELLOW. Just like Flimjack, this is the glass vase that you have to handle with care. It's tough to find the best batch. It's not that the writing is sloppy. It just gets a little too weird for my tastes. Strangely, the best AppleSpike arises when Spike is also shipped with everypony else.

Fancyjack: RED. None has catch my fancy.

Macinjack: WHY DO YOU PEOPLE DO THIS TO ME?

Applejack X OC: As long as it's not a human/crossover (exceptionforyasmosgtastory) /anthro, I don't care. Depending on how the author conveys their story, I'll most likely ship them.

(To you readers out there, pump out more AJ ships. I am in dire need of a new story.)

Twas' then Pinkie Pie:

Cheese Pie: PURPLE. Ever since his existence, he had been the one true stallion for the pink party pony. Their partying minds think alike, yet, they share a sort-of-similar history. It is one charming and giddy relationship. Expect a CheesePie fic from me someday.

RoyalPie/ PokeyPie: FIRE! The malice with this ship is strong. His job ain't just popping balloons. Go back to Cheese, Pinkie.

Und Rarity:

RariPants: FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! Pour the worst gasoline and watch it burrrrrn. I have a discerning, yet unexplained loathing for this ship. I've always seen Fancy Pants with Fleur. That, and age gap. Isn't Fancy 40 and Rarity 20? Shudders. It's just too weird. I can't. NEVER in your life will you see me writing this ship. THIS is the nightmare fuel that repels me from your story.

Sparity: GREEN. Even if I have zero interest in reading this ship, I cherish the crush Spike holds for Rarity. It's a candy-coated love.

Royality/ RariPin/ Pokity: PURPLE. "Who they hay is Royal Pin?" you ask. Let me brief you on the wonders of this stallion. He 'loves to make clothes for his friends'. At least that's what Hasbro says. This offers the opportunities of a relationship in both personal and business terms. It would be nice, seeing that both characters have an interest in such hoity-toity fashion.

And The Cool And Awesome Rainbow Dash:

Soarindash: RED then YELLOW. I don't know what to say. It's decent (?) I don't have the heart to read any of these kind of stories, so I'll say I'm becoming more neutral towards this. That being said, this ship is indeed under construction at the moment. I don't seem to have too much of a problem writing em', just reading em'...I guess.

Macindash: YELLOW. Aw, look at your disappointed faces. (Jks) I just don't really mind when it pops out in a story. What is quite odd is that unlike Soarindash, I don't have the need to give up on the story. So, it's cool.

Oof, Fluttershy:

Fluttermac: FIRE!

I GET IT! Opposites attract. But what works with MarbleMac that DOESN'T work here? Canon interaction. Mac doesn't display ANY interest towards Fluttershy, for he only sees her as a kind, helpful friend and nods in acknowledgment at her achievements. He would not care if Fluttershy was to be taken by some other stallion. His eyes are not set on her, and NEVER WERE. If you want to reject that, then that's okay. Even then, Fluttershy's interests may not even lie on the same plane with Mac. HAY, I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE THEM TRYING TO DATE EACH OTHER. Fluttershy would probably be too nervous and Mac would be too busy thinking about other things. SILENCE ENSUES. UGH!

FlutterCord: PURPLE. Overprotective draconequus. Cute, couple interaction. Yes, please. I would love more sugar cubes in my tea.

Twilight:

Flashlight: YELLOW. Meh. Expect something. Maybe.

DISLESTIA IS ALSO HORRID! I'M SORRY!

But, everyone likes different things. I like blue, you like black. Or some other thing. So, whatever. This was just a rant anyways.

Still, what do you think of all the ships mentioned? Did I miss any? Give your input and make me happy.

Oh, and wasn't October AJ Appreciation Month or was it just me?