I Found an Excellent RPG on Steam Last Weekend

So, there’s this game that came out last weekend. I played it and I love it. Do you know what it is?

… Wha? What the heck is Undertale? Never heard of it.

He-Hey! Stop that! Dukes!

No. Geez. I’m talking about The Dwarf Run! (website)

After a long day, I felt like playing an RPG. I don’t know why, I tend to avoid those games. Hell, I try to avoid games in general. I used to be an avid gamer, but now I try to be more productive with my time.

I scrolled through Steam’s massive selection of RPG’s available (Fk you Steam, you money magnet!). When my eyes came across the above The Dwarf Run, I couldn’t explain how I felt. Only at 7.50 US$ with a 30% discount, I felt compelled to give it a try.

And you know what? You can find the most awesome things in the most unexpected places.

Picture Relevant

Why do I think this game is incredibly awesome? Let me take you through the aspects of the game that really make it shine.

This Game Rewards Experimentation and Effort

Let me set the record straight - This game is not idiot proof. You will be initially a bit overwhelmed by the lack of tutorials and the several stats that are introduced in this game and how they affect the character. Oh sure, there are a few hints here and there, but they are few and far between.

I lost my very first battle with a bunch of zombies. I’m not sing you. I started over, tried things differently, then I made a discovery! I then went back and kicked the those zombies asses without even losing a single member of my team.

The satisfaction I felt? Orgasmic.

This is the only Jontron gif I’ll use. I swear!

And you want to know the best part? That isn’t the only time you are rewarded for thinking outside the box. Several of the bosses you face will require a lot of experimentation and incredible thinking for your to defeat - And when you do beat them, you’re going to have a braingasm. (Be sure to clean your ears thoroughly afterwards.)

It’s not just mastering the combat, the puzzles are tough nuts to crack themselves. Not only do they require some bizarre thinking, but when you finally learn the solutions to them you’ll be kicking yourself in the head because you didn’t think of trying that earlier.

Two particular puzzles come to mind. In one part early on in the game, you’ll come across a door with a puzzle lock. To solve it is so simple yet I wouldn’t have thought of it unless I really took the tone of the game into consideration. I mean, when you are in a game that requires you to build a slipper-hunting robot, you really need to think like the characters you play as.

Seriously, what other game makes you build a robot to find slippers?

While this game is challenging, it never feels like it is punishing you. The game automatically saves before and after every battle. If you ever get stuck, talking to people you’ve met or reading journals will eventually lead you into the right direction (and this never gets too hard because there is a very limited amount of talkable NPCs in each area).

This game is a blast because it’s one discovery after another that doesn’t punish you for experimenting.

You’ll be making this face a lot.

The Combat

It will take a while before you master it, but when you do each match will be as enjoyable as the last.

The battles usually don’t last too long, and even on the easiest difficulty can be a little bit challenging. If you master the battle system, you can change the difficulty at any time during the game (except in mid-battle of course)!

The stats your characters have effect their performance. Such as strength which makes you stronger and increases your character’s stamina so they need to rest less often. A higher speed stat will allow your character to go first and do more with each turn (more Action Points, bitches!). Investing in intelligence will makes special attacks more powerful and give your characters more experience points after each battle.

Oh, and invest in dexterity. You MUST put in points into dexterity. If you don’t, how can you possibly hope to shoot all those scary kids knocking on your door tonight in the head?

I’m tired of your tricks, you little st!

In battle, brute strength will only get you so far. You are stuck with four characters, but your opponents are not! Later on in the game you’ll be severely outnumbered. You will have to employ hit and run tactics as well as concentrate on eliminating your enemies one-by-one. But who do you focus on first? Do you go for the powerful knight covered in head to toe with armor wielding a lot of HP and Strength? The pesky soldier archers chipping away at your health from a distance behind the meatshields? Or do you focus on the mages healing and buffing your enemies? Each battle brings new challenges that require thinking and strategy, and you can’t grind either!

Oh, and you can’t change your gear in mid-battle either, which is one of only two downsides I can think about. The other being once you make an action, it is uncancellable like in other turn-based RPG’s that let your character move (like the Disgaea series) but these are very minor nit-picks.

The Story and Characters

So, I’ve gone on about gameplay, what about the story? Well, it’s rather simple: A dwarf named Dalain Stonecrusher gets a treasure map. He recruits his father, the dwarf cleric Zenn Stonecrusher, an elf archer, Ionor, and a human wizard, Barbados. The four of them go off in search of treasure, and st happens.

Really, I don’t want to say any more, because the characters and events you come across are so bizarre and silly that I’d ruin the surprise.

The characters have all unique personalities that match those faces they have. Yeah… I feel I need to mention that. First time I saw their faces and the limited graphics, I was like

However, over time it grew on me. It’s simple, easy on the eyes, and their faces match their personalities perfectly. Zenn is a grumpy old coot, Ionor is a lovable romantic/coward, but what really gets me is the dynamic between Dalain and Barbados. They bounce of each other and give each other verbal bitchslaps that leave me laughing. Dalain himself is quite a smartass.

Even the characters they come across all have interesting quirks. My favorite being an Ogre who doesn’t catch on to Dalain’s sarcasm.

Also, the dialogue is really well written. The humor is very tongue-in-cheek, making very gentle pokes to the fourth wall and the whole game genre at times. One example is if you try to progress past a certain part without completing some puzzles, the characters will make a short quip about how they’re dead… or at least “in this current incarnation.” The dialogue is always engaging and keeps me guessing.

Oh, one more point I’d like to make - no stupid sexy women. Let me clarify. You are stuck with these four characters. Which is a good thing! They’re all lovable. One thing I really hate about games is how women are portrayed. They’re in the game, but their designs have them blend in with the game’s world. You won’t see any well-endowed women running around wearing nothing but two pieces of floss. This game treats women like people is what I’m getting at here (people).

Oh, did I just talk about their faces? That’s another thing I should have pointed out.

This Game is Easy on the Eyes

I’ll admit, I did find their rendered faces a bit surprising at first, but as time went on, the game’s artistic value became clear.

The game is very easy on the eyes. The graphics, for what the game maker is working with, look fantastic.

Also, speaking about views, there are actually three ways to traverse the map! Each have their own merits, but I find myself favoring two of them.

First, you can use the default Cinematic View which gives you a clear view of the world at an interesting angle. You get the best visual experience using this preset camera.

Example of Cinematic View

Then you have the Floating Camera. This view will move with you as you click the ground to make your character move. You can adjust the angle using the arrow or WASD keys. This is my least used camera setting.

Example of Floating Camera

Then there is my favorite - the Over the Shoulder (boulder holder) view. The camera falls back behind Dalain and you can move him with the WASD and arrow keys! This is great after you first go to an area because you don’t have to click so much to get around. Plus, you can see a lot farther away than with any other view.

Example of Over the Shoulder

Is There Any Bad?

In my eyes, this game is awesome, so I’m really hard pressed to say that this game isn’t perfect, but the reason behind that only makes me love this game even more.

For one, I’ve noticed at least three typos or grammar errors in the ten hours I’ve invested in this game. (Time I could have spent writing.)

Hey, at least it’s not comic sans.

Other than that, I really can’t think of anything bad about this game except for what minor nit-picks I’ve mentioned before. Except if you run out of arrows mid-fight, you can’t equip any more of a different kind. That drove me bonkers the two times it happened.

Oh, and the reason behind these little typos? This whole game was made by a single person! That is right. This fantastic little gem was made by a guy named Alexander Mirdzveli. If this guy made all of these models, music, programming, and dialogue by himself, then that is more of a reason I think any little blunders should be forgiven (then promptly notify him so he can fix them). This guy is working his hardest to make a game he likes, and the effort really shows.

Recommendation

I love this game. Every time I say that I get a little surprised. It’s hard to put into words, but the low-end graphics, the gameplay, and even the atmosphere this game has makes me feel nostalgic for the good old days when gaming was all about having fun. You remember those days? I think they were in the late nineties. That tagline “An old-fashioned roleplaying adventure” really nails the experience I’ve had playing this.

This game knows what it wants to be, and I love and respect it for that.

If you love good characters, funny situations, point and click adventures, role playing games, reasonably priced games, puzzles, or the satisfying feeling of overcoming challenges using your own wit, I highly recommend this game. The guy who made this really poured his heart into it and deserves the attention.

Anyone else who disagrees can suck ass.

Not really. I just wanted an excuse to use this gif.

This was not written as an excuse to use a bunch of silly gifs I collected.

Or was it?

Okay, one more for the road.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, YOU CRAZY-ASS BASTARDS!