Add On to Previous Post

Regarding the previous post I posted I forgot to mention something else. I'm still knew here ok? Sure if you look at my activity I was in this for about a month but to be honest I wasn't on as much as I wanted to. But I digress. I accept any criticism revolving around my work. I mean right here right now I don't know if I am supposed to publish my first chapter publicly so you guys can see/edit it or if I am supposed to leave it the way it is and expect you'll see it that way. I honestly don't know. I might publish the first chapter and edit it afterwards to you guy's liking if that's how it works.

Also by the way I finished the first chapter! Woo! Please read it and be my judge on whether I am fit enough to be an excellent writer here or most definitely needs work. Please be honest as well! :3