The meat of the chapter is here! Also some questions

We're onto the editing process.

But first, I must ask a question.

This thing could be gory up the wazoo, but I'm reluctant. How far can I go without increasing the rating?

Comments

[MuzaWaza]

Ask that to your proofreaders.

I don't know how many bodies you throw into the meatgrinder to actually give a proper response ^^

[DovahKaaz]

269889 I, um, don't have any pre-readers. All editing is done by myself.

[Shade_foxs]

I'm not to sure on the gore side of the mature rating, but i think keeping to to close to combat wounds ( slitting someones nick, chopping off limbs, ect.) could still be considered teen in my opinion but the rating system has to deal more with how much detail you put into it.

wish i could give examples but i suck at writing gore scenes

[MuzaWaza]

269895 It depends how much spirit you put into it and what you want the readers to experience.

A quick dialogue below :

He got up in my face once more. In his left hand he had a metal spoon and he held it to my face. He shouted again, spitting in my face. He expected an answer and I again replied with the same facial expression. He stabbed the spoon into my eye. I screamed out in pain, it was actually more of a shriek. He pried my entire eye out. ''Why?!?!'' I yelled again ''Why?!'' Blood poured from the black empty socket that was once my eye. He spat in my face and repeated the same words he always had. He went for my last remaining eye. I lost my will to live at that moment. Anything, I would have done anything to die just then so I would suffer no more. Then everything went dark.

Or you can add more gore in this by adding more limbs to the mess or whatever damage you want to do ^^

but i think adding to much gore into a single dialogue would be the bridge between teen and mature

[NobleQuickSilver]

I say low to moderate, as longs as your not ripping people heads and spines out left and right you'll be fine.

[DovahKaaz]

269964 Ok, here is something like I would put in the story. *Spoilers!* Disturbing below

He stalked towards them, reluctantly, but under his master's control. The new-born vampire smelled the all too alluring scent of blood, and his tongue snaked out to taste it. Growling contentedly, Aer lunged. His breath ghosted over her neck before his teeth sank in. She screamed and thrashed, but to no avail, nothing could break the iron grip of the predator holding her. All too soon, she was empty. Aer dropped the lifeless husk of his sister to the floor.

Still spoilers.
So, it would get a little worse, descriptions of bones breaking, details of cuts, also some brutal stuff. But other than that, that is it.

More spoilers disturbing below

The demon turned back towards the alpha member. He snarled, revealing his sharp, jagged teeth. Wasting no time for his next meal, he pounced towards the new prospect for food. The ever-wary patriarch skittered away from his attack, so instead of a solid hit, he grazed the neck of the bloodbag. The skin was torn away, revealing the luscious veins and arteries, bone and tissue. Now with more bloodlust than ever, Thanatos's servant knocked him down, fracturing the neck bones, and causing more blood to flow out. Viciously ripping the vertebrae out for better access, he feasted.

Ok, spoilerific and disturbing time over. So, was that too much? That's the unedited sequence of some of Aer's back story.

[MuzaWaza]

270043

First part is completely fine.
Second part shows a bit more gore but nothing that scares me off to much. Its actually nice to have a little action.

Viciously ripping the vertebrae out for better access as he feasted.

I think its fine. But every person has his likes and dislikes. I can envision things easily and this didn't turn my belly upside down

[DovahKaaz]

270064 Ok, I'll add a warning at the beginning of the chapter.