Requesting Pre-readers need help

hey guys its me. im actually having problem here posting my latest story but i really need your help if anyone willing to pre-readers and can edit the story here.

My latest story is called stalker: from zone to CHS and i need alot of help for anyone to pre-read this story or can edit it
heres the link if anyone wanted to pre-read it http://www.fimfiction.net/story/285043/stalker-from-zone-to-chs