Another one

Another dream. Not as intense as the last one, more like looking above myself and seeing things happen than feeling them as they are going on.l I've felt terror about things going down hill, but not panic of being alone,

It was less clear, but I was at college. In a line to see how many credits I had from classes. A paper showing the minimum for a C for each class. Sudden;y, there was a girl and boy next to me on another line. We where all moving up at the same pace. She was laughing with him, going over a college she went to before. The girl was someone who I had a crush on throughout middle and high school. In the dream, she mentioned a school she really did to. I must have looked at her Facebook page once. I didn't even remember that little bit of trivia.

Anyway, next thing I know, she is in my house with the boy. I don't know him, but he seems to be her boyfriend. They are on the couch, watching TV, she on top of him cuddling. I'm sitting across the room, hiding, peaking out from a corner. Wonderment as to why they are here, but also anger, jealousy and most of all, sadness. The rest is really unclear. Myself being in my sisters room breaking down and crying, her saying it will be all ok. Last part is me holding my childhood blanket and the girl exclaiming with joy I still had it. She practically leaned forward to touch it. Then I woke up.

I never had dreams growing up. A few nightmares if anything, so the recent increase of them is troubling for me. This one is more foreshadowing what I am going to go through most like. I will never find a girlfriend, or anyone to be with. Not ever a friend to talk to and rely and be relied on. Just alone. Can't help but think of the 'maymay', but it is true. I don't think I'm relationship material.