Hokay heres a little something i've been working on. · 4:46am Apr 16th, 2012
well it is taking me a while to update the new chapters because i'm trying to work on another pice right now called My Powerful Human: Science is Magic. (name may change in the future tell me if its lame or too much in the comments.) so as a treat and teaser I will give you the opening scene of the fic. Also i have 2 chapters of it written so this has taken a lot of my time... an without further adue.
Near the outskirts of the Everfree forest there was a slight breeze that blew through the trees. There were birds in the trees and many different kinds of wildlife could be heard in bushes and in the plains. It was generally a peaceful setting. Then that peace was broken when the wind picked up as it spun and rushed into a single area where it remained spinning. As the gale increased in velocity it created a distortion in the form of an oval shaped sphere, which warped what was seen through it. The warping grew deeper as the sphere flattened until it refocused; not to the previous view that could be seen before the rushing of the winds, but in fact what could only be described as a portal into another world.
On the other side was a male human. He had hair as white as snow and eyes that glowed a bright and pure light. It looked as though he was in a much darker room but he instead was in an open field with large trees that were alien to the Everfree, circling the field he was standing in. What lay behind him were destroyed vehicles, dead men and cloths in different areas sprawled out with a disturbing lack of wearers. The human stepped through the portal as it rippled from the strain of the passing matter. When he was fully through his eyes ceased glowing and yellow irises were replaced which rolled to the back of his head as he fainted. The portal behind him shattered creating a deafening boom and exploding wind that escaped in all directions nearly blowing down trees and scaring any wildlife left in the area. Then all was silent…
man am i really tempted to hit that submit button...
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Dede don't push the button
So, uh, you know what's funny? I wrote for over an hour to respond to your inquiry and I didn't even check your profile.
Kind of silly of me. So, is this chapter one or are there two others chapters besides this?
Regardless, I have a ton of little nitpicks (I always do and you saw what happens when I say everything) but I do see what you are enjoying about this. I definitely recognize some interesting possibilities depending on what your character can do and how he interacts with his new environment.
74793 this is only a part of chapter one. it is 4,000 words strong and is mostly background actually. if you want to revew it and the second chapter for me then that would be cool. i have no editers right now so i'm flyin' solo.
and if you will of course ill tell you my plans and what different plot points are but the only thing i haven't figured out is an ending.
its half the reason why i haven't posted. let me know what you want to do