Random Shit #1: Shadow Warrior · 1:11am Sep 28th, 2013
You! Yeah, you! The only guy that is reading this! Stop everything you're doing and go buy Shadow Warrior! Seriously, go buy it, this is the most fun you ever gonna have at killing stuff! This is like Serious Sam combined with Painkiller up to eleven!
All the different things you can do to kill the enemies is just glorious! You can slice and dice with your katana, take limbs off with precise firing from you high power revolver, fill the enemy bodies with bullets that rain down from the Uzi that, off course, you can dual wield! Go Akimbo on their asses and see as they fall to the ground, their bodies resembling a pincushion!
Use the four barred shotgun that can fire all four barrels at once to reduce those pesky demons to delicious, delicious sauce! And of course we can't forget the glorious flamethrower that reduces to ashes all your opponents, and you can have a grenade launcher attachment! Because there is no kill like overkill! And then we have the rocket launcher that can have three rockets thing, laser guidance and mini nukes! For when you really want to go postal!
And last but not least we have the ki powers! Hang your enemies up in the air for easy slicing and shooting! Send them flying on their backs with the Tiger Pounce! Surround yourself with a might shield and go berseker on the son-of-a-bitchs like the god of war and destruction that you are! Cut all the enemies that surround you with a 360 degree slash powered by your burning soul, divide your enemies to varies squish pieces with the badass named DIVIDER OF HEAVEN. And finally launch a energy blade towards whenever is dumb enough to stand in front of you like you're motherfucker InuYasha!
Screw GTA V, The Last of Us, or whatever third game! This is the game of the year right here! This gets 10/5 DIOs!
"My name is Lo Wang. Let's make a deal."
1380106
"Make peace before I turn you to pieces."
But by far my favorite quote is "a like an asshole, c like a champion." I don't even know what that means I just know it's awesome and badass.
1380174
Aye, a very badass line for a very badass game. It must be 3D Realms' way of making up for Duke Nukem Forever.
1380196
Yeah, the balance in the Force was restored with this game. I just hope we have another Shadow Warrior in the future, and that this is the beginning of a return to the days where shooters were fun.
1380200
Wurd.