Author's Commentary: The First Four Stories

The Party's Loyalty

This was a first for me in several sections. I'd never written an originalish fanfic (Those words seem counter-intuitive. D:), I'd never written a shipping fic, and it was the first story I wrote in at least five years. And truth be told, I had never read Cupcakes before this idea entered my head. I have an incredibly poor imagination, though. I was never actually bothered by anything I read. It wasn't until I saw a couple of the videos that were produced for it that I grasped the full effect of the story. Looking back, I can't say I'm all too happy with it compared to later stories. Maybe I'll do a revised edition sometime. I like the idea, even if it's been done to death (I'm assuming.),

Magic's Dawn

Oh my Celestia this is my favorite story of the ones I've done. I had NEVER expected to create a canon for my own works past the four Elements of Harmony-themed names set. This story was originally supposed to be my third story chronologically (The Party's Loyalty > Generosity's Trust > Magic's Dawn), but I couldn't get an idea set for Generosity's Trust at the time, and the ones for Magic's Dawn were flooding in.

Magic's Dawn is highly revised from my original mental image. It was only supposed to be one part, and Twilight accepted her role in the end. Literally, it wasn't until Luna's return with the book that I came up with the insanity mode Twilight.

Wait, you don't remember a book? Of course not. My original published version of chapter 1 had Luna sent to get a book, instead of going to prepare the ceremony room. I tried to fit the book in while writing chapter 2, it was supposed to show that Celestia and Luna had done friendship reports of their own in their youth, but I found it getting harder and harder to put it in, and ended up revising that part after publishing. But the version of the story with that in it was probably up for a couple days before I did the revision.

This fic is absolutely my favorite. It's the only one I've submitted to Equestria Daily. To no one's surprise but my own, it got denied. I see some of the issues they had, but I kinda irritated at them telling me to take out a line that, while incredibly easy and would take away nothing important, referenced my plans for "Generosity's Trust." Granted they couldn't have known that, but I loved that line. Don’t get me wrong, Equestria Daily is totally awesome and they do have to have standards. I’ve found so many awesome fanfics there. Not sure I would’ve found my way here if not. But until I can improve, I’m not going to submit much more to them. And probably nothing following this canon, because Magic’s Dawn is important.

I wasn't entirely certain how to go about the ending at first. Twilight could've been killed, which would just be depressing. She could've just been reverted to a baby with no distinct family. I ended up going with Fluttermama instead, partly because I feel Fluttershy can be a better mother than the other four. I mean, Rainbow Dash is out because she'd have to leave Cloudsdale. Rarity is a busy fashionista, and she laughed at the idea of watching kids in "Baby Cakes." Sure, she does hang with her younger sister Sweetie Belle a lot, but I think Rarity would have hell trying to control a daughter herself in her present form. Applejack has a lot of work to be done on Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie Pie probably would've been my second choice, but the fact that I only imagine her giving ice cream to filly Twilight be silly. Actually, Rarity probably would’ve ended up as the mother if the episode “Baby Cakes” never happened, since that was the first time it was shown that there could be births of other races between a couple of the same race, as long as it’s in their heritage. Granted that Twilight technically isn’t in the same heritage of Fluttershy, so we’ll just blame alicorn magic.

A couple things I neglected to bring up in that fic, though. Something was hinted at in chapter 1 regarding Fluttershy being pregnant, namely Rainbow Dash telling her to go on a diet. This brings up the question "So she was already pregnant with Twilight when Twilight was still alive?" That answer is yes. This can be figured out from the next part, though. Fluttershy IS still a virgin as far as I’m concerned. Immaculate conception and that, but she was pregnant with an empty shell. She hadn’t said anything to her friends earlier, because Twilight probably would’ve wanted to find out exactly what happened and she was scared. Once Twilight was hit with the Elements of Harmony, the shell broke, and out appeared the baby Twilight Sparkle. Can I use the “alicorn magic” excuse again?

I could swear there was a second thing I wanted to mention. At least the first line of the last paragraph suggested that. I suppose that’s what happens when I start writing something, and then go to sleep mid-thought. Ah well, if it hits me, I’ll edit it in.

Generosity’s Trust

Oh boy, how this one changed from the original incarnation. As I mentioned earlier, this one was supposed to take place before Magic’s Dawn. While this will sound stereotypical, I sat for a couple hours with the word “The” on my document. Meanwhile, the ideas for Magic’s Dawn filled my head. The original incarnation of it, anyways. So I opted to write that one first, and come back to this.

The original idea I had for this one was to have them start to form a relationship and not be secretive. And it was all going to be the fault of Winona and Opalescence. While I’m sure something probably could’ve been done to that effect, I shake my head at the idea now.

Chapter 1, “Scream of the Cutie,” was originally a stand-alone that I created entirely because of one of the reasons that Equestria Daily rejected Magic’s Dawn. “Implied Applejack/Rarity sexings. Not necessary to story.” Sure, that was minor compared to other reasons, but that was the one that struck me the most.

Yes, I am incredibly petty.

I had written that single line as a joke line referencing my unwritten Generosity’s Trust. Sure, I could’ve taken it away, fixed all the other mistakes, and tried again, but I loved that line. You’ve probably noticed that every story I’ve written since Magic’s Dawn refers back to the events of that fic, so you can probably guess that I love throwing in little tidbits referencing other stories of mine.

So, because I’m petty, I had planned to add a reference in ALL future fics regarding AJ/Rarity couplings. “Scream of the Cutie” was the first idea I came up with. Because it was written as a one-shot, the pair were a bit more open around the CMC than they were with Fluttershy/Twilight and Spike in the later chapters. I could’ve gone back to edit it to make it fit with the events of the finale, but people seemed to like it. Generosity’s Trust seems to be the most popular of the fics I’ve written, if I understand my stats correctly (Though I am about to fail my statistics class for the third time, so yeah...).

Obviously, I decided to not go with mentioning their relationship in every fic since the story got expanded. That would just be silly. Sure, they’re still in a relationship, but no need to drive the point home since the conclusion.

Does the Doctor Whooves bit in “Scream of the Cutie” seem incredibly out of place? It should. It was added after I had finished the fic. Why is it there? As I mentioned, it was a one-shot originally. It didn’t quite meet the word minimum to be posted on FiMFiction. If I would’ve realized it was going to be a multi-chapter story totally 5.4K words, it probably would not exist. I could’ve taken it out after I expanded it, but I’ll get to why it still exists towards the end of this entry.

As I thought about this, I realized that Applejack’s line in Magic’s Dawn actually can be attributed to what she suggests in chapter 4. That was totally unintended, and I’m actually happy that I accidentally did that!

One thing I wonder about this one, in chapter 4, did I convey the belief that Rarity killed herself? Because that’s what I was aiming for. Obviously she didn’t, because it is my one comedy fic and that would just throw off the mood entirely. I really don’t want to kill any ponies in my main continuity. I just wanted to see if I could pull that off properly.

The fashion show/wedding was another last minute idea that hit me. I think I absolutely proved that I’ve never seen a fashion show. Do they have announcers at those? No idea!

The wedding itself, I liked how the princesses do that. I envisioned the first horn tap apart to be representing the couple by themselves, and the crossed horns representing unity. And I would totally laugh if something like that happened in the upcoming wedding episode.

I still like the idea that Applejack is the bride and Rarity is the groom. Just seems so different than how they would be portrayed in most other ships, either together or with others.

The Magician and the Filly

I don’t think I have much to say on this one. It was the first story I had featuring filly Twilight. I tried my hardest to convey the info given from Magic’s Dawn without forcing others to read that one too. From the first couple comments I got on it, I seem to have failed in that. Sorry.

I’m not sure how I’m going to handle trying to explain it in the future so I don’t keep getting “Why is Twilight a filly, and Fluttershy’s daughter?” I could just drop this continuity, but it’s fun! I only have one partially-wriiten fic that’s outside of this continuity due to content. I want to continue my story, and I’ve had a number of people ask me for more stories involving filly Twilight. She actually has her own section on my fanfic ideas list. Granted that it’s empty right now, but hopefully I’ll get some inspiration soon.

I could quit trying to explain it and just say “Go read Magic’s Dawn” but that isn’t fair to the reader and makes me come off as a jerk.

I got a lot of work to plan out before I delve into too many filly Twilight stories.

I know the Trixie’s revenge idea is overused, but I did like the idea of her having such a hatred for Twilight than it overrode the alicorn magic that made everyone else forget her old life. I wish I could’ve conveyed it a lot better than just a single line saying “Do you think Trixie just hates Twilight that much?”

And I’m totally going to say that Cheerilee’s attitude towards Trixie was somewhat inspired by School Daze. Granted that I have nowhere near the ability to make Cheerilee as much of a BAMF as she is in that story. but BAMF Cheerilee is best Cheerilee. She didn’t have much screentime in my story though, and even less time to be awesome.

Seriously, go read that. I have no idea how you’re here at my works if you haven’t read that awesome story.

Final Notes

I’m still learning a bit about writing fics. Obviously the fact that I felt the need to write an author’s commentary proves that much. Most of this is stuff that should’ve been conveyed in-story, and I do apologize for that. Hopefully as I do more work, there will be much less need to write things like this blog entry.

So what kind of ideas do I have planned for the future?

An expansion on my padding paragraph from Generosity’s Trust with Doctor Whooves. I have three ideas, based entirely on the adventures in each of the CMC’s lines. The first one to be done will probably be Apple Bloom’s story. Sweetie Belle’s may end up being an alternate continuity though.

A dark Pinkie story, but not the fanon Pinkamena (Pinkamina? I’m never sure.). This is the one I mentioned that will be outside of my continuity. Sadly, I can only write this story when I’m depressed. You might see why if you read it once it’s done. This one may take awhile.

Totally unoriginal, but there’s a very nice piece of Fluttershy as Lightning from FFXIII-2 that’s somewhat interested me in attempting a story, with an older version of my Twilight representing Serah. Whether it actually happens or not is a different story altogether, because if I start it and then not finish it, I will slowly drive myself into madness several years into the future. I can imagine myself, 50 years in the future, on my deathbed, my final words being “Why did I not finish that MLP/FFXIII-2 crossover fic? *dies*”

Diamond Tiara story? Diamond Tiara story.

And the finale to my Elements of Harmony-themed titles, being Fluttershy’s story. Truth be told, this is probably the hardest one of all of my plans.

And a couple more ideas that I’m keeping to myself for now.

Hopefully, I won’t have to write so many more long “author commentaries” like this. I need to fit things into my stories better. But I feel I’m improving as I go further, so hopefully if I make any notes in the future, it’ll be based around pointing out little easter eggs or inspirations of events.

Thank you for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed my stories so far. I’m having fun writing them, so I hope you’re having fun reading them!