Of Thoughts and just wonderings...

So, my first blog. I guess I might as well use this as my platform as to whenever I release a new chapter from reading on YouTube. Given that I have moved so little in terms of anything, I wonder if I even should have the right to want to do readings, when I can't even do much in my life.

As for progress... well, the least I will say is that I am utterly unimpressed with my progress. Actually, no. I have never been impressed of myself for I found nothing to be proud of.

I believe it has been a year since mine own fanfiction has last updated. And reading it now, I feel like cringing as much as I do whenever I hear my own recordings for readings. I don't want to give it up, seeing as how I have so many ideas I have yet to add to the story. Nothing has inspired me as of late nor has anything given inspiration been done of much. Recently, I contemplated in joining the Army Reserves in disaster relief, knowing the answer, which turned out exactly as I predicted and answered in such. I tried to volunteer for the SES, but even then my father looks at me and frowns that I have 'that' much free time. It's funny that. Never once has he ever supported me in anything, or even attending anything... my own graduation dinner - nil, failing to get into my uni's double-degree course - my life was finished and nothing more...

My ideas for my novel have stagnated, and where clear thoughts grow still the waters eventually will turn murky. Games just don't hold that once childish feeling of fun and where once I felt as though I could know so much I realised just how little I truly know. Life just holds no interest than it used to to me anymore. Apologies for the useless intro. And again, apologies for putting up all my own life stuff. I probably should get a life journal account or something to the like.

To the point.

I have scrapped my entire reading of chapter 1 of Snow and Shadows - I really wasn't happy with it after so many weeks of debating with myself.
Grossly Incandescent chapter 2 and 3 (beta) still need to be completed, as is Crack Javelin re-writing it.
Striped Like Me, Proofreading Clopfics Suck and Dinky's First Kill... I have not any thoughts on them... yet I said I would...

As for anything else...
Would anyone kindly recommend me a way to give myself dreams or nightmares?