Sadness... · 7:18am Aug 16th, 2013
The whole reason life can just be a drag sometimes; sadness... the reason why I have never WANTED to grow attatched to anyone or anything, because all that happens is your heart just gets broken, whether you wanna live a false lie or not and tell yourself there is someone out there for you, could be true, but not for me, I hate feeling this way, this way in the sense that if someone or something you love admits it can never work, they admit that you would just be living a false lie, it can break your heart because your heart doesn't want to accept the truth, which is the main reason why I have never WANTED to know what love, whether true or not, feels like, because it just makes you feel like shit. You could live your whole life and never experience anything close to having someone to love, and that's fine, but that is one of the meanings (In my eyes) of loneliness, or alternatively you can live your life and experience love, just to have the hopes crushed by the sad fact of the matter, that it may never work out, that's more of life's sadness for you. I just wanted to get this off my chest because honestly, I don't know how I feel about this emotion others call 'love' and I am afraid I may never know for a fact what the true meaning is, but more like false impressions...
I leave you with a few final words of wisdom, I will be back, but yeah... whatever:
Love is a fragile thing, whether you are male or female, gay or straight, there is no power more powerful than this one emotion, and if you are confused by this emotion, it can be depressing.
Oh tell me about it.
I went into a relationship and came out of the thing knowing that i wasn't ready for one, i don't want to bond at the moment and i know that that will last for a long time.
As far that i've experienced through life i can safely say that if you don't accept the risks and negative things that can happen from the moment that you do something then you will feel much worse if those things happen.
Also a lot of people seek happiness or joy, well those can be found easily in this world, but you have to accept the crap and responsibilities that come with it.
Personally i seek balance, in my eyes a very important thing since that we can never exclude the negative when we seek the positive.
Now that i look back, i've made mistakes, thing about mistakes, as long as they only hit you then you can see it as a moment of learning but if you hit others with it, well then it really is a mistake, but we carry those mistakes so that we don't make the same one, so its also a learning moment but still, a mistake.
I hope that you will learn from yours and that you can find them a place.
... How did it even go that far in this whole time...? In any case... Don't expect the feeling of heartbreak to go away anytime soon... Because believe it or not, I know exactly what it feels like and how deep it goes.