Stress: Past, Present, and Future...

Okay so, I had this whole major idea down to begin work on like, I dunno, 10 stories at once, writing at the very least 500 words a day, and on this day, (the June Update) I was going to update both my currently published stories, and get two new ones out, just to get things started...

And then, well... Life... The past two weeks I haven't been able to write much at ALL as I've tried to figure out what direction to move in with my future and such...

What it all comes down to, is that I had various plans for after mission stuff, and with it canceled, while it makes stuff like writing fanfiction tons more awesome (since I won't be randomly leaving for two years at any point) it's made a lot of stuff like where I should live now, what college should I attend, do I want to go on a service mission instead since that's still an option, my best friend is moving to Florida by the end of the year now too...

Pretty much I've been doing a lot of thinking, and praying, and organizing, and passing out randomly as I adjust to the sleep schedule of working the night shift and stuff...

So yeah, that's why, today, I only have two updates, my first story, and one new one, with my CYOA story being postponed an update til next month while I continue to make sure I'm not tripping over my own rules of the world in its creation (The questions are complicated, trying to balance out what needs to be said vs how long it should take to say it, what all does Lyra know, etc etc) and currently my head is spinning and I'm having trouble writing ANYTHING...

To make matters worse in some ways, since I'm fairly certain (almost positive, seriously, might as well say it IS going to happen) I'll be going to college and starting a service mission in the fall, combined with the fact that ALREADY I can barely write 500 words a day (I mean I went like two weeks near the end not writing anything at all) means that I honestly have NO CLUE how I'm going to do any of this...

And so yeah, I'm freaked out about a ton of stuff, I've BEEN freaked out about tons of stuff, and I'm likely to CONTINUE to freak out about tons of stuff as it happens. I don't know when I'm going to get some measure of balance and figure out how to write how much for what and what kind of consistent writing schedule I should keep and such, I don't even know ENTIRELY where I'll be living (though likely I'll just stay at my dad's house while going through college, but it seems any choice I make is met with yelling on how I'm a total idiot from at least ONE of my four parents, let alone my aunts, uncles, and friends have their own two cents to add, but at least they manage to stay calm and not be hurtful when speaking) and it's just...

Life is really confusing, I've been drowning my thoughts in games, fanfiction reading, and going to work, I'm honestly not sure how long I'll be able to have it so that at the end of the month at least SOMETHING updates, if not everything, but I'm going to keep trying my best. I just wanted to sort of explain that if any major lapses of thought are evident in my writing, my planning, or anything else, you know the general reason behind it all now. Wish me luck please, and if you have any ideas on what I can do to destress and get myself to get a consistent writing schedule going, let me know! I need all the help I can get!

Anyway, as always, thanks a ton for reading, and have a great day!