Why...?

It's a dull ache in the middle of my chest.

My best friend an I used to go out a lot, doing whatever. But now she's been too busy to even message me every now and again. We haven't seen each other in months.

I spent today hanging out with my old High school drama club, before everyone leaves for far away colleges, while I stay at the local university. We laughed, we joked around, we all say we should do this again sometime. We part with smiles and feelings of warmth. I ask my best friend is she wants to do something together the next day.

She's busy again.

Again, I'm brushed off, no second thoughts, no hesitation. All the joy and mirth I had felt vanishes. Replaced by that dull ache.

I understand why she's busy sometimes. I understand that she has very good reasons for not spending time with me. I understand why spending time with others is sometimes secondary to her. I understand that she doesn't know how much it keeps hurting when I can't spend any more time with her, when I haven't seen her in months.

Why am I feeling this way?

Maybe I'm being petty.

Maybe I'm too sensitive.

Maybe I'm just lonely.

I don't really know anymore.

All I know right now is that dull ache in the middle of my chest......