Ok I feel this is necesscary · 12:20am May 30th, 2013

Ok I feel this is going to be needed to be said at some point. I should not be given full or even most of the credit for the stories you see on my page. I should receive half of the credit at most. I came up with the ideas for the stories and write a really rough draft of them. I help my co-author with story development after I write my draft. but that is mostly it. Most of Fluttershy's Love is based off of my draft but most of what has recently happened in it and what is to come is not from my original draft.

If you want an example for how different it is here is the opening scene from Fluttershy's Love and then the scene from my draft.

Final draft:
It was a fine day in Ponyville. All the little ponies were tending to their daily duties, and the Pegasi were preparing the sky for a huge storm that was scheduled later that day… Well, all except Fluttershy who was off in the park, taking care of all the wood land creatures who relied on her. She was thinking of the glorious time she would have with Big Mac later that evening.

Fluttershy was so happy she could hardly contain herself, her thoughts bubbling with her joy and raw excitement. She never imagined that Big Mac would ever notice her, let alone have feelings for her, but he came to Fluttershy just the day before and asked her to go to the Hearts and Hooves Day Ball with him. Her heart nearly burst just thinking of the Ball, her mind drifting back to Big Mac asking her, and how the only thing she could say was a small, embarrassed squeak of a yes.

After a long day’s work, Fluttershy had finished securing the last bird’s nest. All the tiny critters living in the park would now be safe from the storm, and Fluttershy could go home and start preparing for the ball, but as she began prancing along the cobblestone path she paused. She spotted Big Mac up ahead and quickly dived into a nearby bush. She questioned herself for a moment, wondering why she was avoiding him. Her thoughts ran short as she watched him from the confines of the bush, her mind drifting over the glimmer of his red coat, and she couldn’t help but observe the stallion as he trotted through the park.

She regained her confidence as he passed by her, not noticing her hiding in the brush, but she stopped herself again when she noticed Big Mac walking towards another pony. Cheerilee smiled at Big Mac, her purple coat glittering in the sunlight, and Fluttershy felt an odd, boiling feeling in her heart. She watched, feeling helpless, as Big Mac and Cheerilee walked to a clearing in the park and sat down together on a lovely little blanket. Cheerilee produced a basket and the two began talking as the purple pony set up a picnic lunch.

Despite her best efforts, Fluttershy couldn’t make out a single word the two were exchanging, which worried her some as she watched their friendly teasing. ‘What could he possibly be doing with Cheerilee?’ Fluttershy questioned herself silently as she creeped behind a tree in hopes of getting a better look. She watched as Big Mac would offer a brief word, earning a giggle or smile from Cheerilee, and then continue talking to the purple pony. It bothered Fluttershy that he spoke so much to Cheerilee, where as he barely offered her a word, but as the afternoon wore on she began to think her suspicion was misplaced.

After watching the pair for more than an hour Fluttershy let a small, relieved sigh escape her lips. ‘They’re just having a friendly lunch together, she decided, a small, bashful smile dancing across her lips. She was about to turn away and head home, her mind retreating to thoughts of the wonderful evening her and Big Mac would have together, but then suddenly Big Mac leaned over and kissed Cheerilee.

Her heart stopped for a moment, her eyes widening in shock, as Big Mac and Cheerilee began to kiss each other more deeply. Her mind dangled on the edge for a moment as the scene unfolded before her eyes, and she wondered why Big Mac would do such a thing to her. After all, hadn’t he asked her to the Hearts and Hooves day Ball? She felt tears well up in her pretty blue eyes as she rushed from the scene, her wings picking her up from the ground, and she flew towards home as quickly as her wings would carry her.

Her hooves landed delicately on her front lawn and she ran to the front door, tears sliding down her cheeks as she pushed open the cottage door, and slammed it harshly behind her. She carried herself slowly to her room, small sobs escaping her lips as she stepped through the doorframe. She closed the curtains, blocking out the sun, and crawled under the covers without another sound.

My Draft:
It was a fine day in Ponyville. All the little ponies were tending to their daily duties. All the Pegasi were preparing the sky for a huge storm that was scheduled later that day. Well that is all except Fluttershy who was off in the park that day. She was taking care of all the wood land creatures and thinking of the glorious time she would have with Big Mac later.
Fluttershy was so happy that she was nearly bursting with joy from the excitement. She never thought that Big Mac liked her but when he asked her to the Hearts and Hooves Day Ball she could not turn it down. She had just made the last of the bird nests safe for the storm when she saw Big Mac walking through the park.
She decided she would go talk to him but before she got to him she saw him sit on a blanket with Cheerilee. She quickly dove in to a bush. “What could he be doing with her” Fluttershy thought to herself. Fluttershy tried to listen to what they were saying but could not make it out.
She sat in the bush for a good hour while they had lunch while they were laughing and talking. Fluttershy was about to leave thinking it was just a friendly lunch between friends when suddenly Big Mac kissed Cheerilee. Fluttershy could not believe it after all Big Mac asked her to the Hearts and Hooves Day Ball. Fluttershy rushed home as fast as her wings could take her then slammed the door and went to her room.

TL:DR? Well I will some it up for you. The final version has better grammar, punctuation, wording and is quite a bit longer too.

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