The Major + Pinkie=...? · 5:11pm May 23rd, 2013
So, one of the first things that entered my mind when I stepped into the fandom was
"Pinkie has the same fetishisitic approach to parties as the Major from Hellsing has towards war. Wonder if she ever has a big 'ld speech 'bout it."
I look around and, nothing! Not a single drop of 'I Like Parties' anywhere, and it made me feel :(. So, in light of it, I went ahead and took 'I Like War' into 'I Like Parties'. Sadly, its less than a hundred words, and I'm too lazy to turn it into a one shot. So, here's the speech. It's pretty much 'I Like Wars', but I changed some words, took some out, added a few more...
My friends, it has often been said that I like to party.
My friends, I like to party... No, friends, I love to party! I love welcome parties. I love farewell parties. I love cakes. I love muffins, cupcakes, I love croissants, and donuts.
Parties across towns, in streets, in the cities, in my best friend’s houses, all through the night, and straight to noon. My friends, I love every act of parting that can occur upon this earth.
I love blasting entire pavilions with my party cannon, that thunder across all of Canterlot. My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed high, in spirit, and grins like a filly at the sight of his favorite pastry. And there is nothing like a Wonderbolt-in-training using her special ability to make even the princess of the night grin like a crazy pony. And the feeling that comes when a filly runs in, gleefully smiling at all the presents she got for her birthday, is such an exquisite feeling.
Like when ranks of bystanders join in preparing for a very important pony’s party. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh face gleefully playing with a present they thought they’d never receive.
The sight of sad ponies having their smiles strung up from being overwhelmed with happiness is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by ponies, who are simply overjoyed by finding out they have friends, instead of being the lonely, ‘worthless’ ponies they’ve made themselves out to be!
When a band of high class Canterlot ponies join in a song with me, with nothing more than their replacement instruments, I'm in ecstasy.
I love it when my parties do better than planned, even if a Griffin messes it up in the beginning. While it's so sad to see ponies down and blue, I like to think they are only trying to challenge my ability to make ponies smile, no matter what they’ve been through.
I love to be surprised by my best friends, especially when I’ve forgotten my own birthday. The surge of emotions that comes with my friends being happy about my own date of birth is... wonderful.
Fillies and gentlecolts... All I ask for is a party, a party so grand as to make Tartarus itself want to join in. Fillies and gentlecolts, I ask you as fellow party ponies, what is it that you really want? Do you wish for further partying as I do? Do you wish for an endless, wonderful party? A party whose fun is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for party to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to out, and party all across this Earth!?
Very well. Then a party is what you shall have. We are a closed door, and the ponies behind it, ready to jump out and shout ‘Surprise!’ with our wonderful party ideas. But... After enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us, a simple "ordinary" party will no longer be sufficient. We need a MASSIVE party! A party beyond any other that Equestria’s history has ever known!
We are but a single battalion... The remnants of a defeated army of party planners, numbering less than a thousand strong. However, I believe that each of you old planers is equal to a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily cater an army of a million and one ponies! Neigh, dragons! It is time for them to awake the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping. Let's prank, and remind them of what we are! We will remind them of what it feels like to live in happiness, and under the eternal party. We will remind them of the sound our ovens all going off simultaneously. We will remind them, that we are more than just silly ponies, and we will remind them that we are a force to be reckoned with!
Our Kampfgruppe of one thousand party-hardy griffons is going to throw a party so grand, that all parties previous shall look like a buck’s night! Yes, my friends! Soon, Equestria shall know the true meaning of eternal and fun parties, as our party lights illuminate the night sky! I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite parting stage. Back to our beloved party! At last Steven Magnet has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill. Attention all to all planners of the Millennium Battalion; this is a message from your commander… friends, let’s bring them a party unlike the world has ever seen.
There. Someone do something with it. Lemme know what you do, though. I'd like to see someone do something with it. I mean, if I was a lady, I'd make a video, but I'm a guy. And I have no idea what Pinkie's rule 68 self is called. Sadly, I am a sentient crow with no gender, so I can do neither.
