Dishing out points: The Top 10 Best Songs From Eurovision 2013

First off, sorry to all my readers for what amounts to pointless rambling. If that whole Eurovision thing isn't your cup of tea (and since a lot of you are American, it stands to reason it won't be for a lot of you), I'd advise you to stop reading now. This blog post is exactly what you'd think it's about.

Anyway, the MP3 version of the 2013 ESC album has been released, and oh boy, is this a mediocre year. (I've said that before, but it bears repeating.) In a better year - 2012, say - only the top three or four songs from this year would have stood a chance of getting into my top 10. But as it stands, I'm willing to take anything to rescue me from mediocre, badly-sung ballads and midtempo pieces. Here, then, are my top 10 songs for 2013.

#10 - 1 point: Elitsa Todorova and Stovan Yankulov - Samo Shampioni (Bulgaria) (video)

Bulgaria have a very bad track record at Eurovision since joining the family for the first time in 2005. Out of their eight participations since then, they managed to qualify for the final exactly once, in 2007. After failing to make the finals in 2012 by the slimmest margin possible (on tie-break with Norway for the 10th place in their semi), they've decided to try and make lightning strike twice by bringing back Elitsa and Stovan, who gave the country their only shot at the final six years ago, and finished fifth.

The song selection caused a bit of a stir - apparently Elitsa was so dissatisfied with the song originally chosen, "Kismet", that a hasty search for anything to exclude that song was arranged, and wouldn't you know, "Kismet" had "copyright issues". How neat. So "Samo Shampioni" was picked instead, and while I can't vouch for the quality of the pulled song, this one isn't half bad. Not a contender for the crown by any means, but a nice if strange combination of Bulgarian chanting, electronica and dubstep (which seems to be a running theme this year, as Norway, Slovenia and above all Montenegro are doing the wub wub wub as well - trust Eurovision to jog along about four years behind the bandwagon every single time a new musical trend comes along).

#9 - 2 points: Alyona Lanskaya - Solayoh (Belarus) (video)

As I said, I'll take any kind of uptempo number this year, seeing as how few of them we have. This is far and away the song out of the truly dire first semi-final (am I ever so glad I get to vote in the other one!) that stuck with me the most, with one exception we'll get to shortly.

Alyona won the Belarussian qualifiers last year, but was then pulled for manipulation of the televote. This year, it seems her victory was earned fair and square (or as fair as possible in a country like Belarus...), which didn't prevent her from switching to a different song after the selection. But since Belarus have been doing that for years, no one was really surprised. Nice, catchy number, if a bit lacking in melodic instrumentation - it remains to be seen whether Alyona can carry this song live; she won't have much support from the backing track.

#8 - 3 points: Emmelie de Forest - Only Teardrops (Denmark) (video)

If the bookies and the fan clubs are to be believed, this little Danish pastry of a song is the hot favourite to win the competition, which would mean a very short drive home for the party indeed, as Malmö and Copenhagen are separated by only a few kilometers of sea, the Öresund.

Initially, I didn't get it. But then again, I didn't get the appeal of "Fairytale", "Believe", "Running Scared" or "Euphoria" either, and I could definitely live with this song winning in a year as utterly bland as this. Someone has to walk away with the crown - why not Denmark? (I'd rather see this win than the by-the-numbers ballads from Georgia or Russia, that's for sure.)

#7 - 4 points: Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko - Identitet (Albania) (video)

I freaking love this song, in all its proud, utterly un-Eurovision-y roughness. I can't be 100 percent sure, but I think this is the first time I've heard an actual. honest-to-goodness guitar solo in a Eurovision song since Finland's Teräsbetoni back in 2008.

This probably won't even make it out of its semi, but I don't give a flying . This song is brilliant.

#6 - 5 points: Takasa - You and Me (Switzerland) (video)

Huh. Where have I seen that title before?

In all seriousness, I wasn't exactly optimistic when I learned that a band composed of members of the Salvation Army had won the Swiss pre-selection, the first to be held (back in December). But apparently you can't go wrong with a song named "You and Me", and I really like this little ditty. Fun fact: the double-bass player will be the oldest person to ever grace a Eurovision stage, at 95 (!) years of age.

#5 - 6 points: Koza Mostra and Agathon Iakovidis - Alcohol Is Free (Greece) (video)

Wow, is this an unexpected breath of fresh air from a country that had fallen into a routine of samey, bland, discreetly ethno dance-pop tunes since a song of that kind won them the contest in 2005. Perhaps their dismal result in 2012 finally shook them awake.

This is uptempo all right, but certainly not the kind of bland moussaka we've come to expect from Greece. Mixing classical Greek rembetiko with ska is daring to put it mildly, but I hope the gamble pays off.

Also, you've got to love that video.

#4 - 7 points: ByeAlex - Kedvesem (Hungary) (video)

It's strange. I'd probably not love this half as much as I do if it was in English, but the language really helps "Kedvesem" come to life. Also, track down a translation of these lyrics if you're able; while the title simply means "darling", it's far from your usual tired lovey-dovey-baby-baby shtick.

Similar to Albania, you've got to respect a country that sends a song this blatantly NOT optimized for the ESC to Malmö. I wish them the best of luck.

#3 - 8 points: Valentina Monetta - Crisalide (Vola) (San Marino) (video)

Whoa. Just when you thought you could write off Ralph Siegel as an utterly bull-headed has-been who's willing to sell himself to any country that might give him another shot (in the heroin sense of the word) at Eurovision, he goes and writes what I think is his best song since "Ein bisschen Frieden".

Just think: this is the team of songwriter and singer that gave us the Pinkie-Pie-in-a-barrel-of-monkeys-level ridiculousness that was "The Social Network Song" (formerly known as "Facebook, uh-oh-uh-oh") last year. And then they go and write this song, which by all rights should pull itself apart, because it turns from a ballad into an uptempo song midway through. Yet somehow it all comes together.

This might see the tiny republic of San Marino in a Eurovision final for the first time ever. Here's to you. Mr Siegel.

#2 - 10 points: Bonnie Tyler - Believe In Me (United Kingdom) (video)

Huh. As if Engelbert Humperdinck last year hadn't been enough. Apparently you can't take part in the ESC for the United Kingdom anymore if your last hit hasn't had at least three decades to make its way into the public consciousness.

Anyway, if there is any name on this year's participant list that might ring a bell even with an American audience, it's certainly Ms Tyler, best known for "Total Eclipse of the Heart". While "Believe In Me" is nowhere near as grandiosely awesome as that song, it's still impressive. In a year of ballads, performance will make all the difference, and I hope and pray that Bonnie Tyler takes the jury performance a little more seriously than Mr Humperdinck apparently did last year. I love this song, and I'd like to see it do well, though considering the track record of my favourite songs, it likely won't.

#1 - 12 points: Eythor Ingi - Ég á líf (Iceland) (video)

I honestly have no idea what it is about this song - probably a combination of the language, the beautiful instrumentation and that ridiculously cute and heartwarming video, plus the fact that this Viking of a man, who looks like he should be doing power metal, is singing this Celtic-flavoured ballad. I love this thing to pieces.

From what I've seen on the net, I'm pretty much alone in that opinion, sadly enough. I hope against all hopes to at least see this song get through to Saturday night, and I'll certainly do my best to help it get there.

Comments

[BlackWidower]

Listened to Bonnie Tyler's entry. Started out good, really liked the lyrics. Made me think it was a love song to Richard Dawkins. I like that.

But didn't really flow well. Felt a bit awkward I guess.