Story Time: How I Almost Died the Best Death Ever. · 7:50am Apr 6th, 2013

So I'm in my room with a bottle of Louisiana hot sauce and a very small bowl. I've always liked Louisiana because it's not so hot that it overpowers food, and it's also smooth to drink (It's my bottle and I'll do what I want with it!). So, I shoot back a mouthful of acidic, red delicious sauce, and it head's down the wrong pipe. As it travels down my windpipe, my body does the natural thing, and violently shoves it out of me through the nearest hole, and onto my white(ish) carpet. I then start violently and loudly gasping for air like a fish torn from water. I run to my kitchen and begin spitting out what looks like blood (it wasn't, it was just a waste of really good hot sauce). My sister runs in and begins doing what everyone in this situation would do. She does not help, she does not get someone else, she does not smack me on the back to get air into my now-burning lungs. She asks me what's wrong. I hold up my finger, and continue gasping for oxygen that isn't there. l take one last breath, and I finally breath (and cough like a cancer patient.)
The next moment went as such;
Sister: "What's wrong?"
Me: "Just a sec." I return momentarily with a can of Sprite.
Sister: "Were you choking?"
Me: *sip* "Yup."
Sister: "Are you okay?"
Me: *sip* "Yea I'm good."
My biggest problem is that I now have to clean my carpet. For a moment, I though I was going to die (the part about me gasping went of for a solid minute). What do I do afterwords? I put it on the internet for you all to read and call me a dumbass. You're welcome.