Revision is up! Chapter 2 is next

So I went through my prologue and read it over again taking the critical comments into consideration. I completely understand the comments I received about my initial narration. After going through it I picked several lines that made me cringe. I now know what not to do when it comes to narrating. I shouldn't be using the narrator to make jokes or call the punchline before it happens. I wanted to think of it of a parody of sorts but I guess it felt more intrusive to the story then anything. I then decided while writing Chapter 1 that the characters would create the comedy (I still wanted people to laugh. This isn't a completely serious story). I also still want to reference the other Twixie fan fictions I've read. I plan quite a few in the next chapter. I'll try not to come off as mocking to those great stories I liked so much. They did inspire me to write this fanfiction after all.

Again, I thank those who stepped out when they didn't have to and confront me about it. It's tough to know if what you're writing is good when you don't have feedback to go on.

Feedback at this point seems pretty positive so I'm going to keep this flow going.

Until Next Time,
Dash