Belong.

I was invited to a restaurant the other day...

Sounds promising does it not? Well to be honest it felt like a horrid disaster. I didn't really know anyone there, my friend he invited me out of pity maybe? It was a Sushi Restaurant, and I never had anything like it before. So easy to say I was really nervous.

I couldn't hold the chopsticks in between my fingers. So I felt awkward as I kept on dropping them in front of myself. My fingers are just clumsy idiots, besides typing on a screen I suppose.

People chatted, I silently listened. Offering the occasional polite nod here and there. But at the end I felt as if I didn't belong there. My friend was being nice to me, as he usually is. Yet, I only wanted to hide away in a dark corner and fade away.

My mother, she tells me it's healthy to get out. Try new things in life, but I feel it's not so simple. I feel socially awkward, as if I speak in a whisper or make dumb jokes nobody understands. I'm not ready to just embarrass myself like that.

To be rejected...I don't feel like I belong.

And I'd just like to catch my breath.