And Time Marched On, Forever

1. I'm going to start off this review by congratulating you on your creativity and originality. "And Time Marched On, Forever" is a very well-written piece of fiction, and I enjoyed reading it. You have a real talent for storytelling, and I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future.

2. Now, let's talk about the nuts and bolts of your story. Overall, I thought the plot was engaging and kept my interest throughout. I liked how you developed the relationship between the main character (the God of Chaos) and the female lead (a pony named Fluttershy). Their romance was sweet and heartbreaking, and I really felt for both of them during the latter half of the story.

3. Your use of language was also impressive. You have a way with words, and I especially liked the descriptions of the characters and settings. I could easily picture everything in my mind as I read along.

4. My only criticism would be that the ending was a bit abrupt. After such a build-up, I expected a more satisfying conclusion. Perhaps if you had added another scene or two where the God of Chaos dealt with his grief over losing Fluttershy, it would have been more powerful.

5. Other than that, I can't find anything else to complain about. "And Time Marched On, Forever" is a great example of what makes fanfiction so special. Fans are able to take established characters and put them in situations and scenarios that the original authors might not have imagined. I applaud you for taking risks and trying something different.