Zoop
Flash Sentry woke up with a horse snort.
The nearby kitchen was considerably less crowded. He sensed crystal ponies shuffling towards the lobby with wheel'd carts full of treats.
"Rnnngh... guh..." Flash flailed, then fell off his chair. He landed on all fours, stifling a whinnying sound. "Praise God I didn't have Mulgrew's boobs. Mrffff" He rubbed his snout, wincing. "Mrmffff... theyknowI'mhereTheyknowI'mhereTheyknowI'mhere..."
"Huh?" Bon Bon's voice came closer, as did her trotting hooves. "Who knows you're here, Brad?"
He raised his hoof, smiling wide. "Beverly!"
"Uhm... it's Bon Bon."
"Good enough!" He planted his hooves on her startled shoulders. "How long was I asleep?"
"Uhhh... according to Fancy Pants, he said you started taking a nap about three hours ago."
"Too damn long!" Flash Sentry paced back and forth across the hallway. "Time to take action!"
"Brad—honestly, I think you need to get more sleep than that—"
"No time!" his voice cracked. "I gotta get a head start."
"On what?"
"Everything! All the things!" He gnashed his teeth as he paced and paced and paced. "Because I'm missing something! Something that's gotta be right in front of me!" He gnawed on his bottom lip. "Mmmmmm... something that I gotta nip in the bud before they find me! Or else all of this was spent on nothing!"
"I really... really... think you need a bit more sleep, Brad..."
"No time. There's n-no time!" He turned to face her, eyes bright and bugging. "Tell me, Beverly! What's better than bringing all of the horses of Equestria together for unification?"
"Uhhhhhhh..." Bon Bon leaned back, raising a nervous hoof. "Bringing..." She grimaced slightly, stuck between cringe and brainstorm. "...all... the creatures of Equestria together?"
"Hah! Bangarang!" Flash Sentry danced in place. "And why else are we having Unification here in the Crystal Empire?"
"I... thought Filthy Rich and Fancy Pants said it was because of their dealings with the diamond dogs of High Paw—"
"Dang straight it is! That's what's missing! It has to be!" Flash spread his wings. "Give word to Soarin for me, Bon Bon Crusher! I gotta zoop!"
"Huh?"
"Zoop!" And he flew off in a gold-and-blue blur.
"Hey! Hey!" Bon Bon stomped her hoof. "What am I going to tell Soarin and the others?!"
"I'm on a mission!" Flash's manic voice flew back. "Maximum zoopage!"
A zig-zagging flicker of shiny hallways later, and Flash emerged upon an early morning dawn. The sun glinted blindingly across the immaculately polished streets and rooftops of the Crystal Empire. His eyelids burned to the touch.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-yeah..." He seethed between his teeth, bowing his head as he attempted to take wing. "I'm alive and a half. Alive and a half." He panted for breath in a brand new heat, attempting to keep his wits together. "Just... just need to fly. I can get enough done before they get here. Before I have to—"
Whump! He bumped into an equine figure.
"Guh! Hey! Uhm..." Flash looked left and right, eyes still struggling to acclimate to the brightness. "Have you seen a handsome dude named Soarin? Dark blue mane? Sorta sounds like the voice actor for Disney's Aladdin?"
"Dude. You've got him," Soarin said, his body coming into focus. "I just woke up. Looks like you did too."
"Oh! Cool!" Soarin slapped his shoulder. "Just the horse-bro I was looking for!"
Soarin fought through a yawn, rubbing his eye. "I came to check up on how the catering was going..." His brow furrowed. "Are you ever going to tell me who this 'Aladdin' guy is—?"
"Look. Time is of the mucus."
"Mucus???"
"Whatever. I forgot the catch-phrase." He placed a hoof on Soarin's shoulder again. "I just realized we gotta invite someone else to the party."
"We do?" Soarin snapped awake. "Who? I thought we already got the ponies taking care of the food, music, and decorations—"
"We do! But this is more important than all of that!" Flash grinned crookedly. "Tell me, can the Midnight Oil take off?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh..." Soarin grimaced. "No. Not even remotely. Why? Can't we just fly to whoever and tag them—?"
"I don't think a train or stagecoach is gonna cut it, bro. Do we have anything else that can fly?"
"Well..."
"Come onnnnnnnn!" Flash shimmied in place. "This is do or die, dude!"
"I... think Prince Blueblood had a royal skiff that flew in from Canterlot. It's way smaller than the Midnight Oil but it's a lot faster—"
"Good! That'll do!" Flash trotted off.
"Whoah! Brad!" Soarin held him back by his tail. "You can't just go hijacking the Royal Prince's Zeppelin!"
"What if it's for the express purpose of perfecting this entire unification extravaganza?"
"Well... I suppose you could try and ask him—"
"Great!" Flash flapped his wings and soared towards the east end of town. "Let's go see him right now!"
"Uhhhh..." Soarin pointed west. "He's lodged thattaways."
Flash braked in mid-air, spun around, and flew west. "Pfft! I knew that!"
"Did you get enough sleep last night, bro?"
"About three hours, why?"
"Celestia dang it, Brad—"
"Come!" Flash gestured in mid-flight. "Tag along! I'll need your help in sweet-talking the Prince!"
"Nnnnngh..." Soarin rolled his eyes and eventually flew after the younger stallion. "Why am I always sticking my neck out for you?"
"Sssssssh! We're trying to fetch ourselves a ship! Don't ruin it!"
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Time to Zoop quickly! Also Shipping
Brad seems to be going further and further off the rails now. He's addicted to Equestria, and at the first hint that someone might be coming to deprive him of his drug of choice, he goes crazy to get as much of it as he can.
The pure essence of zoop. Sorry, Flash. This ain't that other skirts story. Stupid plans ain't gonna work here.
8802924
Or, you know, waking up after only three hours of sleep, trying to void the downer of a princess that's now getting on his case. The shift from doing well, to death spiral to a trainwreck has not been subtle in the last few chapters.
Zoop?
What does soup in the quirky accent of Redwall's moles have to do with Equestria?
8803233 You think that is enough to put someone off the deep end?
Hopefully this story doesn't stay in crazy town to long. Kinda feels like it's kind of lost it's way. I am still gunna read it cause I want to see the crash flash does when he windes down from this and actually needs to think seriously about his life again
8803249
He's been going for three? Four? days straight now... With what appears to be inadequate sleep, and excessive physical exertion.
Remember, 30 hours without sleep is physical detriment equal to the legal limit of alcohol. And remember what kind of madness a drunk can get into as the brain shuts down. A few power naps might keep it at bay for a time, but there is absolutely, positively, ZERO substitute for a full sleep cycle. And as far as I can tell, he hasn't had a full night's rest since he got to Equestria. Interrupted on the mountain, a nap on the airships each way. And now inadequate 3 hours during the party planning.
At some point, Flash is gonna' crash. And now he's going to make it worse faster by actively trying to avoid sleep to avoid Luna's 'you don't belong here' lecture. If Luna is even one iota intelligent, she should recognize what he's doing and know that persisting in his dreams will only encourage him to lose even more sleep, making him even more irrational and unreasonable when it actually comes time to confront him.
Flash may be experiencing a bit of a social high right now, but he's very much overdoing it. If anything, Soarin should already have recognized this from a professional standpoint... Actually, he DID. But it seemed to be weak. Soarin, out of everyone, should be well versed in what sleep deprivation and too much activity can do to someone, as that would be the Wonderbolt's greatest day-to-day enemy.
8803291 Arguments about sleep, on/off camera actions, and dehydration aside, I will point out that Luna has actually been stepping up to bat for him. She has actively kept things out of her fellow princess' notice so that he can have this romp.
Go Soaring! And zoop to the extreme!
Bangarang...
that made me smile
"Ru-fi-Ooooooo!"
Welp time to join some skypirates
Brad, what are you doing....?
Is Bluebloods high speed airship going to be called The Cutting Snark or somesuch?
8803474
his best
Picturing Brad making Lesson Zero faces. I can't even...
Ahhh yes... Sleep deprivation. Just like when I binge my way through the East Horse lore... Speaking of which:
Westward is the path of disaster, Braddy Boy!
8803237
REEDWAAAAAAALLL
:P
i love those books!
8804231
Somepony should do a crossover.
Twilight Sparkle meets Martin the Warrior: Friendship Happens!
8804721
he's sleep-deprived and scared shitless of being sent back to depression land.
8805002
8804231
I am actually kind of surprised this crossover hasn't happened. I mean it does have its flaws....while the Rodents of Redwall Abbey are very open to the idea of friendship....inevitably some violence is applied to solve the problem of Cats, Ferrets and Foxes.
Even so, their are universes far FAR more violent that have Cross Overs.
Still there is also a matter of the plot. The easy solution would be to transport the Mane6 to the redwall Universe. If nothing else it would lead to an amusing reversal of the "Ponies are so cute and small" trope that crops up in HiE fics. The Ponies are after all, bigger then anything in Redwall appart from some of the snakes and the largest badgers and cats.
((Can't make them to big. Obviously ponies are bigger then all those animals except the Badgers MAYBE but hardly the plot can be resolved by, 'Pony stomps on the badguy'))
So then you have the typical plot of trying to get home. Magic is rare in Redwall, (although not nonexistant from what I remember. Its been over 10 years since I read the books) so its not an easy task.
Funny potential moments: Fluttershy talking down some rats and convincing them to stop being evil.
Rarity being told over and over again to stop playing dressup with the mice.
Rainbow Dash having a secret fear of mice/rats and freaking out repeatedly, much to Applejacks amusement. (Of course Rainbow Dash gets over this at some point and saves the day).
Spike enjoying not being the smallest anymore, and being taught how to fight with a sword by Rabbits, much to Twilights disapproval.
And Pinky Pie....well she is Pinky Pie. Funny moments just happen with her. No need to speculate.
Not sure what to do with Twilight, and Applejack. But then its not my crossover.
8803625
https://derpibooru.org/1510691
And this will be where things will start to go horribly wrong, isn't it?
Just me or is he losing his damn mind.
Soarin: "Why do I put up with you?
"DON'T MAKE IT GAY DUDE-BRO!"
...I am slightly less ashamed of the thought processes required to create that set of lines than I thought I would be.
Uh oh. Flash is zooping his way to disaster. I can only hope he runs into himself before he manages to drag Diamond Dogs into the festivities. The odds of that going well are so slim, they're almost one-dimensional.
8808559
8803625
8803291
I've actually been waiting all this time for a pony to make a comment about the last pony so obsessed with work they've seen being... Princess Twilight. Fancypants would be a prime candidate. Not sure how Flash would take that.