Dumb
"No no no! You're ssssssupposssssssed to pull the lever back to full tensssssion and then load the projectile!"
"What projectile?! I'm trying to load the ssssstone!"
"You idiot! The ssssstone isssss the projectile!"
"Well why didn't you ssssssay sssssso! Ssssstop ussssing big wordssss!"
"I'm not ussssssing big wordssss! What do you take me for, a pony?! They're the onessss we're trying to sssssmasssssh!"
"Nopony'sssss going to be sssssmassssshed unlessss you let me fix thisssss launcher thingy jussssst right!"
"You're both doing it wrong! I keep on telling you! We need to aim it more to the north!"
"I made my calculationssssss dayssss ago! Everything will work out if we jusssst do this asssss I have planned!"
"Some plan! You were wanting to launch projectilesssss insssstead of sssstonesss!"
"Rrrrrrrrrgh! You imbecilessss!"
"There you go usssssing big wordssss again!"
"Bark!"
While this... invigorating argument continued heatedly upon the cliff-face, Soarin' and Flash Sentry quietly snuck up, using an outcropping of rocks for cover. They peered through a crevice and saw three gangly canines fussing over a haphazardly constructed apparatus positioned crookedly within the narrow clearing. The largest of the three canines was hugging an immense rock to his chest while he hissed and barked at the other two. A slightly smaller canine griped and argued with him over the stone while the tiniest jumped on the biggest's head and started pulling at his ears.
"Aaaargh! Sssstop it, Spot! You're going to rip my earssss off!"
"Then quit being a runt and load the sssssstone into the bassssket! Ruff!"
"Fido! Spot! The two of you are wassssting valuable time! The council isssss talking to those wretched poniessss right now! They'll fly away in their air boat any ssssecond now!"
"You don't know that, Rover!"
"It doessssn't matter! We need to sssssmasssssh thosssse poniessss now while we have a chance! For High Paw!"
"Get off me!"
"Drop the sssssssstone!"
"Grrrrrrrr!"
"Yip!"
Flash and Soarin' watched with dull expressions. As the three canines continued to argue and struggle with one another, the teenager muttered to the Wonderbolt.
"That's... uh... that's a catapult."
"Mmmhmmm." Soarin' nodded.
"These guys... they're idiots, aren't they?"
Soarin' shuddered. "Nevertheless, they're idiots with a catapult."
"What are the odds they'll actually hit the Midnight Oil with that thing?"
"They'll hit something alright," Soarin' said. "And something tells me that they'll somehow try to pin it on Fancy Pants and his airship."
"Yeah..." Flash grimaced. "Why do these guys hate ponies so much?" He looked aside. "Is that common among diamond dogs?"
Soarin' shook his head. "Honestly, I have no clue. I've always assumed monsters—errrr..." He glanced shiftily at the orange stallion at his side. "That... non-ponies had a distinct dislike for equines, but I'm... trying to have an open mind."
The mountain peak shook as the largest canine tossed his "companion" into a nearby chunk of stone.
Flash gulped. "You have more courage than me."
"Strange..." Soarin' gazed at the vests and collars that the three mongrels were wearing. "Something about their attire..."
"You know these guys?" Flash asked.
"No. But... I vaguely remember this story Rainbow Dash used to brag about," Soarin' remarked. "Something about a bunch of underground foalnappers that she and her friends cleared out of Ponyville..."
"Were they diamond dogs?"
"They were. But... the chances are astronomical." Soarin' took a deep breath and turned around. "Whelp... better go tell Spitfire and the rest."
"What?" Flash squinted at him. "What for?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Soarin' gestured, still keep his voice—and head—low to avoid detection. "These morons are trying to threaten the negotiations!"
"Yeah... but don't forget the 'moron' part," Flash said. "I don't think we need the full hammer of the Wonderbolts elite crushing these punks. That might look bad in the eyes of High Paw."
"How so?"
"I dunno. Maybe it'd seem dishonorable?" Flash's eyes crossed. "No wait, that's Klingons."
"These guys could still be dangerous if they execute whatever plan they've got cooked up."
"Yeah... but don't you think idiots are more dangerous when their shit goes wrong?" Flash asked.
Soarin' stood in place, tapping his chin.
"I think it'd be best if we got as few potential victims mixed up with this situation as possible. Also... think about it." Flash smiled. "If we crush these guys with the Midnight Oil's full complement, what would be left of them to 'fess up about what exactly they're trying to pull here?"
"What would you suggest we do?" Soarin' gestured wildly. "Sneak up and knock their heads together? Just the two of us? Look at their massive forelimbs!"
"Don't be silly." Flash sported a dumb grin. "We'll talk to them!"
Soarin' nearly spat his tongue out. "Talk to them?! These morons would have us for supper!"
"Now now... that's what some of the diamond dogs think you ponies want to do with them. What are we here for if not to destroy negative cross-cultural predilections?"
"But... but..."
"Don't you think the best way to solve stuff is the peaceful way?"
"That's... not always easy."
"Maybe in my world. But here?" Flash strolled boldly ahead. "...I think it's worth a try."
"Hey! Flash!" Soarin' hissed, then frowned as the teenager bolted forward. "Dang it!" He darted desperately after the other stallion.
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I can see the headlines now: Flash Sentry starts WWIII, nation not shocked In the slightest.
:facepalm: OF COURSE the malingerers who screwed the pooch are THOSE Diamond Dogs.
Flash wants to Whine And Dyne first?
With these idiots, its bound to lead to Someone doing a Garfield.
Damn if Flash keeps it up he will get more commendation then the Equestrian Flash Sentry by a hefty margin by the time they meet each other.
It's the stupidest best intentioned plan!
Just talk them down!
The crazy dogs that enslave ponies and are willing to destroy the tenuous peace out of hatred.
Surely they'll listen to reason!
But damn if those aren't the best intentions. And heck, maybe the fact that they're dumb means the dumbness of the plan will be cancelled out!
Flash see's Diamond Dogs and he goes forward ...With DETERMINATION
Flash is so idealistic it's kind of silly. I hope this works out well though, if it doesn't a war is very possible.
These guys go to CHS, though. Shouldn't Flash recognize them somewhat?
Oooh thi is sooooo not ending well
7968454
Not necessarily. I mean, do you remember every single person who's ever gone to the same school as you?
7968512 Well, nah, but I've been out of high school for years and my school was a lot bigger than forty people. If I had only been gone for a day or two and it was the same three who always hung out together, especially when they're very visually distinctive, I now see them up to no good, and I've spent the last two days specifically keeping an eye out for cross-dimensional counterparts of people I know... I'm pretty sure they'd at least ring some bells in my brain.
Naive, naive Flash Sentry.
On the other side, in this candyland which author describes such approach is the very best way.
I have a really hard time deciding whose plan is more absurd now
Solve this without hooves, Flash (as if that could happen). Show us how you are different to Rainbow Dash.
Negotiations > Aggressive Negotiations > Space Blockade > Robot Invasion
I've seen this movie before! I know where this is going!
Of course, they can't just have Flash talk to the dogs as Soarin' alerts the others because...
Well, frankly, because Flash would probably get his own butt handed to him. That's actually pretty reasonable. If I were Soarin', I might worry this was an elaborate, well-meaning suicide attempt. Still, alerting somepony about the catapult would probably be a good idea. If nothing else, it would certainly shift the tone of the negotiations.
7969356
What would you do with midnight oil... burn beds?
This plan is stupid - that's how we know it will work!
7970351
Yeah, but that was on Earth. I figured he'd at least want to speak with Princess Twilight again...
7970372
He did explain why he didn't think Princess Twilight wouldn't like him: that he thought he was imagining all the mutual crush stuff. He wouldn't want to get his heart broken again, he was trying to get away from that.
That plus him wanting to just "get away" means he's probably afraid if he talked to Twilight she might send him back.
7970499
Here's hoping she finds out he's in Equestria and patches thing up with him....
Best chapter yet
"These guys... they're idiots, aren't they?"
Soarin' shuddered. "Nevertheless, they're idiots with a catapult."
That should bethe quote of all times. If this is a reference, I'm not familiar with origin :P
This plan is stupid... So stupid.