The last of the city torches had been lit. A warm glow poured down every street and alleyway, glistening off the smooth and glass-like streets and buildings of the Crystal Empire.
Flash had trotted a full ellipse, and by now he was nearly back at the base of the palace. Just a few more blocks and he'd be within spitting distance of the passages leading down into the banquet hall. The advent of night had cooled the air, calming his already tranquil nerves, and he was ready to oversee the preparations again.
Nevertheless, he took his time, delighting in every sound he heard... every pleasant conversation he chanced upon... every laughing voice that tickled his ears.
A rattling noise filled the torch-lit air. Flash Sentry glanced to his right, spotting a trio of stagecoaches rolling in from the northeast. They bore banners representing distant provinces of Equestria—no doubt—and were heading towards the hotel district behind him. The stallions pulling the vehicles were evidently not local, and Flash momentarily worried that they were going a bit too fast for that part of the city.
His fears were realized when the three stagecoaches rounded the next corner. The stallions drawing the last vehicle of the caravan slipped on the glossy, polished road.
"Ooomf!" one stumbled.
"Guh!" the other slid on his fetlocks.
Wh-Whump! The weight of the stagecoach drew it forward and it bumped into the flanks of the two stallions. While it didn't injure the two ponies, the heavy vehicle hadn't finished shifting. With a loud wooden groan, it teetered towards its side, half-a-second away from collapsing.
"Look out!" a crystal pony across the street shouted.
"It's gonna fall—!"
Flash Sentry gnashed his teeth. His wings shot out and he bolted forward in a golden blur. FWOOOSH!
He threw his agile body straight for the collapsing wagon. As he did so, his peripheral vision caught a golden blur sailing in at a forty-five degree angle.
"I got it!" two male voices formed a chorus.
Thwump!
Flash Sentry braced his back against the wagon, holding it in place. He wasn't alone. Another stallion had joined him, his strong body garbed in silver-blue armor.
"Hold... hold..."
"You got it...?"
"Mrmmfff... yeah..."
"Easy... easy..."
Pacing themselves, Flash and the other good samaritan pushed the wagon back until it balanced evenly on its wheels. The crisis had been averted, and breaths of relief echoed from both sides of the street. Sweating visibly, the ponies who had been drawing the stagecoach stood up and unhitched themselves from the reins to examine the situation.
"Hah..." Flash Sentry swiped his brow, smiling as he panted. "That... was a close one..."
"Thank you citizen," the guard beside him spoke in a serious tone—a practiced voice. "I could have handled it on my own, but I very much appreciate the assist—" He froze as he looked at Flash.
Flash's ocean blue eyes blinked.
The guard's ocean blue eyes blinked.
Flash's muzzle opened slightly. He knew this because he saw the dumbfounded expression in the sheen of the guard's armor. A blue mane'd reflection squirmed nervously. As Flash backed up, he saw the blue mane'd guard gaping back at him... eyes narrow and scrutinous. With each inch that Flash pushed between them, the stallion appeared more and more tense. At last, he held a yellow-orange hoof up—as if to stop the teenager—
Creaakk!
The door to the stagecoah flung open between them. A distressed mare in a flouncey Canterlot dress stumbled out, sobbing. "Oh! Oh my Celestia!" She clung to the nearest pony she could find—the guard. "I positively thought I was going to die!"
"Uhh... n-no, ma'am. You're..." The guard grimaced, struggling to placate her. "You're safe. There's nothing to..." His eyes darted towards Flash again. "...fear."
"I almost broke my neck! Did a wheel break off?! We're not under attack by those dreadful Yaks, are we?!"
"No, ma'am. Not at all, ma'am..." The guard's voice grew fainter and fainter—probably because Flash was backtrotting away at a brisk rate. "Just... j-just wait here a second. Please..." The guard gently pushed her into the comforting forelimbs of a gaggle of citizens who had gathered at the scene. A blink later, he had flown in a gold-and-blue streak towards the next block over. From a distance, Flash watched as the guard touched down in front of a thick group of like-armored troops. He saluted, spoke rapidly, then pointed in Flash's direction. A series of helmets flickered in the torchlight, looking his way.
This was the last thing Flash saw, for he had turned tail immediately. With panting breaths, he galloped straight for the Crystal Palace—bumping awkwardly past a few gasping citizens along the way. Numb and panicked, he made for the first entrance to the underground level that he could find.
What the actual fuck.
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I agree, what the fuck is this, I mean come on the description doesn't even have 'Death' listed in there so why did the author up and kill Flash like that, not to mention what was up with that Femboy Faerie there.
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Pretty much a standard April Fools joke I assume.
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I hope so, thought the story is said to be complete now too.
Come on everyone, this was foreshadowed all the way back in chapter 69 when Spitfire mentioned the Tooth Fairy. There was no other way the story could end besides this.
Ahhh... I never thought that there would be a time when I’ll actually be early. Happy April Fools, y’all.
Especially you, Skirts. You damn Disney Princess addict.
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Eh, stories can be uncompleted. Honestly this is pretty inline with SS&E's humor too. Also the name change.
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Welcome to April Fools with SS&E guys. Enjoy the insanity
1st april dude
Nice April Fools joke, love the idea of a princess Flash Sentry idea.
I appreciate this is marked as finished.
If you are at all confused about this chapter, just take out a calendar realize what day it is. APRIL FOOLS.
Pretty good satire, though the bus should only have "knocked Flash out" or some other kind of nonsense. I think some authors use those concussive episodes to explain why the characters act so ridiculous later on.
NC NA
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Skirts' Easter gift to you.
The biggest issue for April Fool's is that I usually forget about being wary for it until the day of, when I should really start the day before because of time zones.
Ah, I remember my first SS&E April 1st.
...God, I miss my sanity.
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To be fair, the explosions are in his name. Kinda have to expect them
While it was a good April Fool's joke, this here is a reason why I hate this day. Authors dedicate time and effort to writing special joke chapters for this day and that makes waiting for the actual chapter continuing the story worse. It's not that bad here, as SS&E uploads this everyday, but some do it even if they update every week, month or who knows how long between and some of these consider AF chapters the proper chapter in terms of waitingfor next.
Seriously a april fools chapter... like all others the story is now shelved for a month or so. Always hated april fool chapters. It's like biting a sandwich you was waiting to get made after you ordered it. Only to find that its something you totally didn't order and is quiet bad. I know this will offend people but after the tenth one today pretty much has me saying screw this.
I feel like this was planned. As if the story was on a hiatus long enough for this chapter, chapter number and story climax to coincide with today's date.
Hmm...
This was about where I looked at the date and went "ohhhhh".
All is forgiven.
Seriously though, I don’t actually mind this April fools joke, because it was executed well (sorta), and it also coincides with chapter 100. I do hope that the “completed” status goes away after today, though.
Hot
Yes, this is even better than what I was expecting
Just wish the detective was reborn as a beaver- was really looking forward to that part
APRIL FOOLS!!!
What's this? An end? So abrupt.
And it hardly makes sense. Comes outta nowhere. The story makes you really think it's going somewhere, only to end abruptly at chapter 100 with a buncha crazy things, lampshading the Jacobs Ladder ending even with the millenial bath salts.
9/10 would fool again.
Edit: So the chapter has been replaced with the real one, and my comment no longer applies. Whee! Keeping it for posterity I guess.
Nice apirl fool joke so the story will countine tomorrow as normal!
Best sentence I've read all week right there.
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WHEEZE
So, did you deliberately time this so it would be the hundredth chapter, or was that just serendipity?
Gosh, I hate April fools...
Ok to comment on the real chapter. IT'S HAPPENING! This is going to be quite the interesting next few chapters to say the least. I just hope they are willing to hear Flash out on this.
$100 to see twilight princess and flash sentry talk soon
The best part of this is that anyone reading this chapter years from now will be so confused by some of the quotes in the comments.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here we go.
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Well, I don't think they put much effort into joke chapters. I imagine it's hardly a fraction of the time they put into real chapters, especially if they have sparse upload schedules. Much of the time put into writing isn't actually putting words to paper; it's having the ideas, and I doubt having an idea for a short joke chapter will significantly dent the time put into thinking up real chapters.
EG Flash's thoughts: "Oh crap, I'm found. I'm found and it's all over and pony me is the one who found me."
Pony Flash's thoughts: "CHANGELING!!!!!"
Wheres Pinkie with Yakkity Sax, the Empire needs to know theres a rediculously convoluted extended chase scene going on.
Or there could be Bulk Biceps doing his Sebastian impersonation.
Flash2
Guard Flash has got to be thinking "Changeling!"
Here we go! Now it gets tense.
Finally! Flash meets Flash!
Well at least they aren't calling Flash a changeling
As soon as Flash met himself, this came to my mind.