How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Dreamly

"Does it... uh... does it bother anypony?" Flash Sentry asked.

Soarin' looked behind him. "Does what bother anypony?"

In mid-flight, Flash gestured at the hull of the Midnight Oil cruising beneath them. The teenager had joined Soarin' and the other Wonderbolts in the easy westward glide, escorting the air vessel. "I kinda figured that airships would... y'know... fly faster."

Soarin' couldn't help but chuckle. He smirked at the horizon ahead of them. "We're not exactly in any hurry."

"Not even to negotiate everlasting peace with a bunch of underground canines?" Flash blinked. "I thought dogs lived only seven years. Wouldn't they want us to hurry things up?"

"These aren't your typical dogs. And this isn't your typical airship." Soarin' gestured in midair. "This is a royal frigate carrying thousands of pounds of trades and goods."

"Is it seriously all pies?"

Soarin' nearly drooled. "Celestia, if only."

"Huh?"

"Ahem." Soarin' shook his head. "A lot of it—from what I understand—are steel plated digging tools. Fillydelphia built."

"Heh... no kidding."

"According to Fancy Pants' connections in the social sciences, diamond dogs lack the technology to make steel. They're all stuck using granite, iron, copper... y'know..." Soarin' shrugged. "Lame metals."

"Do you think they'll settle for stuff that isn't canine-made?"

"I dunno."

"... ... ...do you even give a flying fart?"

"Hahaha...!" Soarin' smiled back at Flash. "Let me put it this way: I would be happy if Fancy Pants and Prince Blueblood get their investment's worth out of this whole venture. I think their swell ponies and I wish them the best."

"That's cool."

"However... do I actually believe that they'll be successful in these negotiations?" Soarin' squirmed, giving a half-hearted attempt at a shrug. "I've occasionally had to come to blows with nasty-nasties here in the Equestrian wilderness."

"All part of being a Wonderbolt, eh?"

"Sometimes," Soarin' said. "And if there's anything I've learned from non-hoofed creatures is that a lot of them are... pretty dang thick-headed. But... so long as we keep to ourselves and they mind their own business, we've never really had any reason to bother each other."

"But don't you think it'd be cool if ponies and non-ponies were friends?" Flash bit his lip, gazing down at the distant shadow that the Midnight Oil was making. "Perhaps... even something more?"

"Well, sure. Friendship is always awesome," Soarin' said. "I just... don't know how it's going to work with these diamond dogs. We've never really had that sort of a relationship with sapient non-equines before." He tongued the inside of his muzzle. "There are the Breezies, but I recall some of our top scientists claiming that they're somehow related to ponies on some basic level. Then there are minotaurs. They're cool. A bit loopy and in-your-face, but there aren't a whole lot of them to contend with. Plus, they've got hooves."

"Is that how you measure friendliness and compatibility?" Flash smiled. "If the creature's 'got hooves?'"

"Tends to work in my book. Oh... uhm... but not always, though." Soarin' suppressed a heavy sigh. "Take Tirek for example. Reallllllllllllly bad dude. He had hooves; didn't make him any less of a butthead."

"Oh yeah?"

"Nearly took over Equestria after he sucked all the magic out of our bodies. Super scary. I couldn't fly for a few days after his attack."

"Bummer."

"But it's okay now. Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her friends banished him back to Tartarus."

"No shit?!" Flash did a double-take. "There's an actual Honest-to-God Tartarus in Equestria?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... yeah? Why shouldn't there be?"

"Does Gal Gadot or Lynda Carter hang out there?"

"Who?"

Flash Sentry simply giggled. "N-never mind..."

"I swear... I hardly understand you half the time, Brad."

"Does it matter?"

"Nah." Soarin' suppressed a yawn, keeping an eye on the Midnight Oil and his fellow Wonderbolts. "Not really."

"Good to know that we've got ponies like Twilight and you keeping Equestria safe."

"Heh... honestly, you give the Wonderbolts too much credit," Soarin' said with a sigh. "I mean, I'm proud to serve the interests of Equestria, but between Tartarus, the Royal Guard, and the Princesses themselves—the Wonderbolts are almost only good for performing air shows in this day and age."

"Uh huh."

"Which is friggin' awesome by the way!" Soarin' proclaimed with a big-toothed grin. "Seriously, dude, you gotta come watch us perform sometime after this trip is over!"

"Heheheh... well, with a glowing endorsement like that, how can I refuse?"

"I'll even hook you up with some front row seats," Soarin' added with a wink. "Free of charge."

"Cool and cooler," Flash said. After a few seconds, he breathed... then asked, "So the Princesses protect Equestria, huh?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm." Soarin' nodded. "Without them, we wouldn't have the revolutions of the Sun and Moon."

Flash opened his muzzle... hesitated... then eventually murmured, "So... Princess Luna. She protects Equestria too, huh?"

"Oh. Without a doubt. I mean... eh..." Soarin' shrugged in mid-glide. "She's... had her ups and downs... but she's totally cool these days."

"And she's—like—the patron saint of dreams and stuff?"

"Huh?"

"She looks after ponies when they're asleep?"

Soarin' chuckled, glancing back at his travel buddy. "I'm thinking Luna isn't the only one who's been missing for a thousand years."

"Sorry."

"Nah, it's cool. Kinda feels refreshing to explain it all in elementary terms, actually," Soarin' said. "She can Dreamwalk n'stuff. I'm... not one hundred percent certain how it works, but she can see into our dreams... even visit us and help us—like—get in touch with our inner selves or whatnot. There are lots of ancient stories written about it. Legendary literature—I'm sure you've read a few, but just forget."

"Ancient, huh?"

"Well, pre-Exile."

"Has she..." Flash fidgeted in mid-air. "...ever visited you?"

Soarin' flashed the teenager a look.

Flash blinked. "No?"

"Er... well... uh uh." Soarin' shook his head. "That would be like being struck by lightning, dude." He looked ahead to mind the horizo once more. "Although..." A smile crept across his blue face. "Rainbow Dash says that she's communed with Luna in the dreamscape."

"Oh yeah?"

"You bet! Along with Princess Twilight and all of her friends. Rainbow totally bragged about it." Soarin's eyes narrowed. "Something to do with... helping Luna deal with a nasty nightmare of her own that was threatening Ponyville. Yeesh... I've no clue how that went down... only that Luna was cured. I'm surprised you don't know about it."

"Huh..."

"Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do if Luna visited me. Heh... I'd be put on the spot. I doubt she'd like my dreams, anyways. They're too... boring and stale."

"It's kinda freaky, actually," Flash muttered. "But in a nifty way, kinda."

Soarin's brow furrowed as he turned to look at him again. "You say that as if you've been visited by her in a dreamwalk before."

"That's because I was."

"Oh yeah? When."

"Erm... last night?"

Soarin's wings almost gave out. Catching the wind, he evened out and found the strength to wheeze: "Princess Luna visited you in a dream just last night?!"

"Uh huh..."

"Like... get out of town, dude!" Soarin' gazed at him in wonderment. "What did she say?"

"That... she sensed that I had something important to do in Equestria... something for other ponies."

"No kidding..." Soarin' gulped. "What happened next?"

"I... heard a screaming noise and woke up. First thing I knew, Blueblood's nephew was falling down past me. I flew into action and... well... you know the rest."

"... ... ...and this all happened after you met Luna in a dream?"

"Is... that normal?"

"Dude, I don't even know what to tell you. But... heheh..." Soarin' managed a smirk. "That's pretty rad, don't you think? It's almost like she predicted that you would save the Blue Family's heir!"

"Or... like..." Flash bit his lip. "...what if she meant something else?" He looked directly at Soarin'. "What if I still haven't done what she was talking about?"

Before Soarin' could respond—

"Location confirmed!" Spitfire's voice rasped from far ahead. Flash could see her amber figure streaking back towards the bow of the Midnight Oil. "Captain Typhoon! Alert Mr. Pants and Prince Blueblood! We have found the location of High Paw!"

"Aye!" Typhoon turned and shouted towards his crew. "All hooves! Slow the engines! Prepare our descent!"

"H-hey... finally!" Soarin' exhaled through a smile. "For a moment there, I was gonna start laughing about it."

Comments

[bloons3]

"What if I still haven't done what she was talking about?"

I think Flash is going to end up doing a lot more good that he realizes.

[Booster Spice]

The longer the wind up, the harder the cymbals crash together when things go CMC.

[MythrilMoth]

I thought dogs lived only seven years.

Got your dog lore mixed up there. On average, most dog breeds live between 13-20 years. The "seven years" thing is an old turd about "one human year is seven dog years".

[ScopeGuardPony]

I think their swell ponies and I wish them the best.

*they're. <.< >.>

[DrEggnog]

"H-hey... finally!" Soarin' exhaled through a smile. "For a moment there, I was gonna start laughing about it."

I'm blushing, truly.

[IceKitsune]

I think Flash will end up doing a lot of good for both Equestria and his world as well. It's going to be interesting figuring out what exactly that is though.

[Pyro Kittens In Suits]

Though this story started out rather sad and despairing, I really love reading it if anything just for the conversations Flash and Soarin talk about. It's nice to see a character so out of touch with other people being able to interact and enjoy talking with someone, or somepony, else. I guess it's almost sort of hopeful, in a way.

[Astorius]

7940903 Flash is not so wrong here.

The average lifespan of the giant dog breeds like St.Bernard or the Irish Woldhound ranges from 5 to 10 years and from Flashs perspective Diamond Dogs are one of them.

[PinkiePieFox]

[WiseFireCracker]

"But don't you think it'd be cool if ponies and non-ponies were friends?" Flash bit his lip, gazing down at the distant shadow that the Midnight Oil was making. "Perhaps... even something more?"

Flash. Let it go. You and Twilight aren't going to happen. And if it does, you're both going to be ponies at that time.

Also. Typo here.

I think their swell ponies and I wish them the best.

[pahnazd]

Well, Flash continues to surprise everyone (or, in this case, just Soarin') with what he's already been through.
If they all knew the full truth then I think they'd be even more impressed.

[FanOfMostEverything]

"So, yeah, one of the local god-empresses visited my dreams last night. Is that normal?"

Oh, Flash. I'm not sure if he's more amazed by Equestria or the other way around. In any case, the negotiations with the Dogs should be very interesting to see. I can't help but suspect that they're going to be insulted by the steel tools. "Here, have this stuff we stole from you and warped beyond recognition."

[Hap]

Alert Mr. Pants

This line just cracks me up.

[PropMaster]

Spitfire calling Fancy Pants "Mister Pants" gives me life. I love it, and I love how laconic and laid back Soarin' is.

[honeyhoneyhoney]

YAY!
PLOT HASETH ARRIVEDETH! YETH!

[Dracon_Pyrothayan]

"I think their swell ponies"

Wrong "They're" there.

[AppleTank]

dig their swell hoodies

[ExplosionMare]

Finally, they’re done loitering on the ship! The ship part was getting a little boring since it was a little long.