How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Crew

"A-a-ahem..." The mustached unicorn squinted aside. "Captain, if you wouldn't mind..."

The superior officer nodded, then proceeded to bark to all of the subordinates on deck. "Back to your stations, everypony! The crisis has been averted!"

"But Captain..." One deckhoof with folded ears meekly pointed at the fizzled beacon in the sky. "The flare—"

"What's done is done!" the Captain exclaimed. "No doubt the Wonderbolts will have had their reconnaissance interrupted by now. Let's not focus on that, and instead prepare for entering canine mountainspace! I want all sentries minding their posts! Keep an eye out for the summits! Those dogs could be anywhere!"

"Aye, sir!"

"Right away, sir!"

As ponies in uniforms galloped left and right, the unicorn with a monocle calmly trotted across the way and came to a stop before Flash Sentry. "So, then... what name might I put into the logbook for a commendation?"

Flash gave the aristocrat a double-take. "Huh? Commendation?"

The unicorn smirked. "I wasn't being coy, my good fellow. You did save a Prince just now. Surely this will improve your chances at receiving a promotion in your Brigade."

"Brigade?" Flash blinked. "Dude, I was just... y'know... out for a rip." He smiled crookedly. "A sky rip?"

The gentlecolt across from him adjusted his monocle. "You mean to tell me you're not a member of the Canterlot Guard out on patrol?"

"Uhhhh... no?"

"But these are treacherous clouds! The diamond dogs own these skies—as well as the mountains!"

"Diamond dogs?" Flash tilted his head aside. "You mean like David Bowie?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Flash fidgeted. "... ... ...Halloween Jack?"

The stallion chuckled. "Forgive me for being so curious. Are you or are you not a member of the Equestrian Defense force?"

"I'm sorry. I was just... y'know... flying." Flash gestured at the headphones hanging around his neck. "And rockin' some really awesome tunes in the process. Heh. Ever listened to Vinyl Scratch's stuff?"

"I... can't say that I have." The aristocrat cleared his throat. "Maybe a proper introduction would be in order."

"Yeah, sure."

He bowed before Flash with a soft smile. "My name is Fancy Pants. Entrepreneur. Philanthropist. Businessstallion."

"Snappy dresser."

"Cheers!" Fancy Pants gestured around him. "Welcome aboard the Midnight Oil. My latest prized zeppelin of Manehattan Engineering." He winked through his monocle. "I own an entire fleet of them, you see."

"Cool beans!" Flash smiled.

"Er... yes... they most certainly... are?"

The Captain strolled up. "Mr. Pants, we have resumed our course west into the canine lands."

"Ah!" Fancy Pants stepped towards the Captain's side. "And this lovely officer is the esteemed Captain Typhoon!"

The prim and proper stallion took a deep breath. "Captain Typhoon of the Twenty-Fourth Pegasus Brigade—"

"So formal! But then again..." Fancy Pants chuckled. "That's one of the reasons why I chose him to oversee this most fortuitous expedition." He patted the officer's uniformed shoulder. "Do loosen up, ol' chap! We started the morning with a miracle, didn't we?"

Captain Typhoon exhaled out his nostrils. "It will only be worth celebrating if we end this mission with one."

"Stiff upper lip! We'll have a plan drafted up as soon as the Wonderbolts return! I trust they are flying back to the Midnight Oil by now."

"No doubt they would have seen the flare, Mr. Pants."

"Very well. We'll make the best of it." Fancy Pants turned towards Flash, smiling. "And as for you—young one—they're bound to make a statue out of you in the royal gardens."

Flash blinked. "Who are?"

"Why, the Blueblood family, of course. Or at least Her Royal Highness Princess Azul."

"Gesundheit."

"Quite true, my good lad. Good deeds like this don't go unrewarded, especially when executed so casually by a random, humble civilian. What might your name be so that we could inscribe it on a plaque in due time?"

"Uhm..." Flash coughed. "Brad."

Fancy Pants stared at him. "Brad Breeze? Brad Skies? Brad Summers?"

"Nope. Just Brad."

"Hmmmm... how curiously monosyllabic. Forgive my old-fashioned nature, but just what inspires a name such as that?"

"Nothing much. I assure you."

"Well, it will make for an interesting plaque, I'm sure," Fancy Pants said. "I'm sure His Eminence will agree."

Flash looked towards the cabin. "What... are you dudes doing out here anyway?"

"Why, we're—"

Captain Typhoon cleared his throat.

Fancy Pants looked aside. "Why, my good Captain! It's no national secret!"

"The success of this mission depends on the utmost secrecy," Typhoon declared.

"What, do you suspect this young stallion of being in league with a rogue group of militant canines?" Fancy Pants suppressed a laugh. "Besides, you know how gossipy the farm folk of Equestria are! More ponies than we expect must be knowledgeable of our expedition by now."

Typhoon's eyes narrowed on Flash. "You truly weren't informed of the forbidden skies around these parts?"

"Uhhh... well... just how 'forbidden' are we talking about?" Flash gulped. "Am I about to have my manure pushed in or something?"

"Nothing of the sort!" Fancy Pants exclaimed. "We're blessed to have someone as courageous as you on board!" He squinted aside at Typhoon. "Isn't that right, Captain?"

The Captain sighed. "Mr. Pants..."

"You... do remember who owns the Midnight Oil, yes?"

A low growling sound surfaced in the uniformed horse's throat, only to diminish beneath a soft sigh. "We must have some degree of protocol around here, sir... or else I fear this expedition will end in failure."

"Something we can indeed work on once the Wonderbolts return, dear Captain."

"We shall see. I must observe the crew. If you will pardon me." Typhoon then trotted off.

"Okay... question..." Flash scratched his fuzzy orange chin. "How does a pony without wings get to be a Captain in the Twenty-Fourth Pegasus Brigade?"

"A most sore subject, I assure you." Fancy Pants hummed. "Very wise of you to wait until after he's left earshot to mention it, young lad."

"Right. I'll keep mum about it from now on."

"Now, I'm dying to ask. Precisely where do you hail from, Mr. Brad?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh..." Flash fumbled with the headphones around his neck. "Someplace far away."

"Oh? You mean a city like Seaddle? Fillyda? Neighva Scotia?"

Flash tripped on his tongue. "Ponyville."

"Hah! Ponyville?!" Fancy Pants grinned. "Why, that's not very far away at all!"

"Er..."

"But a lot of truly wonderful things come from Ponyville," Fancy Pants said warmly. "Not to mention truly wonderful ponies. I'm not surprised even the slightest. It's good to have you on board."

Flash exhaled with relief. "It's good to be on board." And he smiled, for he was telling the truth.

Comments

[Czar_Yoshi]

Mmmm, airship scenes. Even before the hiatus, it was a long time since I got to use my airship music while reading stuff here.

[Curtis LeMay]

why i chose

[Maniacal_Muffin]

7913218
Airship music?
You surely have made an art out of reading.

[IceKitsune]

Now we have the name just yet another SS&E airship, Midnight Oil, though I have a feeling this one is going to be less important than most.

[The 24th Pegasus]

"Cheers!" Fancy Pants gestured around him. "Welcome aboard the Midnight Oil. My latest prized zeppelin of Manehattan Engineering." He winked through his monocle. "I own an entire fleet of them, you see."
"Cool beans!" Flash smiled.

The prim and proper stallion took a deep breath. "Captain Typhoon of the Twenty-Fourth Pegasus Brigade—"

...I suddenly find myself with an urge to read this story. Strange, considering I've never really read Flash stories before.

[Golden Rule]

7913218 ok I can't NOT know what kind of songs are considered "airship music". Any recommendations? I have final fantasy OSTs and there's a ton of airships but that's about it.

[The Great Derpsby]

"Ah!" Fancy Pants stepped towards the Captain's side. "And this lovely officer is the esteemed Captain Typhoon!"

Er. Lovely?
So, was Fleur his beard, or..?

"Why, the Blueblood family, of course. Or at least Her Royal Highness Princess Azul."

High Princess Azul, hm?
Yeah, she needs a moment to get her two retainers ready.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/3/7/844582__safe_ponified_avatar+the+last+airbender_azula_ty+lee_mai_artist-colon-kerensasnow.png
They'll be there shortly.

[Czar_Yoshi]

7913276 Oh, you bet I have.

7913553 This is the one I was specifically talking about:

Fits this scene like a glove, though I mainly had it on for the first half of Odrsjot and bits of Yaerfaerda and Utaan. The Xenoblade soundtrack in general makes great reading music and often fits well with themes present in Skirts' work. Hidden Machina Village and the Day version of Sword Valley work well on airships too, though for cases where the tension is much lower or higher than it is now, respectively.

Also, if you use game music for reading, I strongly recommend smashcustommusic. Their player loops seamlessly at the original game loop points. Very spiffy.

[Booster Spice]

And theres Fancy Pants less well talked about soldiers rest and recuperation airship, Beds Are Burning. Depends on how talks with Thorax and the Happy Changelings are going for crewing it.

Theres doggies in the mountains, theres doggies in the sky. Theres doggies throwing sharp objects at the gasbag and I wish I really knew why.

[Leftover of Saikano]

Flash basically entered some RPG story.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Huh. Looks like Flash has stumbled upon an entirely different story. Whoops. Still, probably a good move to use his pseudonym, given how a Flash Sentry will be in the records.

[djthomp]

I still think he should have stuck with Derpy's Bard idea. But, I suppose he was already Brading it up around Ponyville.

[DrEggnog]

Midnight Oil is a cool fucking name for an airship.

[RadicalDishonesty]

I'm not sure if I'm unnerved by or endeared to Flash for his current critical lack of reverence and caution.

[gakposter]

7917322
HE FLEW WEST

[YoshiFawful64]

Businessstallion

This word really needs a hyphen. Uninterrupted strings of more than two of the same letter make me uncomfortable.
7913625
Oh hey, Xenoblade music! Nice to see another fan.

[Lucasmembrane]

7914064

True, at least until you consider what you do with midnight oil...

[Mother3Forever]

7969356
...omg you're right.

[wlam]

Welcome aboard the Midnight Oil.

Now there's an ominous name if I've ever heard one. Let's hope it doesn't catch on fire in the near future.

[punzil504]

8779221
I know, right...? How can they sleep while their beds are burning?

[Drachos]

8779392

I think they will be fine as long as the Diamond Dogs aren't hiding in a Blue Sky Mine.

Although I now want to see Pony Garrett dancing. Given his dancing in his human shape, he would likely make Twilight look elegant.

[Bruno]

Flash, my dude, you really have to start using your pony name. Come to think of it, are there two Flash Sentry’s in this world now?

[Detsella Morningdew]

"Am I about to have my manure pushed in or something?"

Flash comes up with the best expletives. This one works particularly well with ponies.

[AppleTank]

So... when are you going to be returning those headphones

[Sane Marbles]

8779221
Ah ha. I'm not the only one thinking of the saying " burning the midnight oil"