How to Disappear Completely

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Wake

"—aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Flash's pony eyes flew open.

His pony ears pivoted skyward.

In a jolt, the waking pegasus leapt up to his hooves, perched atop a lofty mountaintop. He looked up towards the dimly-lit haze of an early dawn.

In a blink, he saw the source of the screaming voice. A body was falling. A child's body—a child horse in a deathly plummet.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaah!"

"Holy boobjobs!" Flash gnashed his teeth. The scent of muffins wafted magically through his nose, and in the next adrenalized breath he was leaping off the cliffside with both wings outstretched like Derpy taught him. "Hang on! I've got you!"

The child said nothing—he only screamed. It was a colt—or so Flash surmised, for the falling body was streaking past him and sailing towards the rock-hard valley below.

"Ah jeez!" Flash's flight turned into a dive as he struggled to outfly the child's terminal velocity. The exhaustion of sleep flew out of his mind like a torn banner, and her burst on through with steely determination. Within milliseconds, he was gaining speed on the child, drawing close enough to see the colt's glistening horn, his flailing legs, and his rippling blonde mane. "Don't worry, kid!" He reached out with his hands. "I've got you—!"

The foal slipped through his fingers... just as Flash suddenly remembered he did not have fingers. Or hands.

"Sh-shit!" Flash cursed his dreamself and flapped his wings in an angry burst, missiling downward at Herculean speeds. "Just a second! I swear—" Trees and dirt materialized in his peripheral. The two of them were so close to the bottom of the valley that he could smell lichen and fungus. "Grnnnnngh—"

At long last, he outflew the foal's descent, barreled under him, and caught the child's flailing body in the crook of his fetlocks—just like he might catch a football back home.

"There!" He pivoted his wings and flapped them sideways, ascending before the two of them could become glue smears on the ravine floor. "Ha! Boo-ya!" Sweating, Flash cradled the shivering youngster in his forelimbs. "See? Told you I would—"

"You stupid filthy peasant!" The child grunted, slapping Flash's shoulder and neck repeatedly with dainty hooves. Flash smelled cologne and talcum powder. He realized that the angry child was dressed snugly in a silk jacket with aristocratic finery. "You nearly dropped me! What kind of a Wonderbolt are you?! Where's your uniform?!"

"Uhhhhhhhh..." Flash blinked. Hard. "You're welcome?" His orange muzzle scrunched. "And what's a 'Wonderbolt?'"

"This is all that upstart businessstallion's fault! Sending Spitfire, Soarin', and all the good fliers off to snoop around those smelly canines!"

"Kid, what are you even—"

"Take me back! Take me back nowww!" The child started sniffling. Tears ran down his pale muzzle and ruined his immaculate collar. "I want to see my Uncle! I want to see my Uncle Bluuuuue! Waaaaaaaah!"

Flash winced as the blubbering colt sobbed and wailed in his grasp. "Kid, just hold on a second. Who's Uncle Blue? And... and..." He gritted his teeth. "Where the Hell did you even fall from anyways—?"

Just as he said this, an immense shadow drew over the two of them. Flash looked up past the summits of the mountains flanking the ravine.

A large, elliptical body was cruising through the dim dawn sky. Flash observed a hard wooden finish, along with portholes, a rudder, and even an anchor. For all intents and purposes, it was as though he was gazing up at the lower hull of a sailing vessel. But then—as the vessel turned about... as if to search for something missing—Flash noticed a thick set of elongated balloons holding the craft aloft, almost like—

"A zeppelin?" Flash couldn't help but smile. The sobs of the colt felt like they were miles away, displaced by a sudden and inescapable bubble of magic horsie wonder. Smirking, Flash adjusted his grip of the foal, flapped his wings harder... and ascended to meet up with the large drifting sky vessel.

Comments

[RoboRed]

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Airships. I love airships.

Seems like what I assume to be Blueblood's bratty nephew just fell out of that airship. And the little shit doesn't seem to even care that he was moments away from becoming ground paste. That, or it just hit him later after he berated Flash.

"This is all that upstart businessstallion's fault! Sending Spitfire, Soarin', and all the good fliers off to snoop around those smelly canines!"

From what the kid said, I also assume that Fancy Pants might be up there somewhere. At least, that's what my first thought with "businessstallion" and "airship" leads to.

[Mix-up]

Well now he has ponies of influence indebted to him now that's a good sign that he is doing good at the moment. I wander what will happen next.

[Thought Prism]

I already hate this kid.

[bloons3]

Better and better with every chapter!

[Kilobytes]

7907178 heh, Fancy Pants and airship... that makes me think of that ol' story Flight of the Alicorn.

[DoctorDerpy]

This is going to be fun

[Booster Spice]

Oh good greif, Bluebloods multiplying by mitosis.

Hopefully Flash will get to meet one of the few sane entities on board that ship, depending which variations BlueBlood and FancyPants are in this reality?

At least Flash should be able to get Window cleaning and air barnacle scraping badges.

[Czar_Yoshi]

Flash has been drafted as a hero. This story is about to get a whole lot longer... and I can't wait.

[djthomp]

Ooo, an airship. And it sounds like it has nobles on board.

[Tephera]

"Holy boobjobs!"

HAHAHAHA Oh man I can NOT stop laughing! Anyway, please continue!

[I Thought I Was Toast]

Oh, man I needed to find this story. It's the perfect little bit of escapism I need right now.

[Comnislasher]

I hope that Blueblood here would be closer to comics version rather that usual fanon toxic version that authors like to use.

[WiseFireCracker]

What I'm wondering is who would be that kid's parents. I mean, sure, Uncle Blue could be Blueblood, but do we even know of a canon or non-canon sibling for the prince? Lots of fanon seemed to have made Cadence into an adoptive sister of him, but that can't be right here...

Hmmmm...

[IceKitsune]

"Holy boobjobs!"

I... What? How do you come up with this stuff

Such an ungrateful little kid, the Uncle has to be Blue Blood for sure hopefully the family will at least be appreciative of Flash's rescue.

[Leftover of Saikano]

The title, along with the body falling, makes me think of Bring Me to Life.

[pahnazd]

Spoiled brats. Just what Flash needed. Then again, near-death experiences can make anyone behave absolutely out of their character, so the kid'll get a pass for now.
Then again, making the "nobles" fall to their deaths could be a good wake up call for all of them. Remind them that when they fall, they will have to rely on someone they might have seen as beneath them to bother with a rescue. Why am I saying this anyway? No idea.
Anyway!

Really though, where did the kid fall from? They were, if I remember correctly, in the middle of nowhere.

[smolbep]

7908134

I assume he fell from the giant airship. You know, the one mentioned in the last paragraph?

[pahnazd]

7908159 While that is true, the little cold said that a 'Bolt dropped him. I just stupidly worded my sentence, as usual

[smolbep]

7908277
He thought that Flash was a Wonderbolt.

[Hap]

a sudden and inescapable bubble of magic horsie wonder.

This describes so much of your writing.

[Galaxy of Equestria]

flash sentry is hero

[GeorgeOfTheJungle]

"I want to see my Uncle! I want to see my Uncle Bluuuuue! Waaaaaaaah! "

Ah, that explains the attitude.

[AppleTank]

hey, hey kid. Fuck u

[a new guy007]

8866318
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[flutterboot]

This is going to end in misunderstandings and possibly jail.