The mountain mists formed a second sky, colored in white swaths of starlight that made the heavens dance in a silver sway. Wolves howled in the distance—too loud to be anything but metaphysical. The steep embankments and the ravine below echoed with lonesome life. The reverberation finished as soon as it had started, and the delightful hush of a tranquil world resumed its satin slumber.
Far below, a river wound its way between the edges of a canyon. Narrow rippling waters ferried the moonlight in diamondesque bands, illuminating the fringes of grassy knolls and dark forests. The canopies swayed in a cold wind, and black streaks—squirmy nocturnal things—shifted between branches with untold purpose.
In one direction, the horizon cascaded into humble mountain ridges, kissed along their peaks with a hint of rainclouds. Opposite to that, the sky hung high with stellar poise, riddled with cosmic dust. High above, looming with luster, the moon began its lazy slope towards the edge of the world, drowning out the glitter of night with its pallid fabric.
There, in the middle of everything and nothing, alone and untouched, Flash Sentry sat on a cold mountaintop, gazing into the blissful emptiness.
And he thought of Twilight.
Vinyl Scratch's music had long finished. There was still "juice" in the crystal manashard, Flash figured, but did not bother to restart the tracks. He didn't even remove the headphones. He simply sat there—half deaf—but hardly blind. His eyes traced the stars, the nebulae that hung in the distance, and all of the other galactic phenomena that emulated-but-did-not-entirely-match the beauty that had once graced his teenage life.
Twilight Sparkle was happy. She was quick to emotion. Her mouth was full of wisdom and her heart full of empathy. She strove to do what was best for everyone—willing to sacrifice herself for the common good at the drop of a hat. She was impulsive, but in an adorable way. Affordably clumsy and in all things curious, she was never seen without a smile... without eyes filled with wonderment and yearning.
She was every bit the same as all the ponies Flash Sentry had met since coming here.
And for the first time since Camp Everfree... since the Friendship Games... since the Battle of the Bands and the Fall Formal... Twilight Sparkle was starting to make sense... as did Flash's infinitesimal lot in the fabric of the entire canvas.
He had already given up on her—in a way—but it was moreso a melodramatic exclamation of woe.
Now... for better or for worse... the pieces were coming together, and while the universe was still bleak... it was still a warm universe... for it housed warm souls like Twilight.
And it could house a warm soul like his.
Flash gazed up into the sky. He saw constellations that he could not recognize—but he didn't bother to. Life was as much a mystery back home as it was here. Only—the magic and spontaneity of this place made everything so... refreshing. Like the amniotic fluid of rebirth—or something like it. He couldn't tell. He couldn't pretend to tell. All he could do was sit in one spot and drink it all in.
And in between the inhales and exhales, a bitter breath resurfaced. Somewhere... a mirror lied in wait... a portal that had expelled a foreign contaminant.
Flash didn't belong there.
And yet... as hard as he tried to buck up and face reality...
...he knew he didn't belong back home either. Even if he had become coldly-acquainted with the shadows, dust, and shadows of dust that made up his supposed home. It simply wasn't accelerating him anywhere. It wasn't conducive to growing... to moving... to advancing.
Life was about living, and he didn't seem to know what living felt like... until just a few hours ago.
He didn't know why, but he was smiling. It wasn't quite the reaction he was looking for, but he knew better than to complain. At last, he pulled the headphones off his ears with a lazy hoof. The cold that filled his fuzzy lobes was numbing, but refreshing all the same. He felt as though the world was breathing on him. In just a few seconds, the lips would meet, and he would be at the end of a long, cosmic kiss.
So he closed his eyes and waited for it... even if it would never come... even if he had already reached the pinnacle of human... equine... or cognitive comprehension.
If the best in life had already happened... then what was there to mourn? Good things were good things; it didn't matter if the afterglow lasted a day or seventy years.
And for the first time in as long as Flash could remember, he felt... thankful.
The exhaustion of thinking had taken its toll. Soon, without much effort whatseover, Flash felt himself fall asleep.
He was thankful for that too.
Hmm...mayhaps Flash Sentry has finally found true peace?
Or is it just the beginning of him still trying to figure out his place in relation to this world?
One way or the other, the hardest part will still be that he will have to make a choice at some point.
Also, oooohhh....neat new cover art!!!
*Formal
I thought that he was just going to let himself die, aka 'disappear forever', until I realised that he still needs to return the headphones to Vinyl
Now it is time for him to start figuring out where he belongs for real. Though I have a feeling that he might just learn he has to go back to try and make his world a better place, perhaps.
Also really loving the new cover art amalgamzaku did quite a good job.
I think you mean half-deaf.
Im at the,
top of the world,
looking
down on creation,
7899940 This is a horrific piece of poetry. Look at the meter and rhythm: there isn't one.
edit: apparently it's not poetry, it's from a song. My bad.
Line 1: I'm at the (emph: I'm at the). Molossus: all three syllables are stressed.
Line 2: top of the world. Trochee followed by iamb. This feels unnatural.
Line 3: looking. Spondee: two stressed syllables.
Line 4: down on creation (not sure if 'on' is stressed or not here). 5 syllables, consisting of an antibacchius (triple word score!) followed by a trochee.
Either way, literally zero lines share a length or a meter. The result is a mess that doesn't flow and feels unnatural to read or say.
Not to mention, of course, that the poem is devoid of meaning. A whole line is devoted to 'looking', but there's no significant meaning attached to that action! Same with 'I'm at the': what's the point of this line? To emphasize 'I'm at the', as opposed to someone else? I doubt it. Also, the intent of the poem seems to be to express the superiority or higher perspective of the viewer, but I don't think that has a good thematic connection to the story. Yes, Flash may have gained a new perspective on the world, but it's not one of superiority, nor is he actually thinking about the world in its entirety at all.
I took the liberty of changing the composition without changing the meaning; the result is still lifeless but at least it flows better.
Atop the world,
I turn my gaze,
down upon creation.
7900158
7900158 I think it's a haiku. Those don't necessarily need rythem.
7900158 I appreciate the thought put into your comment despite mistaking a reference to song lyrics for a standalone poem. I've never seen a poetic analysis like that before. Are you an editor? Indeed, if it were a written poem, it would bug me. I wonder, do you hold the same opinion of the song?
7900227 I'm not an editor, but I think it's important to understand the art that you see, including poetry.
The issues that are present in that verse presented as poetry are not problems when they're song lyrics. In a song, you hear the lyrics in the context of the music, as sung by the singer. The words are just another aspect of the music, and it doesn't necessarily have to obey 'normal' reading/speaking rules. Contrast that to poetry, in which the words are the music.
Well, at least he's happy now. And hey, he doesn't seem to panic about Twilight anymore! Or actually... we'll see about that if he comes even remotely close to her.
So, now he's asleep. I'm expecting a scene of Luna being confused as to why there are two Flash Sentries
Can we expect a dream-walking Luna?
And in his sleep he uttered six words...
...And then he flew east.
7900158
Sorry for the confusion, apparently its Allergy January for me and the medication is having effects not limited to enforced drowsiness. Otherwise I could have remembererd the name of the song and group at the time, then linked to the appropiate source.
Hallucinations make me Kirk, Jim.
Equestria has green hyena-men?
Oh dear. While it's nice to see Flash so satisfied with life, it's a lot less nice to see him set himself up for death by hypothermia. I hope someone steps in before it's too late.
7900506
I think they're crossbreeds of Diamond Dogs and timberwolves.
IMO, go talk to Twilight, Flash. I think it's time.
Really, good.
But to be honest, I do not understand how did Sunsed survive when she was transported from paradise that is Equestria there to bleak Earth.
I might be wrong here, but I think there's a slight typo in there.
Now, as for the actual chapter itself. I'm gonna guess this is probably a bit redundant, but you have a very pretty and flowing prose, you know that?
Flash finding a sense of his happiness and a place to belong was really nice to read about.
So short >_>
Still, ah'm glad yer usin words good naow.
woo.
You know, I've read a lot of fan fiction on this site. And something I've come to observe, is that, in the actually good stories involving humans turning into ponies... they turn into the pony species they most need to be to truly live fulfilling lives. And I'm talking about individuals that were actually flawed from the beginning, missing something as a human that they find as a pony. People that turn into unicorns, I've observed, tend to need structure in their life, they need to learn how to operate and build their lives in more patient and well thought-out ways. When they turn into earth ponies I've noticed it's because they need to find their sense of determination, and practical thinking. And with Flash here, I've noticed that he needed a sense of passion. A way to express himself and feel like his life has meaning in some way, if only for just himself. As a human everything depended on his success and ability to work hard, and even then, a good happy life wasn't guaranteed. As a pegasus though, he's starting to see that even if the world falls apart around him, he'll be able to live still so long as he has his friends, and two strong wings strapped to his back.
8777446
Fascinating point. I would actually explain it a little differently, though:
Flash Sentry's old life was simply drifting without purpose and direction, helplessly blown this way and that by the wind and still going nowhere, feeling like he had no say in anything going on around and with him. He was the dirt picked up by a strong breeze. Worthless, isolated.
Now, he has wings. He has a say in where the wind takes him.
If I didn't already up-thumb this story, I'd do it after reading this chapter.
Don't feel so guilty, Flash. You're not the only one who is sticking around in an alien world because it's better over there. No one said you have die where you're born. It's just like immigration, that's all.
7901906
Because she's the most human pony I've ever seen. Hell, she even fries her words - it's hilarious. It's also why she couldn't fit into Celestia's Equestria.
8777446
Okay that was a nice post. I never thought of it that way.
Embrace the pony-side, Flash!